I often feel like a relationship or a person can fix me, so in the moment I throw everything into that person. Now I realize I think that is unhealthy and it is impossible for a person or a relationship with a person to fix things, but of course sometimes I am still delusional in that way, dispite knowing logically it is not true, it still feels true... IDK, I'm just wondering if anyone else has this? Is it ever true? I assume it is never true, right a single relationship/person cannot fix things, right? RIGHT?
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Kristicide
I am a prisoner locked up behind xanax bars
- Dec 16, 2021
- 330
Maybe it's possible you have Dependent Personality Disorder. Do you see a therapist? I could be completely wrong.
I used to see a therapist, they thought I had ADD and then BPD and then they were just confused and said I had some complex issue and they wouldn't tell me why. I used to think I had a dependent issue because when I was in middle school I was always trying to find someone to tell me what to do, and I was looking it up online and I found that. It's not really an issue, well it sort of is, most people who want to tell you what to do all the time are abusive, and I almost joined two cults because of it. (I say cults, but IDK if it counts, you can look up "Kali Yuga Accerlationism" to find info about one, but it doesn't really exist anymore, the other is lead by this guy named IcyCalm, his site is orgyofthewill.net, it has pretty hateful stuff on it so maybe avoid, LOL). Anyways, I way always friends with people like more than ten years older than me and always looking for someone to tell me what to do. Most recently I was with a guy and I told him I wanted him to basically treat me as an object and make all decisions for me, but my therapist convinced me to stop talking to him since he was like encouraging self harm and drug use and stuff.. AAA IDK, anyways, IDK what to say, sorry. Long ramble for you IG. I really want to see a physchiatrist or something and just figure out what's wrong, I realize that it's sort of complex but uhhhh. AAA
AAA AAAAAA
Pluto
Meowing to go out
- Dec 27, 2020
- 4,031
Relationships can bring up issues that we otherwise keep hidden, so offer the possibility of personal evolution. This is already happening since these experiences are stimulating so much self-reflection in you.
I'm guessing you were neglected in childhood, as this would explain the tolerance for mistreatment in your adult relationships. Our minds are programmed to repeat cycles of the past, such that any sort of 'fixing' would necessarily involve consciously going against that habit. Any healing of yourself would change the types of people you wish to be around and the tone of your relationships.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to relinquish control in the context of a relationship, though the results will only be positive if the other person is reasonably of sound mind and genuinely loves you.
The most common cause of feeling dependent is the anxious attachment style. I have it myself and it's a lot of fun (not). It again relates to childhood troubles.
www.attachmentproject.com
I'm guessing you were neglected in childhood, as this would explain the tolerance for mistreatment in your adult relationships. Our minds are programmed to repeat cycles of the past, such that any sort of 'fixing' would necessarily involve consciously going against that habit. Any healing of yourself would change the types of people you wish to be around and the tone of your relationships.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to relinquish control in the context of a relationship, though the results will only be positive if the other person is reasonably of sound mind and genuinely loves you.
The most common cause of feeling dependent is the anxious attachment style. I have it myself and it's a lot of fun (not). It again relates to childhood troubles.
Anxious Attachment Style Guide: Causes & Symptoms
How does anxious attachment develop in childhood and what are 10 common behaviors that manifest later in adult relationships?
www.attachmentproject.com
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whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
Life isn't black of white, a good relationship can undoubtedly help greatly someone to turn their life around, but you will always need to have the minimum requirements to make a relationship work. You have to be sure that you come in with some assets, defenses and a escape plan. You also need to know if the person is actually compassionate. If you are mentally ill or disabled in any way the other person needs to be very understanding, ideally by having the same issues.
Conversely, there is always a risk with trying to fulfill the reproductive instinct and that is we truly let our guard down and develop very tender and sensitive ties to someone. If that person decides to start slashing those delicate blood vessels that are trying to make the other person part of your own organism then you will experience great pain and sometimes die of "emotional exsanguination". This is not a joke, many people die of this, normally by suicide, but it can be a slow-burn suicide such as alcoholism too.
TLDR: of course that a relationship with the right person can help you to not kill yourself and be happy, but developing feelings for the wrong person can also make you kill yourself.
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