Venting relationships are hard

[SweetTangerine]

i'm always so scared that i make my boyfriend mad. he goes offline on discord whenever i'm not in a good mood and i say something in a not so happy tone.

i want to spend the rest of my worthless life with him. why am i fucking this up so hard???

if i lose him i won't have anything left.

 

[Ghost2211]

He stops talking to you when you're in a low mood or when you're in an angry mood? Also, have you talked to him about it?

 

[SweetTangerine]

He stops talking to you when you're in a low mood or when you're in an angry mood? Also, have you talked to him about it?

he either tries to have me vent about it, or he just goes offline. i want to talk to him about it, but i'm so used to people shutting me down when i bring stuff like this up.

we've promised each other to share when we feel "down," but i dont think it'd help me at all. i'd rather bottle it up. i think i'll only vent on here from now on instead of sharing my feelings with anyone in my actual life.

 

[Ghost2211]

he either tries to have me vent about it, or he just goes offline. i want to talk to him about it, but i'm so used to people shutting me down when i bring stuff like this up.

we've promised each other to share when we feel "down," but i dont think it'd help me at all. i'd rather bottle it up. i think i'll only vent on here from now on instead of sharing my feelings with anyone in my actual life.

Venting here and keeping bettering interaction in the relationship may very well help. People sometimes want to understand or help us, but if they can't having us tell them how much we hate life repeatedly can strain relationships and be exhausting for people.

 

[SweetTangerine]

Venting here and keeping bettering interaction in the relationship may very well help. People sometimes want to understand or help us, but if they can't having us tell them how much we hate life repeatedly can strain relationships and be exhausting for people.

yeah; he always tells me that i can vent to him about whats on my mind all the time, but i feel like its just agitating him and making him sad that i hate life.

he cried because he was scared i was going to ctb after i left his house. i felt so fucking bad, but i just want to die. i also dont want to leave him alone in such a fucked up world. i dont know what i'm going to do. i was supposed to ctb this weekend but he invited me.over again, and his mom bought me presents.

i dont want to be a waste of money. i feel. so guilty

 

[Ghost2211]

yeah; he always tells me that i can vent to him about whats on my mind all the time, but i feel like its just agitating him and making him sad that i hate life.

he cried because he was scared i was going to ctb after i left his house. i felt so fucking bad, but i just want to die. i also dont want to leave him alone in such a fucked up world. i dont know what i'm going to do. i was supposed to ctb this weekend but he invited me.over again, and his mom bought me presents.

i dont want to be a waste of money. i feel. so guilty

There will be other opportunities. I think a lot of us hesitate around the holidays.

People often tell us we can talk to them, and they might even want to. The problem is if it's not a solvable problem we can't talk to loved ones about that we will die and they can't fix it. It's really too much for them, and honestly I can see why. You can always talk to us about these things though, and you'll be heard and understood. That is what makes this group so special.

 

[SweetTangerine]

There will be other opportunities. I think a lot of us hesitate around the holidays.

People often tell us we can talk to them, and they might even want to. The problem is if it's not a solvable problem we can't talk to loved ones about that we will die and they can't fix it. It's really too much for them, and honestly I can see why. You can always talk to us about these things though, and you'll be heard and understood. That is what makes this group so special.

thank you for talking to me about this. i feel way better than how ive been feeling all day today

 

[awfullife]

Alot of fragile men like me cannot handle conflict at home. I was a type A alpha at work but at home I fear conflict and tun from it. Conflict is an important part of healthy relationships.

The reason i/we fear conflict is that we are scared of losing the relationship, and losing our money/ lifestyle but also because we feel unworthy of any other person loving us. We are the type of people who don't have a preference on many things, and dont EVER initiate conflict. This causes s/o to fill the void and introduce more and more conflict until the relationship fails.

Sorry you are in a tough spot. I hope you find healing somewhere.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Haven't even managed to get one yet so think I'd shoot myself trying to maintain one