firewoodduck

firewoodduck

Member
Oct 23, 2024
9
I've had a problem with SH since I was 12 and its coming back. I feel so guilty I promised a friend that I wouldn't and haven't told him yet. Idk if I'll ever tell him.

I came close to passing out, I got really lightheaded, nauseous, and my ears started ringing. I was dizzy to the point of not being able to stand so I crawled to the bathroom and the cool tile kinda grounded me. This has happened both times I relapsed this year. I never had this reaction when I was younger so its odd that I have it now, has anyone else experienced this or know why?

The friend that I promised would be really distraught if he found out. He's said before that he would come to my house to stop me from hurting myself (10-15 min drive) and though hes done some shitty things, he really truly cares about me. He gets upset when I joke about offing myself or talk about not wanting to live. Hes said recently that if I killed my self he would also attempt bc he feels responsible for how I feel. Hes going though enough rn, telling him I relapsed might destroy him.

I reached out for help today and am talking to a professional tomorrow, not gonna the mention the sh just talk about my problems. I don't really know the lady I'm talking to so I hope it goes well
 
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