Relapse and meds

[KikoKiki]

I relapsed two days ago. I didn't care that I lost all that progress because no one besides the person reading this and anyone I tell will know. I feel like i was meant to lose my mind and live a life of misery. One day I might get better or ill die of suicide. I ended up missing my appointment with my psychiatrist, ill have to wait four months to talk to them. A part of me wants to get better while the other part doesn't. If I don't get stronger meds I and try harder I don't think I will get better.

 

[ropearoundatree]

Hi I'm sorry this happened to you, but I also think it's a very human thing to do, and that it is ok to forgive yourself. You should instead applaud yourself for the substantial progress you did make, and focus whatever energy you'd like on how things go from here moving forward (as opposed to fixating on the misstep). Is there a way you can get a rescheduled appointment sooner, if you explain the situation to them? I understand the act of self destruction all too well. It is innate in me, and almost as if done by breathing, or unconsciously. Just because you feel you don't deserve a normal life, and one free from pain, doesn't mean or make it necessarily so. You seem to have keen insight into your plight, and what needs to be done in order to improve. If however that is not your wish, then I respect that decision and mindset, or make-up as well. We're all just trying to figure a way out of here: one way, or the other.

 

[KikoKiki]

Hi I'm sorry this happened to you, but I also think it's a very human thing to do, and that it is ok to forgive yourself. You should instead applaud yourself for the substantial progress you did make, and focus whatever energy you'd like on how things go from here moving forward (as opposed to fixating on the misstep). Is there a way you can get a rescheduled appointment sooner, if you explain the situation to them? I understand the act of self destruction all too well. It is innate in me, and almost as if done by breathing, or unconsciously. Just because you feel you don't deserve a normal life, and one free from pain, doesn't mean or make it necessarily so. You seem to have keen insight into your plight, and what needs to be done in order to improve. If however that is not your wish, then I respect that decision and mindset, or make-up as well. We're all just trying to figure a way out of here: one way, or the other.

I really appreciate your words. I'm currently trying to find a space in my schedule where I can have a new appointment so hopefully i'll find time soon or they can squeeze me in. I think youre right about applauding myself for the progress I did make. I often find it hard to look on the positive side of things but its something im working on.