Life+me=error

Life+me=error

Warlock
May 22, 2019
736
Does anyone else with severe depression or anxiety or any form of mental disorder feel like refusing treatment, and feel like they never want to get better?
 
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Monster

Monster

Member
Apr 26, 2019
77
Well I will get better when I kill myself, so... until then I do what my mum tells me otherwise she would get suspicious, and then also think that if I'd just listened to her then I wouldn't have killed myself or whatever.
 
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whatever1111

Student
Feb 16, 2019
195
I want to get better, but I cant make myself believe its possible, e. g. I have no hope, so I dont seek help although I suffer badly... the irony is, this indecisiveness is what destroyed my life this badly in the first place - several times I was on the brink of doing sth that would improve my life radically, like moving away from my family, but in the end I failed. I'm sure there's a deeper reason why it is so, I guess my 'self' is too fragmented, with many contradictory interests. my narcissistic part wants only what could be deemed respectful in some way, enhancing in terms of power, while my factual self is tired as hell + has very weak negotiating skills - I always somehow sideline my 'real', longterm interests.
in short, I think I want to get better, but I also cant stop seeking a guarantee, a life-proof vest, which is of course impossible in life. I guess I am a hopeless coward
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I refuse treatment, but only because it hasn't worked in the past and I've given up on getting better.
 
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thisplaceisaprison

Student
Mar 20, 2019
151
Yeah, I've tried a lot of medications and I'm not exactly sure what they're supposed to do most of them just made me nauseous and not really feel different at all. I haven't really found psychiatry helpful at all. I want to want to get better, but I really don't know how.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
Does anyone else with severe depression or anxiety or any form of mental disorder feel like refusing treatment, and feel like they never want to get better?
I don't want to get better in the way that psych doctors want to help me get better. I don't want to be brainwashed into thinking everything is alright and I just need to change my perception because I can't change my situation.
Well I am a stubborn a** b**** and that's one thing that will probably never die. And I say if you don't want to help the actual problem, then you don't want to help at all. You want to hurt. You want to change WHO I am.
You want to fix what isn't broken and leave alone what is.
Medications have done nothing for me but make me worse.
I think it is because-for me-I am reacting normally to a bad situation.
So unless the doctors just want to be a bro and give me a break and get me high, the meds are not going to have any positive effect.
I do want to sleep though, and not be so prone to tears. So I probably will have to take SOMETHING for those problems. I refuse any anti-psychotics and truly mind altering drugs though. Also talk therapy is a big fat NO for me, people don't realize how damaging just talk therapy can be.
I literally ran out of the office once, years ago, headed straight for traffic until my mother slammed me behind the door and threatened me with what she thought would get me to stop running.
The words that come out of some of these people's mouths have been responsible for killing the only hope I had left at the time.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I don't want to get better in the way that psych doctors want to help me get better. I don't want to be brainwashed into thinking everything is alright and I just need to change my perception because I can't change my situation.
Well I am a stubborn a** b**** and that's one thing that will probably never die. And I say if you don't want to help the actual problem, then you don't want to help at all. You want to hurt. You want to change WHO I am.
You want to fix what isn't broken and leave alone what is.
Medications have done nothing for me but make me worse.
I think it is because-for me-I am reacting normally to a bad situation.
So unless the doctors just want to be a bro and give me a break and get me high, the meds are not going to have any positive effect.
I do want to sleep though, and not be so prone to tears. So I probably will have to take SOMETHING for those problems. I refuse any anti-psychotics and truly mind altering drugs though. Also talk therapy is a big fat NO for me, people don't realize how damaging just talk therapy can be.
I literally ran out of the office once, years ago, headed straight for traffic until my mother slammed me behind the door and threatened me with what she thought would get me to stop running.
The words that come out of some of these people's mouths have been responsible for killing the only hope I had left at the time.
Exactly this (which is why I can't be helped). I don't want to accept myself or my situation. It only makes sense to be unhappy, given my circumstances.
 
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Lush_nova

Lush_nova

Self Destruct Activated
May 16, 2019
105
I have been offered medication, but I turned it down. I know where I am right now, I know how my body is working and what it is doing. The medication they offered me screws with your body esp women's cycles. Sorry but I'm not going from what I call my safe bubble into a life of unknown issues. Some of which could cause me more stress, which is something they want me to avoid.
I am happy dealing with things in my own way, at my own pace and taking each day as it comes.
Also talk therapy is a big fat NO for me, people don't realize how damaging just talk therapy can be.
.

I agree with this, talking has never helped me, it's just sent me on a downward spiral
 
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throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
i just dont believe in that .. prolifers dont really care about how u feel ..they just want u alive at any cost ..
 
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1

1234dave

Specialist
Oct 5, 2018
369
I am severely damaged by these fucking meds. Now I need them but can't take them as I'm too damaged.
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Does anyone else with severe depression or anxiety or any form of mental disorder feel like refusing treatment, and feel like they never want to get better?
Yes, but the problem is there is no access to treatment, and I'm not going to be put on the pills. I'm too poor to afford excellent longterm psychotherapy. Plus whatever living assistance I might need in order to minimize responsibilities while I'm in some sort of longterm treatment.
 
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Koal

Koal

Student
Dec 16, 2018
101
If I get treated it would stop shitty things from happening, it will just stop me from wanting to kill myself when they do.
 
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martha

martha

Experienced
Mar 14, 2019
201
Does anyone else with severe depression or anxiety or any form of mental disorder feel like refusing treatment, and feel like they never want to get better?
me, bc I think everything has a reason.... there is a reason, why I had depression, there is a reason to everything in life...if you do not go through the dark you cannot feel how beautiful is the sunshine....I do not want to be cured of my disability...I want to experience it....if you go through the desert, you find how beautiful is a sip of water.....bless you:love:
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
What is treatment exactly? because toxic medications aren't, I'd rather suffer than damage my brain and suffer more to make doctors happy and richer. Here in UK can't even get a diagnosis never mind treatment.
 
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kappa

kappa

Experienced
Apr 2, 2019
233
I haven't refused treatment, but I do feel like my depression is a huge part of my identity.
 
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ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
If you're talking about "treatments" such an antidepressants/ anxiety meds, I refuse to take that bullshit because when I ease myself off of it I'm just going to feel the same way again, so what the fuck is the point? Nevermind the fact they make me feel completely and utterly like a brain-dead zombie
 
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Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
Me. I am better lately but I refused to take AD. I still think in ctb but in a philosophic manner and I realized that I dont going to do this soon because of many factors (I live with my dad and mom and I can't get N, or SN in this situation, etc. ).
 
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Nobeggingformercy

Member
May 25, 2019
6
I'm trying to avoid being caught and having to return(Still living at home). I managed to bullshit my way out of the first and it will likely be harder a second time. It's done nothing but bring in a stable period as well as a facade for the vast majority of the people I know
 
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