Help refeeding syndrome

[loslassen]

the title explains it, I want to vent and discuss something that troubles my mind atm. throughout my life I've had really unstable shifts within my lifestyle, I've had extreme, and I mean HARSH ups and downs between having a lot of money or food to then having nothing, moving houses all throughout my childhood, having expectations and promises made to me to then be disillusioned, then suddenly granted something really big or impactful in my life. this lack of stability has followed me to this day, and apparently things might just actually get better for me economically, I've gotten a green light in my life that will switch up and finally allow me to live with dignity regarding my basic needs like health, food, hygiene and education. however… I don't feel happy about it. I feel skeptical, scared, like it might just slip through my fingers, It feels like sudden overcompensation for all the lost time and pain, I'm scared I might choke on things, which is why I'm using the refeeding syndrome as a metaphor, I expressed it to my partner but we couldn't really discuss it, truth is I feel misplaced, concerned to be disappointed, because I know even if I live better there's a lot of emotional and personal and familial issues that won't change… I'm trying not to be negative, but I can't help but feel so distrusting. anyone else experienced that?

 

[loslassen]

I guess not.

 

[Argo]

It sounds like you're describing something like post traumatic stress disorder. You'll have to be the judge ultimately and reflect on your life and see if the way you currently feel is explained by a constant conditioning from your past that re-traumatizes you. Whatever it is, it's tough to break out of, because first it's not necessarily a "disorder" but a survival mechanism if reality is constantly a roller coaster for you-- that fact of "this is helping/this is hurting" causes a lot of dissonance.

I had some symptoms myself where I would get a sudden impending feeling that someone would run into me and push me off of subway platforms onto the tracks. This lasted a few years, but eventually went away. It wasn't isolated to the subway but basically the nervous system is saying "Potential threat to existence!" "Don't get too comfortable!" as a strategy based on what it has learned. I think the "can control" / "can't control" mindset is really useful for getting out of this. What can you do about this threat in realistic terms? Whatever that is, patiently, and with kindness towards yourself, do that. But then there are things you can't control. If disaster strikes tomorrow, then... beyond the prep you did from the first question, there really is nothing to fight with. Nothing to struggle with. It's a non-problem masquerading as a problem whose only purpose seems to be to torment you and sabotage you. Realizing that in a crystal clear way, makes the problem go away in the same way a building whose support beams all suddenly fail, collapses.

 

[F&Inside]

I focus it on the family, a childhood with economic problems with ups and downs leave sequels, yes, but lacking a supportive and caring family in those hard times is even worse than the situation itself, from my point of view.
That's what really hurts.

 

[loslassen]

It sounds like you're describing something like post traumatic stress disorder. You'll have to be the judge ultimately and reflect on your life and see if the way you currently feel is explained by a constant conditioning from your past that re-traumatizes you. Whatever it is, it's tough to break out of, because first it's not necessarily a "disorder" but a survival mechanism if reality is constantly a roller coaster for you-- that fact of "this is helping/this is hurting" causes a lot of dissonance.

I had some symptoms myself where I would get a sudden impending feeling that someone would run into me and push me off of subway platforms onto the tracks. This lasted a few years, but eventually went away. It wasn't isolated to the subway but basically the nervous system is saying "Potential threat to existence!" "Don't get too comfortable!" as a strategy based on what it has learned. I think the "can control" / "can't control" mindset is really useful for getting out of this. What can you do about this threat in realistic terms? Whatever that is, patiently, and with kindness towards yourself, do that. But then there are things you can't control. If disaster strikes tomorrow, then... beyond the prep you did from the first question, there really is nothing to fight with. Nothing to struggle with. It's a non-problem masquerading as a problem whose only purpose seems to be to torment you and sabotage you. Realizing that in a crystal clear way, makes the problem go away in the same way a building whose support beams all suddenly fail, collapses.

thank you for this, it really helps, I do have a lot to reflect on to overcome these feelings.

 

[Argo]

thank you for this, it really helps, I do have a lot to reflect on to overcome these feelings.

Glad it helps, good luck