Discussion Reasons to vs reasons not to

[Mr2005]

Everyone must have a list. The reasons to are overwhelming. I've concluded it would be the rational thing to do but we know human beings aren't rational. The reasons not to. My girlfriend who just waits on the sidelines as I decide what to do. The cat who might love me even more than she does. Would that be enough for most people? I have no job, qualifications or prospects. I'd be settling for a quiet life which should be easier to have than it is. I can't shake the feeling of what might have been but knowing where I went wrong has given me an understanding of the world I wouldn't have had before. I still have delusions of grandeur they're just not of the narcissistic all eyes on me kind. In fact I'd rather not be seen or heard most of the time but that's because it's humiliating. I don't blame the world for my problems but I also don't want to be part of it anymore. I want to do something that'll make a difference or it doesn't seem worth carrying on. Despite my girlfriend and the cat who I love I'm just not sure that's what I was meant for. She wants a family. I don't but I want her to be happy. If I get her pregnant that's it then I'm stuck. If I don't do it soon it might be too late and then if I do decide to end it she'll be all alone. She just wants me to focus on the small things like most people do. That would be easier if I was happy in my life but I'm not

 

[Death.]

Your cat will forget about your existence 2 days after your death. It's just an animal. You seem like a rational person and I'm just trying to level with you honestly in the open and non-judgement platform.

You are blessed to have a loyal girlfriend. Many are driven to CTB due to relationship problems.

 

[Mr2005]

I know so it's easy for them to wonder what my problem is. Well numerous. If a girlfriend can fix it there's hope for you if she can't you're screwed.

 

[Death.]

At the end of the day we all end up dead anyway so suicide doesn't really need justification. You can decide to die "just because" if you want to. The ultimate destination is still death and 1000 years from now it really won't matter how you died.

 

[Mr2005]

A very Terminator philosophy

 

[lostangel]

I'm sorry you're in this predicament. I think I should share my thoughts on this. Your cat will forget your existence as another user said. Your gf will eventually move on and forget about I think. It's human nature to move on and she will eventually.

I'm sorry if this isn't the best piece of advice. Best of luck though.

 

[Mr2005]

The cat comment actually made me laugh.

 

[LMLN]

I'm so sorry you are struggling. I think definitely dont get her pregnant if you can help it. It will just make your situation so much more difficult.
I hope you can find a way to go on. But we are here to listen either way. ❤

 

[voyager]

Hm, not sure what kinda cats you guys have had, but mine certainly never forgot me after two days. Same for dogs. One couldn't go on holidays, if that were so. Nono. When we moved, our dog, who was around seven, had to be quarantined for six months. He didn't forget us and would be ecstatic when we'd visit. Tbh, haven't even had a pet because of this very issue for nine years. I simply couldn't leave them behind.

Nor kids. So, if you do have one, Mr2005, you're are indeed grounded for a long time (tbh life). Do I understand correctly that your girlfriend is indeed aware of the situation? That she may have to raise the child on her own? A lot of "normal" people seem to think it's just bad patch.

Thing is, you don't seem to want a child anyway, nor can one decide for the child how he/she will react to losing you as a parent, thus in my opinion, I honestly wouldn't do it unless you can seriously commit for that timeframe without doubt. This way you'll still have freedom of choice and not necessarily hurt anyone else. As for your girlfriend, if she is indeed aware, she actually sounds like a great girl, but might have to decide what is more important to her. Living with you alone until/if it happens, or try for a family with someone else.

It's tragic. When one is on the path, one pretty much avoids all commitments that make life worth living because of the consequences when one might end it, so one might as well just die already, because one has nothing to live for. What a terrible cycle and conundrum. Hope you find the right decision for you and all involved.

 

[R_N]

Reason: Health issues.
Reason not to: None.

 

[ghostspace]

I watched a video of a cat who became anorexic and depressed after its owner abandoned it. After watching that, it fucked me up and I've been trying to get my cats to be as attached to my sister as they are to me.

My reason for leaving is that my life is not sustainable with BPD. I can't stand the isolation and I can't risk having any kind of relationships because it hurts me so much and I might accidentally hurt them.

Reasons for staying are my cats. I knew it when I adopted them, like, 'shit, now I can't kill myself.'

 

[PainfulGut]

Very often it's not that the cat/pet would miss you, though I'm sure they would, but that you have a responsibility to them and care for them and without sticking around to see their last days you can't know how they ended up. I suppose that, on a larger scale, is a reason for many to live - to see how the things they care about will end. My cat is a reason to live because she is mine to take care of, and because she brings me a tiny measure of joy in a numb world. My family and friends are the same for the same reasons, obligation and to keep them happy.

Other than that, the chance I might get better? I know it's possible but I don't know how long I can suffer and wait. My mind battles against me and it's impossible to imagine a good future no matter how logical.

 

[SugarbushMtn]

Only reason not to is son.