Discussion Reasons for ctb that are more justifiable than others?

[ilvgore]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

Then they're probably not. Only you can answer that. Most likely, all you need is time to heal.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Generally speaking I don't like seeing breakups as the reason people are on here. Some problems don't heal or can't be solved but more often than not time fixes that one.

 

[Bear1234]

I say this with love, you will get past heartbreak if that is your reason. Don't opt outta life for that. There is more good coming your way.

 

[CatLvr]

I think so. BUT ... That is based on MY life experiences and nobody else's. So I don't judge. The only thing I would (and have done) is encourage someone to wait a few days. If you want to, it's not gonna hurt -- figuratively speaking -- to give it a bit and see if you still feel as strongly as you do in the moment.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Generally, I believe that most reasons for wanting to be dead is equally valid with each other due to how we never consented into existence in the first place. That said, I do believe that there are a few reasons which are less valid than others such as not being a good enough utility towards society or dealing with a heartbreak

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Not knowing what kind of "heartbreak" you're referring to, and this is stricly ONLY my opinion, I don't feel heartbreak is a valid ctb reason. Nearly everyone goes through it, probably even multiple times. No doubt it sucks, but every (love) heartbreak I've had, I've gotten over in time, as soon as the increased levels of oxytocin, dopamine, and norepinephrine hormones that create that love "feeling" subside, back to the pre-love levels. It can take years in extreme cases. It did for me. All you can do is put your head down and plow through the misery. And it doesn't hurt if you have a good support network, too, like close friends and family. Of course, others will have different opinions. I only gave you mine.

 

[zengiraffe]

If any of us had to live in the same conditions people lived in 500 years ago we would kill ourselves. People 500 years in the future would kill themselves if they had to live in the conditions we're currently living in. It's all subjective.

 

[dying flower]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

I am 67, married twice with 5 sons and l have had and seen a lot of heartache along the way. Even with all the times hearts have been broken those people are still here and are living great lives. I know it's been said over and over but time is a great healer and this too shall pass

 

[Alatus_Nemeseos]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

Words I live by is that they'll always be someone worst off than you and someone better off than you.

No one has the right to invalidate your choice. But I will say generally speaking those who fall so far to ctb do so when they feel there's truly is no option left and/or tend to reach past the point where they're no longer able to endure the pain and suffering they're going through. Pain can come from many sources but it still hurts regardless how and we all have different breaking points where enough is enough.

If it was a breakup you went through I am sorry to hear that and I hope you're able to manage okay <3

 

[Timothy7dff]

Not knowing what kind of "heartbreak" you're referring to, and this is stricly ONLY my opinion, I don't feel heartbreak is a valid ctb reason. Nearly everyone goes through it, probably even multiple times. No doubt it sucks, but every (love) heartbreak I've had, I've gotten over in time, as soon as the increased levels of oxytocin, dopamine, and norepinephrine hormones that create that love "feeling" subside, back to the pre-love levels. It can take years in extreme cases. It did for me. All you can do is put your head down and plow through the misery. And it doesn't hurt if you have a good support network, too, like close friends and family. Of course, others will have different opinions. I only gave you mine.

I never got over breakups. Each one took a huge toll on my life. I don't even date any more. That being said, I don't think that it's a valid reason for CTB.

CTB should be for when you've exhausted all your options and it's not possible to exist without agony. I also believe SI is severely diminished when you truly have nothing left.

 

[rozeske]

Be it for living or dying, don't seek others validations. It's your life. Do it for you and only yourself. Do what feels right to you and what makes sense to you. It's ok to ask for others opinions or support but at the end of the day, be the only judge of the validity of your decisions. Be the decider of the life that only you will end up living or leaving. No one will experience things from your perspective.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I never got over breakups. Each one took a huge toll on my life. I don't even date any more. That being said, I don't think that it's a valid reason for CTB.

CTB should be for when you've exhausted all your options and it's not possible to exist without agony. I also believe SI is severely diminished when you truly have nothing left.

Really? Never? You mean you still pine for past partners? I can't imagine that. I'm sorry that you do. It's not supposed to work that way but, hey, I guess everyone is truly different. I definitely agree with you about the SI. I sure hope that's the case. Honestly, I don't see how there could be any SI when you're at your all-time lowest, rock-bottom place. But, I've been fooled before.

I quit dating, too, after my last break-up with my fiancé. I guess I did try a "couple" times after that, but my heart wasn't in it. I definitely don't pine for my ex, though. I honestly loathe her for all the bs she pulled. Maybe all the shit she did helped me to reach that point.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I believe it's up to the individual as it's their existence. Personally I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, I don't see any value to suffering in this meaningless, pointless existence and I simply don't wish to experience anything at all, I just don't believe existence to be a desirable state in general, I wish I have the option to just permanently fall asleep when I wish to.

 

[sugarb]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

It's subjective. That said the "popular" ranking of most to least legitimate is probably something like-

1. Terminal illness (Seen as reasonable by most)
2. For a cause, sacrifice for others (Can be seen as not only reasonable but honorable under select circumstances, but those are rare)
3. Impossible or nearly impossible to fix issues that severely decrease QoL like hard to treat pain, severe disability, etc. (A bit less reasonable; many will say you ought to push through.)

(Gap here. Most motives below this aren't acceptable to most people at all.)

4. Philosophical reasons (Could be seen as semi-reasonable if you seem mentally well but still thought of as very weird/deviant and potentially as evidence of mental illness.)
5. Semi-fixable issues that decrease QoL such as comparatively less severe disabilities and mental illnesses, poverty, treatable pain, loneliness, bullying, burdening others, trauma, etc (Mostly seen as unacceptable.)
6. Going through a difficult moment that most likely can be recovered from; breakups, death of a loved one you, a layoff, etc. (More or less universally seen as unacceptable.)

(Another gap here. I don't think even people on here would condone #7.)

7. Pure impulse due to some kind of mental condition.

edit: mind you this is just an estimate of how legitimate different "tiers" of suicide motivation are generally viewed. I personally only tick #4 and #5 (mostly #4) so I'm not in much position to criticize others' motives lol

That said you should probably consider if your motivation is really reason enough; one breakup seems like a bit much to CTB over. I had a friend attempt after a breakup and she's very glad she failed and is happily dating someone else now

 

[Timothy7dff]

Really? Never? You mean you still pine for past partners? I can't imagine that. I'm sorry that you do. It's not supposed to work that way but, hey, I guess everyone is truly different. I definitely agree with you about the SI. I sure hope that's the case. Honestly, I don't see how there could be any SI when you're at your all-time lowest, rock-bottom place. But, I've been fooled before.

I quit dating, too, after my last break-up with my fiancé. I guess I did try a "couple" times after that, but my heart wasn't in it. I definitely don't pine for my ex, though. I honestly loathe her for all the bs she pulled. Maybe all the shit she did helped me to reach that point.

I don't think about past partners. The pain of breakups is just not worth the relationships for me. I'm super sensitive. I broke up with a girl that I didn't even like that much and cried all day every day for two weeks. Just pure agony.

"My heart wasn't in it". That's me, too. . At this point, I'm so sick that I can't work or date anyways, so it's irrelevant. Also, when I was young, I used to be able to attract hot girls. Now.....not-so-much.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

[PS: Idk if this will make sense cuz I'm writing this at midnight energy]
My 2 cents on the matter are that there's no "absolute right" or "outright wrong" reason. What can make a difference though is whether or not the decision was impulsive. Although even if someone acts on impulse, I don't think it'd be necessary on them because no one CTB out of nowhere as it's always the result of severe discomfort of oneself towards themselves or other things/people. Sure, they may be situations in which the general average public would say CTB was "more justifiable" but can they really decide what's right for someone else? I think in those cases what really matters is how the person feels rather than what others think.

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

Every reason can be valid. That being said, I hope most people try to use every resource before they try to CTB. Some things can be worked through while others can't. But even "fixable" problems can be fatal if the person doesn't want to try to get better. Heartbreak can be so incredibly deep that sometimes there's another issue hidden in it. If there's truly nothing more to it though, I think you'll be ok in the end. Let me try to put it a different way, every reason for wanting to CTB is completely valid, but actually going through with it should be a last resort. I hope you the best of luck with whatever path you choose for yourself.

 

[Davey40210]

I agree. Every reason can be valid. Also a breakup.

In my case it is also because of a breakup. But I have the added problem that I have experienced the same thing on the last few breakups. Meaning that I fall hopelessly in love and then I self destruct the relationship. I do everything for them to leave me. And then I try desperately to get them back. Until eventually they give up on the push-pull and I am left heartbroken.

My abusive childhood in combination with some mental problem I still haven't figured out (autism?) is simply causing me to destroy every relationship I have.

So its not really about the breakup. Its about what's behind the breakup. And about what the future holds. And for me its just more pain.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Personally, I think every reason is perfectly valid. No one chose to be born, so no one is obligated to stay. Bad break ups, losing your job, stubbing your toe, all equal in my eyes. Although, I would wonder why one stubbing their toe would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

[badtothebone]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

My ex used to say " you have everything , I'm giving you everything any woman can die for" but I left him anyway. Same thing with my child he had everything any child will dream about, but he wasn't happy he didn't love us enough to stay. It's subjective " what makes you leave, might be the reason for others to stay".

 

[kkamasal]

Why should it be justified? there may be no reason to die like humans were born. It is strange to think that there should be a strong reason to die no one can replace or understand their sadness or pain the reason is only for oneself

 

[ladylazarus4]

I hesitate to invalidate people but there are problems that are reliably fixable (or that, in reasonable time, will certainly be fixed) and other problems that are persistent, unendurable, etc. I think everyone should first attempt to get help or help themselves before CTB.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

I think it is not about the specific reasons, but rather about how much pain and unbearable suffering, if any, those problems cause to that specific individual. And also about whether at least some time can pass and solve those problems, or whether it is possible to help the person and solve those problems with medical, social and other similar kind of help available at current time in history.

Or in other words, if something causes you constant pain and suffering, there is no way to make it better with current knowledge about the world, and it is not possible to find any practical help for you, not even after months of trying, then your problems should likely be considered as valid as a terminal illness when it comes to wishing for access to a peaceful and dignified death.

 

[sometimesoon]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

what is valid is that you make the choice, and you have selt autonomy on what you plan to do and when you plan to exit. There is no such thing as a better reason than another - it really how it resonates to you - and can you justify it for yourself

 

[Lycoreco]

Would be a heartbreak as bad as someone with a terminal illness?
Is it all just subjective?
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I'm afraid that my reasons are not valid enough..

Personally I wouldn't, as i'm sure a lot of us know from first hand experience, time does in fact make it better. But even then, it doesn't go away fully depending on how bad it was. But hey, it's your life not mine. Choose what you feel is right, and don't act on whims <3