Venting Realizing that it will never get better

[Blackroom_57]

Well I've officially lost all hope. I've been sick for years and I now know for a fact that things will never get better. Perhaps I will kill myself soon. I have SN mixed with water in a bottle with me at all times. I don't even care about anything anymore. I just want my agony to stop. I have always regretted not going through with it in the past. I wish my past attempts succeeded.
A suicide attempt occupies only a fraction of one's life. Then it's peace and tranquility forever. It's all I want.

 

[FuneralCry]

Being free from this world is all that I want as well, there is nothing more ideal than permanent non existence as those who have left this world have no worries or concerns. I do believe that staying alive is only prolonging suffering and I see life itself as just being an unnecessary burden. Your feelings of wanting to escape from it all are understandable. Existing can certainly be painful. I wish you freedom.

 

[Smart No More]

I'm sick too so can identify with your helpless feelings.

Just a heads up - I don't know a lot about SN but when it's mixed in water it has a shorter shelf life from what I've picked up. Also it's a great idea to drink it on a whim. Best used following a fasting period with accompanying meds for symptomatic relief.

Only mentioning this because the thought of you accidentally making things even more unbearable for yourself is not a nice one.

 

[Blackroom_57]

I'm sick too so can identify with your helpless feelings.

Just a heads up - I don't know a lot about SN but when it's mixed in water it has a shorter shelf life from what I've picked up. Also it's a great idea to drink it on a whim. Best used following a fasting period with accompanying meds for symptomatic relief.

Only mentioning this because the thought of you accidentally making things even more unbearable for yourself is not a nice one.

Where did you read that is has a shorter half life when it's mixed in water?

 

[Smart No More]

Where did you read that is has a shorter half life when it's mixed in water?

You read it wrong...

Shelf life....

... not half life.

Storing it mixed in water isn't ideal from what I gather.
I think maybe it degrades to nitrate. I could be wrong. But there's a reason it's stored as a salt/powder and left sealed until used.

I made an error in my initial post too. I meant to say it "is not" a great idea to drink SN on a whim. Better to fast and use accompanying meds.

 

[freevoid]

The information is somewhere in the SN materials in the forum, re mixing in water. If not there then I've definitely seen it a few times in forums. I definitely would not store mixed with water as it is an oxidant - it means it reacts with oxygen, moisture and light and that will change its chemical composition. Store dry airtight, preferably in a mylar bag with oxygen absorbers and desiccants and in a cool dry cupboard. Only mis up when you plan to CTB or within the hour or two.

I'm in the same position with you re chronic health shit. It's my main reason for CTB. I'm sorry its come to this for you, I know how you feel.

 

[SarRy]

It sounds as though you've made up your mind. Consider what you can do and what life might hold for you. Know with a clear mind that which you do.

I hope you find peace.

 

[almaranthine]

I'm sorry that you have been dealing with chronic health issues for so long. I wish you peace and an end to your suffering. It's understandable that you would not want to continue to go on indefinitely, knowing that your health will not improve and only progressively worsen. Personally, I can't understand why "normal" people have such a hard time wrapping their minds around this concept. Bad health makes even the simplest things in life difficult and just existing day to day takes great tenacity and will power just to keep going. Some people are just tired of continuing to suffer knowing it won't stop. I truly don't understand why anyone wouldn't understand your reasoning and empathize. Take care

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It can't last as long mixed in water. Even the water would turn putrid after some time.

 

[leeloosnow]

pretty sure any sorta meds or chems degrade faster with heat, UV light, humidity. i have had a few such 'prep bottles' but i toss them after a day or two.