Help realizing i'm catastrophizing and how to mitigate that

[last.hummingbird]

Something I've become self aware of a little too late regarding my mental health is that I will sometimes blow problems way out of proportion to what they actually may be and tend to project my negative perception of myself onto people's opinions of me. Growing up I learned to be the person that didn't want to get in anyone's way and part of that sort of meant I often neglected to properly express and/or stand up for myself. A lot of the time, my negative assumptions turn out to be false. It's just been sort of difficult to manage and be self-aware of when I am in catastrophe mode. If I'm in a situation where depression is triggered it ends up not just making normal activities difficult, but my brain also goes to the worst possible outcome in almost every situation. I remembered today there are things in my life I can still be happy about even though things are feeling like they're going wrong or like I'm doing everything wrong, and I had a pretty okay day.

Looking back on my life, especially when I was a teen makes me realize I could be in a very different place if I hadn't been so deep in that frame of mind at such a critical time. With the way my circumstances were, I don't think I could have helped it without receiving critical support. But I also think I sort of blinded myself to my own potential, and in many ways, out of habit, I still do that. Like don't get me wrong, I think some problems I am dealing with may be very difficult to fix, or else I wouldn't be here typing this, but I'm trying to figure out strategies to deal with this.

 

[timf]

Sometimes we amplify things because it can make us feel heroic when we have to face them. Sometimes it can be the result of something like nutritional deficiencies such as Omega 3. Even sleep deficiencies can have an effect. That you recognize the problem is a huge step forward as you are in a position to research and conduct experiments to see what may help bring things more under control.

 

[monday?]

talking to people about them helps me with that and in general taking these thoughts out of my head and just writing them down in a journal or whatever and reading them again also helps to some degree. im not sure how to explain this but seeing the little things that torture me mentally from outside my own head makes them feel a lot less like the end of the world. idk if this is any use to you since my specific problem is that i'm too stuck in my own head but i think journaling always helps with a lot of things

 

[last.hummingbird]

Sometimes we amplify things because it can make us feel heroic when we have to face them. Sometimes it can be the result of something like nutritional deficiencies such as Omega 3. Even sleep deficiencies can have an effect. That you recognize the problem is a huge step forward as you are in a position to research and conduct experiments to see what may help bring things more under control.

I do have a health condition that could possibly contribute to this as well and have had deficiencies in the past, although I don't think they were/are the sole cause. All good points though.

 

[derpyderpins]

Something I've become self aware of a little too late regarding my mental health is that I will sometimes blow problems way out of proportion to what they actually may be and tend to project my negative perception of myself onto people's opinions of me. Growing up I learned to be the person that didn't want to get in anyone's way and part of that sort of meant I often neglected to properly express and/or stand up for myself. A lot of the time, my negative assumptions turn out to be false. It's just been sort of difficult to manage and be self-aware of when I am in catastrophe mode. If I'm in a situation where depression is triggered it ends up not just making normal activities difficult, but my brain also goes to the worst possible outcome in almost every situation. I remembered today there are things in my life I can still be happy about even though things are feeling like they're going wrong or like I'm doing everything wrong, and I had a pretty okay day.

Looking back on my life, especially when I was a teen makes me realize I could be in a very different place if I hadn't been so deep in that frame of mind at such a critical time. With the way my circumstances were, I don't think I could have helped it without receiving critical support. But I also think I sort of blinded myself to my own potential, and in many ways, out of habit, I still do that. Like don't get me wrong, I think some problems I am dealing with may be very difficult to fix, or else I wouldn't be here typing this, but I'm trying to figure out strategies to deal with this.

Well, you're on track because becoming self-aware is step one. Being self-aware, and the fact that you're examining the "why," that growing up you were conditioned a certain way, is very important in my experience, which sounds a little similar.

If I'm reading correctly, you know that this is a tendency of yours, but you still struggle to identify it in the moment. That makes sense.

For you, the distorted thoughts are something like "this is such a huge problem" when it isn't, or "this person must hate me" when they don't, or "I don't deserve to put my opinion forward because everyone agrees that I'm no good." That in turn gives you fear that lowers productivity and has a cyclical / snowball effect.

I know I've just restated what you already said, but to me, the analytic approach helps. One such negative script with distorted thoughts that I have had to work through deals with guilt. Guilt for not being enough, or not doing more, or reaching my "potential", or being tired, etc. The path to getting a grip on that was long, and it's not fully gone, but finally under a bit of control. It went something like:

1. Identify that there is an issue. (Too much guilt, causing snowballing issues rather than helping.)
2. Rip the self from the micro and observe the world around: accept that guilt is being felt for things that are not guilt-worthy.
3. Accept that it isn't just wrong perception, the thought itself is distorted. It's not isolated, it's pathological.
4. Identify patterns and triggers.
5. Attach the patterns and triggers to childhood or other experiences, slowly coming to understand that these patterns were formed at an early stage when the child was not in control and could not be at fault. (For me, this included diagnosis for mental health issues.)
6. Accept that this is damage, which is upsetting, but can be fixed.
7. Start identifying when the pattern has been triggered previously, resolve the feelings over those past incidents.
8. Start to be able to identify when a new episode is starting.
9. Learn how to properly cope once the new episode has been identified.

These things happen both in order and concurrently. (ie moving to the next does not mean the previous is permanently resolved.) But, still, you are asking about step 8, which means you've at least dipped your toes into everything before it. Plenty of people never get past 1, because this is hard work.

So I think you should pat yourself on the back and not be too frustrated that you haven't fully fixed this yet. It will be like practicing any skill: get a little better at a time. Have some setbacks, but realize results are attainable and keep the overall trend upward.