I feel so ready but keep pushing off CTB. Not sure why. Anyone else?
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hikikomorizombie
Ouch
- Jan 15, 2024
- 785
the only thing keeping me here is SI & fear :// i have my jumping spot picked out, instructions for my corpse typed up, playlist for the occasion made, & everything i wanna bring along w me packed. if i had a suicide buddy i think i'd be able to overcome it, but i don't. so just gotta stay stuck in purgatory till i can finally get past it
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That's good you can give yourself the time you need to get past it.the only thing keeping me here is SI & fear :// i have my jumping spot picked out, instructions for my corpse typed up, playlist for the occasion made, & everything i wanna bring along w me packed. if i had a suicide buddy i think i'd be able to overcome it, but i don't. so just gotta stay stuck in purgatory till i can finally get past it
Yes.
I've never killed anyone and I've never died, it's intense to combine the two experiences, it's not easy.
I suspect I'd have done it by now with better methods available but it's a struggle I'm afraid.
conejo triste
Researching
- Aug 12, 2023
- 35
I lean on the fence a lot. I don't want to live but I don't want to die as in ctb. I wish I could just press a button and leave this world but like everything, I have to do it all myself. I think society has conditioned me into being a mindless worker to the point where I'm putting aside ctb because I have meaningless priorities such as work.Until we are ready it's not our time.
No matter how much people say about hating life, wanting to die etc etc, it's all meaningless until we are truly ready.
It's not cowardice, suicide is always the last resort, it's in the name. Until there then is always a glimmer of hope of recovery.
Well said. The problem is just what it takes to recover and who will be supporting you and who will cause you a thounsand more problems because they don't give a shit. I feel I have to decide between two god-awful ways.
Major Tom
I found heaven in hell
- Feb 24, 2024
- 71
I only feel happiness and relief towards CTB.
Already tested partial hanging in psych ward, and it felled exiting.
I tried 3 times, where i almost fainted, then backed off, because i was giving psych ward a chance and i knew that i would't have had the time for the execution.
Also got busted after the last attempt, now sitting in max security 1/1 observation
Does this mean im ready?Similar threads
