Help Ready to leave,but must be sure

[Borderline_]

Hi guys. My English is not very good, but I will try to tell you about my problem, and maybe you can help me with advice.
I have bipolar disorder and sociophobia. My social life at school was hell
At 15 I got a severe infection. Spent in intensive care 27 days. After This, I tried to recover for 4 years. It was the hardest time of my life. In the first half of the year, I learned to walk and read again.
At 20 due to improper withdrawal of Zyprexa I got akathisia and respiratory dyskinesia ( 1st psychiatric drug I was agreed to take )
I live in a country where the average salary is $ 130
So you can imagine what I went through.
About 5 neurologists. 7 psychiatrists. Nothing...
Brain abnormalities were visible on an MRI scan due to an old infection, but no one could find a reason.
Choking and suffocation 24/7. when I realized that I have nothing to lose, I went to other countries without money. Sleeping on the street. Visiting ER without insurance/
I was arrested and placed in a psychiatric hospital in Italy.my visa expired at that time. Without money. No Documents. Choking every second day after day. Without family. I've almost became an animal that's not worried about today and tomorrow.
that's what happened next:
Nitrazepam, i met one angel who helped me stay in Italy. I would like to tell you a beautiful love story, but in my case it horrible nightmare kind of "Benzobuddies."
As a result, with what I was left ... Insomnia. neuropathic pain. frontal epilepsy.Isolation.and madness/ (Choking feeling that returned 3 days ago).90% of my time I spending in the bed .My iq most likely dropped by 50 percent, which is more obvious if you look at the style of my writing.
So sorry if i wrote too much.
now regarding the method.
I must say right away that I have no opportunity to get N. Same for the methods of death out of bed. or some some open place as ocean.
What can i get :
Oxy 80mg OC - 20 tbl
Lorazepam ( Ativan ) 2mg - 50tbl
Zopiclone 7.5mg - 10tbl
and that fkn poison Quetiapine 300tblts
Any Anti Epileptic meds.
What do you think? i have everything besides Oxy which will cost me around 1000$ ( YES.... )

,

 

[zherhk]

I'm sorry you had been through all of that.
I hope someone with knowledge about those meds and their reliability can help you.
We can't actually suggest you a method, but you can read what most people here decide to exit with.
Ps: recently some users posted a reading that discuss methods.

 

[Borderline_]

I'm sorry you had been through all of that.
I hope someone with knowledge about those meds and their reliability can help you.
We can't actually suggest you a method, but you can read what most people here decide to exit with.
Ps: recently some users posted a reading that discusses methods.

Yes, I absolutely understand that. I Have been reading this forum for a week now. But unfortunately there is not much information about oxycodone. I am very afraid of problems with the Law, so only one source of oxy i have and it is very expensive. Perhaps someone knows and can hint or write in PM, maybe there is **better way** to spend my last money..
Edited :
Oh yes I found in the search. Thanks

 

[sleepy dog]

We can't actually suggest you a method

We can suggest a method.

 

[Quarky00]

That is hard to absorb. List of conditions (and situations) is too much.. Your English and IQ are fine :)

I'm not familiar with opioids, others are. But I felt obliged to somehow try. According to some research:
"From oxycodone overdoses, 58% ingested immediate release (IR) and 42% ingested sustained release (SR). The median ingested dose of IR oxycodone was 70 mg (40–100), compared to 240 mg (80–530) for SR. Benzodiazepines were the most frequent co-ingested drug in 38% cases."

--> Looks like 500mg oxycodone SR is fatal

Maybe 8 x 80 mg pills are enough. I don't know. 1000$ is A LOT.

 

[jgm63]

note : If you want to talk to anyone privately (instead of posting on threads), then you can use "PM" (PM = personal message, a bit like sending someone an email)

You need to make at least 5 posts and need to have been active for at least 24 hours to get access.
If you don't know what to post, you can post in some of the "games" threads (see "offtopic" section).
Once you have PM access, when you hover the mouse pointer over a user name, you will see a "start conversation" button...

also note, this site also has a very good search function (and advanced search).

 

[Borderline_]

That is hard to absorb. List of conditions (and situations) is too much.. Your English and IQ are fine :)

I'm not familiar with opioids, others are. But I felt obliged to somehow try. According to some research:
"From oxycodone overdoses, 58% ingested immediate release (IR) and 42% ingested sustained release (SR). The median ingested dose of IR oxycodone was 70 mg (40–100), compared to 240 mg (80–530) for SR. Benzodiazepines were the most frequent co-ingested drug in 38% cases."

--> Looks like 500mg oxycodone SR is fatal

Maybe 8 x 80 mg pills are enough. I don't know. 1000$ is A LOT.

Thank you for understanding Quarky Since i am Opioid naive and have a hope what 800mg will be enough + mixing with benzos and z-drugs. I am even ready to go to another country in Europe where I can buy heroin or fentanyl without fear of being caught
I am not sure that I will be able to find money again . Not to mention the torture that may await me after this. I am absolutely ready to find a peace. If nothing follows after death, then what is the point of all this torture. Although I can not say 100% that I am sure that there is nothing else after death. But I hope that the creator, architect or center of everything can understand me. Heaven and hell can only exist if God is a real sadist a triumph of violence. I just think that if life happened once and never again, then it's like it never happened at all. No matter how good life was yesterday. For everyone, only the present moment is always important.I think that I and all people who suffer deserve to leave this life in a positive and calm manner. And dissolve myself into nothingness...

note : If you want to talk to anyone privately (instead of posting on threads), then you can use "PM" (PM = personal message, a bit like sending someone an email)

You need to make at least 5 posts and need to have been active for at least 24 hours to get access.
If you don't know what to post, you can post in some of the "games" threads (see "offtopic" section).
Once you have PM access, when you hover the mouse pointer over a user name, you will see a "start conversation" button...

also note, this site also has a very good search function (and advanced search).

Okey good to know.I actually do not want to confuse anyone with the PM **where it is easiest place to get fentanyl and heroin** .
But if someone knows a good place where you can find it. please...

 

[Quarky00]

Fentanyl should be more fatal and cheap . Hope others are more knowledgeable . Well written about life and death . In the meantime I hope you're doing ok, considering :) Feel free to share .