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[Funeralprincess]

I am new here and so happy I found this. My life is essentially ruined and I cannot take being here anymore. My family is abusive, I was raped, and I have mental issues. I then met the love of my life who I was with for years, but then he essentially abandoned me, telling me he would rather be with another mentally ill person and help them instead of help me, and he gaslit me and led me on for two years, making me think we'd be together again. That honestly harmed my health more because I was all that I had left. On top of that, my education isn't doing too well either. My friends have made clear they too, see me as a burden but when everyone needed things from me I was apparently "useful". I'm just trying to find the best method for me to CTB and I'm unsure of what to use and how to go about attaining things for it. I'd prefer something on the more peaceful side, like nitrogen but finding it in pure form has been so challenging for me here in the US

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people really are so cruel and I'm sorry that you have suffered so much. It sounds really awful what you have been through. Ctb really is so difficult and more than anything I wish that it is easier. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[dredd1981]

I am new here and so happy I found this. My life is essentially ruined and I cannot take being here anymore. My family is abusive, I was raped, and I have mental issues. I then met the love of my life who I was with for years, but then he essentially abandoned me, telling me he would rather be with another mentally ill person and help them instead of help me, and he gaslit me and led me on for two years, making me think we'd be together again. That honestly harmed my health more because I was all that I had left. On top of that, my education isn't doing too well either. My friends have made clear they too, see me as a burden but when everyone needed things from me I was apparently "useful". I'm just trying to find the best method for me to CTB and I'm unsure of what to use and how to go about attaining things for it. I'd prefer something on the more peaceful side, like nitrogen but finding it in pure form has been so challenging for me here in the US

I can empathise to a degree…..I had a mental breakdown in December and tried to eat my own gun….rather than support me, my wife decided to kick me while I was down…kicked me out of the house and told me I wasn't allowed in, told me we could get through it then one day showed up out of the blue to tell me it was over. I could maybe have gotten over the breakdown but to get hit with that and my wife, who I thought loved me, leaving me has just left me physically and emotionally fucked. Literally the only thing stopping me from ctb are my two dogs who would be left alone and confused if I did it….I'd like to think life will get better but I doubt it. Just goes to show the power that your so can have over your mental state……I really don't want to be in a position again where someone wields that amount of power over me

 

[outrider567]

I am new here and so happy I found this. My life is essentially ruined and I cannot take being here anymore. My family is abusive, I was raped, and I have mental issues. I then met the love of my life who I was with for years, but then he essentially abandoned me, telling me he would rather be with another mentally ill person and help them instead of help me, and he gaslit me and led me on for two years, making me think we'd be together again. That honestly harmed my health more because I was all that I had left. On top of that, my education isn't doing too well either. My friends have made clear they too, see me as a burden but when everyone needed things from me I was apparently "useful". I'm just trying to find the best method for me to CTB and I'm unsure of what to use and how to go about attaining things for it. I'd prefer something on the more peaceful side, like nitrogen but finding it in pure form has been so challenging for me here in the US

You can PM me for Nitrogen sources if you want

 

[Funeralprincess]

You can PM me for Nitrogen sources if you want

I try to message you but then it says I'm not allowed to perform that action. Ugh frustrating

You can PM me for Nitrogen sources if you want

Hey could you possibly email the resources to me? I just can't message you here since it won't allow me to.

 

[outrider567]

I try to message you but then it says I'm not allowed to perform that action. Ugh frustrating

Hey could you possibly email the resources to me? I just can't message you here since it won't allow me to.

ok

 

[Eternal🌈Rainbow]

I know how devastating it is to lose the one person who was keeping you alive, "all you have left" as you said, and even more painful if he/she leaves you on purpose, abandons you. It's betrayal actually. For me it's being unbearable; I'm going crazy. I don't want to die, but it's the only way out of this hellish pain. I'm thinking of nitrogen as the way out too.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and are suffering so much. I wish you the best, whatever that means... I guess it's just "I wish you stopped hurting", "I wish pain ended".

 

[Funeralprincess]

Yep he was literally the perfect man for me. I broke up with him in a bad bipolar state but tried to work it out (this is where things get VERY fucked up) for TWO years, he led me on to believe we would try again and that he understood it was my mental illness. Turns out, he was just stringing me along and I am psychologically wrecked because he was all that I had. He basically admitted I'm a burden then told me he would date another sick person and he all that they need…. I have been destroyed ever since and I'm sorry you know the feeling. The pain truly is horrible because I was there for him at his worst but when my disease did what it did, he fucked with my feelings and is now leaving. My illness got in the way and I was actually diagnosed with the physical condition known as broken heart syndrome. It hurts… all of it hurts and I'm sorry you're going through hurt too. It's too much to live with honestly

I can empathise to a degree…..I had a mental breakdown in December and tried to eat my own gun….rather than support me, my wife decided to kick me while I was down…kicked me out of the house and told me I wasn't allowed in, told me we could get through it then one day showed up out of the blue to tell me it was over. I could maybe have gotten over the breakdown but to get hit with that and my wife, who I thought loved me, leaving me has just left me physically and emotionally fucked. Literally the only thing stopping me from ctb are my two dogs who would be left alone and confused if I did it….I'd like to think life will get better but I doubt it. Just goes to show the power that your so can have over your mental state……I really don't want to be in a position again where someone wields that amount of power over me

It's the worst when loved ones abandon us. It truly is very painful

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I try to message you but then it says I'm not allowed to perform that action. Ugh frustrating

You cannot send or receive PMs until 10 or so posts.

Also, I highly recommend that you edit your post above and remove your email address. It isn't usually a good idea to put email addresses out there like that.

 

[may13]

I try to message you but then it says I'm not allowed to perform that action. Ugh frustrating

Hey could you possibly email the resources to me? My email is …. I just can't message you here since it won't allow me to

I would delete that. Seriously.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I would delete that. Seriously.

Speaking of which, you should edit it out of the quoted part in your repsonse.

 

[may13]

Speaking of which, you should edit it out of the quoted part in your repsonse.

Thank you. New here too, didn't cross my mind. Good lookin' out!