purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
:halo: I want to try drowning in a nice clean bathtub by overdosing on Everclear... not because it's tasty but because it takes less to OD. I'm sure I can add in kool aid cherry or something. I almost completely drowned when I was about 3 years old in a pool when my float thing flipped over and my legs were in the air, according to my Mom... she jumped in about a minute afterwards running from the house.
I do remember drowning physically... it didn't really hurt, there was pressure inside my lungs but it was just uncomfortable, not horrible, more like irritating. Then slowly as there was blackness around the edges of my vision that continued growing. Then the next thing was waking up with my Mom freaking out. I love her but now she has dementia and probably won't notice much that I'm gone. My sister is going to throw me out on the dangerous streets after only being here a bit over a week. She was the last family member I *thought* cared.
Not going to be homeless as a woman, no way. Plus with PTSD it would be total hell. No thank you. I guess tough love results in suicide if you do it to people that have PTSD. Anyway... I guess I have to get a Motel room, how frustrating and impersonal. I was hoping I could just play ABBA by candlelight but I guess that will take to long.

ANYONE have any suggestions on how to KEEP the ALCOHOL down??? (I never drink because it gives me headaches.... and i throw up easy)
Thank You Everyone.
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Idk but I'm sure you'll puke it up. I'm gonna hang myself because it's certain. Yeah, I have ptsd too, tough love just makes us worse
 
purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
Idk but I'm sure you'll puke it up. I'm gonna hang myself because it's certain. Yeah, I have ptsd too, tough love just makes us worse

:aw: i know things are really hard, but i would be scared to do that... i've read people can inadvertently break their necks and still live afterwards? Not my business, just sayin...
 
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Blackjack

Blackjack

I’ll be watching...
Aug 6, 2019
777
If you easily throw up alcohol, you will most likely throw up Everclear. You might want to consider a method that doesn't involve ingesting toxic levels of anything if you're prone to throwing up.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
drowning in a bathtub is definitely possible, but you need to be COMPLETELY passed out, and alcohol in such large doses is very hard to keep down, specially with no tolerance.

people usually die this way with benzos and opioids, benzos have a similar effect to alcohol but they don't give you any nausea and some last way longer than alcohol so they are more suited for this.

still, there are better methods to use, drowning in a bathtub is kinda hard to pull off because of the body reaction.
 
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purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
:)) Thank you Blackjack. I drank Everclear years ago (wow, rough) but ironically i had less of a hangover from it..... maybe because it is 'grain' alcohol (corn bread anyone?)
I'm so not savvy on items to prevent puking it back up... i think i will try mixing it with Dr Pepper (He is my doctor now since the others failed)
drowning in a bathtub is definitely possible, but you need to be COMPLETELY passed out, and alcohol in such large doses is very hard to keep down, specially with no tolerance.

people usually die this way with benzos and opioids, benzos have a similar effect to alcohol but they don't give you any nausea and some last way longer than alcohol so they are more suited for this.

still, there are better methods to use, drowning in a bathtub is kinda hard to pull off because of the body reaction.

Thank you Fragile :halo: You helped me think more about that. What other methods do you think there are I could consider please? I've tried a few items... long ago vodka mixed with neuroleptic pills gave me an NDE at age 17 and it was marvelous. Been trying to escape over and over again ever since...
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
Thank you Fragile :halo: You helped me think more about that. What other methods do you think there are I could consider please? I've tried a few items... long ago vodka mixed with neuroleptic pills gave me an NDE at age 17 and it was marvelous. Been trying to escape over and over again ever since...

there are plenty methods in this forum to consider, i'm looking into carbon monoxide and amitriptyline since i don't have access to fentanyl or N, i would much rather go with the last two, but i'm also comfortable with the others.

there is also the exit bag but it requires quite a bit of preparation, seems really good if you can get all that it needs.
 
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
:aw: i know things are really hard, but i would be scared to do that... i've read people can inadvertently break their necks and still live afterwards? Not my business, just sayin...
You can't break your neck on short suspension. I have no choice, I either hang myself or live in hell
 
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purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
You can't break your neck on short suspension. I have no choice, I either hang myself or live in hell

Then I'm wishing for you whatever brings you strength and peace in whatever way you define that ... Hugs

36C30F6B 2D15 4040 9E29 F0246654DD7B
 
Trainwreck

Trainwreck

Student
Sep 11, 2019
196
If you easily throw up alcohol, you will most likely throw up Everclear. You might want to consider a method that doesn't involve ingesting toxic levels of anything if you're prone to throwing up.

I've considered the benzo-hope you-slip-under-the-water-and-drown method, but I'd probably get unlucky and stay above water and be found.
 
dysphoria

dysphoria

Member
Aug 4, 2019
59
:halo: I want to try drowning in a nice clean bathtub by overdosing on Everclear... not because it's tasty but because it takes less to OD. I'm sure I can add in kool aid cherry or something. I almost completely drowned when I was about 3 years old in a pool when my float thing flipped over and my legs were in the air, according to my Mom... she jumped in about a minute afterwards running from the house.
I do remember drowning physically... it didn't really hurt, there was pressure inside my lungs but it was just uncomfortable, not horrible, more like irritating. Then slowly as there was blackness around the edges of my vision that continued growing. Then the next thing was waking up with my Mom freaking out. I love her but now she has dementia and probably won't notice much that I'm gone. My sister is going to throw me out on the dangerous streets after only being here a bit over a week. She was the last family member I *thought* cared.
Not going to be homeless as a woman, no way. Plus with PTSD it would be total hell. No thank you. I guess tough love results in suicide if you do it to people that have PTSD. Anyway... I guess I have to get a Motel room, how frustrating and impersonal. I was hoping I could just play ABBA by candlelight but I guess that will take to long.


ANYONE have any suggestions on how to KEEP the ALCOHOL down??? (I never drink because it gives me headaches.... and i throw up easy)
Thank You Everyone.

You'd have a better time shooting up heroin or ketamine (if you want a trippy drowning), it doesn't sound like you'd be able to keep enough alcohol down to be lethal, could just crawl out of the bath on instinct and wake up with brain damage and enormous hospital bills. As you fall asleep, the water going into your lungs could set off a gag reflex, it's pretty risky. Have heard of people taking the alcohol rectally https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_enema but presumably that stings quite a lot, and still a very unreliable and not peaceful way to go with drowsy drowning. If someone used alcohol rectally, they might as well drink as much as they can too, as you're not going to vomit out of your rectum if it's too much and it increases the overdose either way.

Antiemetics include domperidone, ondansetron, metoclopramide, and a bunch of antipsychotics. I think in the US domperidone is OTC, maybe metoclopramide too, if you ask the pharmacist and say it's the only thing that helps your motion sickness or something, should be able to get one of the two. Ondansetron is more of an add-on used in chemo sickness so not OTC. Mirtazapine works the same as ondansetron, although it increases heart rate and makes you tired at the same time, so not ideal for most overdoses, but if your goal is to drown then that wouldn't matter as long as you can do the enema stuff without falling asleep. If your main goal is to die then this method leaves a lot of room for failure. I used to think life couldn't get any worse, like there was some limit, but it keeps drilling down to new depths of despair. Waking up in hospital after an overdose and being locked in a psychiatric ward only really helps people who weren't serious about their intentions from the beginning, for me it was an exercise in deception that carved out the last pieces of emotion I had left. And that was in a country which has a public healthcare system, not the kind of expenses you'd be liable for in the US.
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Then I'm wishing for you whatever brings you strength and peace in whatever way you define that ... Hugs

View attachment 16505
Thank you sweetheart. I don't think your method is bad, but maybe I would do heroin in the bathtub and drown that way...whatever I choose, I don't want to live through it
 
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Trainwreck

Trainwreck

Student
Sep 11, 2019
196
You'd have a better time shooting up heroin or ketamine (if you want a trippy drowning), it doesn't sound like you'd be able to keep enough alcohol down to be lethal, could just crawl out of the bath on instinct and wake up with brain damage and enormous hospital bills. As you fall asleep, the water going into your lungs could set off a gag reflex, it's pretty risky. Have heard of people taking the alcohol rectally https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_enema but presumably that stings quite a lot, and still a very unreliable and not peaceful way to go with drowsy drowning. If someone used alcohol rectally, they might as well drink as much as they can too, as you're not going to vomit out of your rectum if it's too much and it increases the overdose either way.

Antiemetics include domperidone, ondansetron, metoclopramide, and a bunch of antipsychotics. I think in the US domperidone is OTC, maybe metoclopramide too, if you ask the pharmacist and say it's the only thing that helps your motion sickness or something, should be able to get one of the two. Ondansetron is more of an add-on used in chemo sickness so not OTC. Mirtazapine works the same as ondansetron, although it increases heart rate and makes you tired at the same time, so not ideal for most overdoses, but if your goal is to drown then that wouldn't matter as long as you can do the enema stuff without falling asleep. If your main goal is to die then this method leaves a lot of room for failure. I used to think life couldn't get any worse, like there was some limit, but it keeps drilling down to new depths of despair. Waking up in hospital after an overdose and being locked in a psychiatric ward only really helps people who weren't serious about their intentions from the beginning, for me it was an exercise in deception that carved out the last pieces of emotion I had left. And that was in a country which has a public healthcare system, not the kind of expenses you'd be liable for in the US.

Domperidone is no longer allowed in the USA (although your doctor can fill out a bunch of forms to try to get an exception). Meto is legal, but I have a feeling it would be difficult to get a script without proof that you have gastroparesis. I have GP, and it's never been suggested as an option. My doctor "unofficially" suggested I order domperidone from an out of country online pharmacy.

Edit: forgot to mention, I've had 2 of my doctors prescribe me zofran and promethazine (their suggestion, not mine).
 
purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
Thank you sweetheart. I don't think your method is bad, but maybe I would do heroin in the bathtub and drown that way...whatever I choose, I don't want to live through it

You're nice...
i just read one of your other posts, i'm really sad that some bad person gave
You'd have a better time shooting up heroin or ketamine (if you want a trippy drowning), it doesn't sound like you'd be able to keep enough alcohol down to be lethal, could just crawl out of the bath on instinct and wake up with brain damage and enormous hospital bills. As you fall asleep, the water going into your lungs could set off a gag reflex, it's pretty risky. Have heard of people taking the alcohol rectally https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_enema but presumably that stings quite a lot, and still a very unreliable and not peaceful way to go with drowsy drowning. If someone used alcohol rectally, they might as well drink as much as they can too, as you're not going to vomit out of your rectum if it's too much and it increases the overdose either way.

Antiemetics include domperidone, ondansetron, metoclopramide, and a bunch of antipsychotics. I think in the US domperidone is OTC, maybe metoclopramide too, if you ask the pharmacist and say it's the only thing that helps your motion sickness or something, should be able to get one of the two. Ondansetron is more of an add-on used in chemo sickness so not OTC. Mirtazapine works the same as ondansetron, although it increases heart rate and makes you tired at the same time, so not ideal for most overdoses, but if your goal is to drown then that wouldn't matter as long as you can do the enema stuff without falling asleep. If your main goal is to die then this method leaves a lot of room for failure. I used to think life couldn't get any worse, like there was some limit, but it keeps drilling down to new depths of despair. Waking up in hospital after an overdose and being locked in a psychiatric ward only really helps people who weren't serious about their intentions from the beginning, for me it was an exercise in deception that carved out the last pieces of emotion I had left. And that was in a country which has a public healthcare system, not the kind of expenses you'd be liable for in the US.

You definitely know your stuff! Thank you for helping me understand more, although i'm laughing at the rectal part because i can only imagine how much i would mess that up. Seriously though, it was a very educational and thoughtful response. I'm also going to try your suggestion with a pharmacist, thank you. :hihi:

i have seen how the very humans that are convinced they are providing 'counseling' can be utterly and completely ignorant of reality. They preach stuff but then make mistakes that left me realizing that a dog is a better counselor. A friend is a better shrink. A song is a better therapy, apparently that has been many people's experiences.

This phrase of yours really moved me ... and surely others...

"I used to think life couldn't get any worse, like there was some limit, but it keeps drilling down to new depths of despair."
:'(
You're right. And it gets unbearable for me, for you, for so many of us. There's pain that affects the soul (depending on what you believe) and i know i personally become both frantic for escape and simultaneously, oddly falling back down inside myself like an exhausted & broken shadow.
i know we are all struggling for different reasons and i respect everyone's reasons.
i just want to say that even after my first day here, you all have been kind, even in the midst of your own pain.
To me that means there are good souls on here and i want to say thank you. :happy:


92D261ED 4A5C 4F89 B585 72746340248C
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Won't sleeping pills do it? Thought about it myself. Seems nice as far as dying goes
 
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purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
i think with the right mixture of pills (has to be more prescription strength??) plus alcohol then i know it's possible but so easy to fail or just end up sick for a day...
If only i knew for sure... :))
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Worse case scenario if it didn't work is it just didn't work. I think I'll try it before I jump off a bridge
 
purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
That's an excellent point. :happy:

Please be careful with bridges (actually just jumping in general) as i've read more than half the time people end up with broken bones, didn't succeed, and a few were paralyzed. Yikes.

Maybe i'm paranoid, but just sayin...
 
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Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
570
Hi There, Fellow PTSD sufferer here. Yes, I had no idea how fucked up this is till I got traumatized & yeah... being homless with something like this would be nuts.... Please be careful about your method... I don't know much about alcohol ... but I hope that as you progress in your search for peace you find something that will allieviate your suffering.
Huggzz
 

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