Venting reached out only to be shot down

[savoytruffle]

talked to my mum about how sorry i feel for myself and how much i hate my body, my fat gut that just won't go away, my hunch that makes me look like Quasimodo. basic fuckin stuff even a teenager can relate to, just for some motherly talk maybe some advice, if i ever told her everything it's a one way ticket to the psych ward forever

her response? "well, some day you're gonna have to get over all that"

why even bother? i don't even know why im crying right now, why waste tears over that like a child? she definitely thinks im being dramatic and maybe i am, maybe i can magically wake up one day and my brain will be fixed and i can talk to people without puking my guts out and poverty and homelessness won't hang over our shoulder anymore and i can study get my degree and get a job like a proper adult. and maybe the tooth fairy is real, and Santa too

i know saying i wish i were never born is edgy and dramatic but god how i can relate. and im too fucking scared to do it so i wish it was done for me instead. i look at the news at all the people dying and the stupidest part of me wishes i were them and it's so fucking horrible to think that, that they're so lucky to be dead, when did it all go like that, was i ever normal

 

[NoWayOut015]

I don't think you're "edgy and dramatic" at all and I can absolutely relate to your feelings. I often envy people who don't have to live anymore

I'm sorry you didn't get support from your mom, it's so invalidating to hear something like that

 

[Shirokuma]

That's horrendous. It's so even more isolating to try to reach out and then be rejected. It gives you a sense that the world is telling you that you will be made to suffer alone with no help or answer. That ultimately, you don't matter.
Recently I thought, that for many people, they don't take notice of the pain you're going through unless it's in some way outright obvious to them. Like for example, how we feel mentally should be somehow physically present to these people so that our pain can be valid. If there was some kind of bruise, cut or deformity. Then they might have some kind of noticeable reaction.
People lack empathy, understanding, experience or effort to help someone when there's someone suffering right in front of them.
It's even more of a shame that you were just looking for someone to soothe you when you were in pain. There was no expectation to solve anything just a simple acknowledgment would be enough to satisfy just something. Instead you ended up feeling as if you lost something.
It's so sorrowful to feel you would rather be dead than suffer these sensations. Though with both the situations and all the insensitivity surrounding your pain it's arguably a completely valid belief.

 

[FuneralCry]

I always envy those who no longer exist, I think that's a perfectly valid way to feel, as in non-existence there is no more suffering, I personally always view it as being preferable to not exist. But it's just the reality that many humans are very insensitive and won't even try to understand, they have a lack of compassion towards the suffering people go through, in fact humans very often just create even more suffering.

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm sorry your mom said that, some people just can't see others pain, if you need to talk my dms are always open

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Your mum should be supportive. It's horrible when parents don't listen to the problems of the children. I hope you can find peace.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Awww OP i'm so sorry you know the self loathing or self hating reminds me of someone. I know of a guy who daydream of having a slim wife but his wife is "fat" according to normal standards and I think it's a wrong word to describe yourself and not only that he himself is not "fit" according to the standards and I do feel sorry for him especially because he mentioned to me before on how he wished he was a bit lighter ( in complexion) etc oh I do remember that. At the time he was dating a caucasian woman so I guess that's where the insecurities came from and I do remember him saying Rihanna wasn't all that pretty but he did say Alicia Keys was beautiful. I do remember even my mum mentioning his wife's weight when she saw their picture but my mum has always been like that she always tell me to lose weight when I gained weight ( especially since 2019 my weight has been up and down due to a lot different variables). I do remember my mum saying he shouldn't comment on others looks when he looks like that. I do hope he can accept and love himself and stop the self hating like what I'm being accused of. It can't be easy and I'm going to show him this because he can relate to this so much.

This guy also had mummy issues ( I guess a lot of mums can be like that so I can totally empathise) that she even begged me to speak to him and you know I told her it wasn't my place to do so and all that but you know he is the type to do insert himself in other family's issues and he surely lack boundaries. I remember even his so called bestie saying oh this guy has always f?cked you over and he continues to do so and that was in 2018 and she said she knows the whole truth at all the shenanigans he had been doing behind my back and yes he is truly a nice guy! Mr nice guy!! What a victim he is!!

 

[gehlertjohansson@gm]

talked to my mum about how sorry i feel for myself and how much i hate my body, my fat gut that just won't go away, my hunch that makes me look like Quasimodo. basic fuckin stuff even a teenager can relate to, just for some motherly talk maybe some advice, if i ever told her everything it's a one way ticket to the psych ward forever

her response? "well, some day you're gonna have to get over all that"

why even bother? i don't even know why im crying right now, why waste tears over that like a child? she definitely thinks im being dramatic and maybe i am, maybe i can magically wake up one day and my brain will be fixed and i can talk to people without puking my guts out and poverty and homelessness won't hang over our shoulder anymore and i can study get my degree and get a job like a proper adult. and maybe the tooth fairy is real, and Santa too

i know saying i wish i were never born is edgy and dramatic but god how i can relate. and im too fucking scared to do it so i wish it was done for me instead. i look at the news at all the people dying and the stupidest part of me wishes i were them and it's so fucking horrible to think that, that they're so lucky to be dead, when did it all go like that, was i ever normal

i get this. and you are not stupid for thinking dead people are lucky, i think like that all the time. so sorry about your mom, and i feel the same, revealing everything to her is not an option - my own mum i mean, people can't handle a mindset like this and just throws more trauma at you. you are not alone. people are stupid and insensitive and you are in the right here.

 

[Archness]

Honestly rly reminds me of my own mother.

Telling her abt how I can't rly compete in this world and her responce was just "Just compete! Just be better then every1".

smh nonsense BS.