Venting Rape and being a hoe

[Exhausted1705]

When I was 11, I was wearing red pants and walked like a model. We were kids playing outside but I knew how to wink and drive the boys crazy.
When I was 17, I lost my virginity with and I didn't really care.

I have always had a curiousity towards sex.

When I was 19, I was raped for the first time.

20 raped the second time.

In between then filled myself with friends with benefits, I was a real hoe.

Things got worse when I had a bf who liked being a cuckold.

He made me feel comfortable and allowed me to explore my sexuality.
By now I was an insta baddie and advocate for the sexual liberation of women.

By February I wanted to be a porn star but I stopped before I did it.
I didn't care what people thought.

Anyway dropped out of Uni, relationship ended, tried to kill myself, insulted my family.

Thing is they don't belive my rapes. I had a manic episode and basically blew my life up and now I am miserable.

The only time I am happy is when I eat, or when I am sleeping.

I stay with my aunt and her son, I am gonna ctb with an extension cord on Friday.

I tried to think of a way to make my life better but man life is hard.

Sometimes I dream about falling in love and being happy despite being a slut. My brain makes me think that I could be loved, married, that some crazy man would love me, take care of me and never leave.

But the reality is lonely and empty.
I have sisters, I am a first born and I wish I had my life together but it's too late.

My aunt is going on an overnight date with her boyfriend, I am gonna wait for my cousin to sleep. Use the extension cord, wrap it around the door bell, throw it over. Step on the washing machine and jump of. My feet won't be touching the floor this time.

I really want to go. I can't live like this. My mom is dead, I saw her late at night, dressed in white.

I think she's saying it's okay if I want to go.

 

[who doesn't matter]

I don't know much about love. It's a thing that could never reach me. However, I do know a thing or two about acceptance. I do think someone can fall for you and that means accepting the "whole you." The contemporary form of acceptance extends only to those who are not "flawed." But that can't be slotted as love. Sorry about this dumb sermon. It's just a thought.

 

[Lordsudbury]

It must be a really high washing machine?? Or you are 2 feet tall?

I spent my twenties whoring around the world (I'm a man, 32). I slept with almost quadruple digits of girls and partners. It doesn't feel great now and I've had plenty of great, loving relationships too.

Don't define yourself by something like that. There's a lot of people out there and life is in constant change. I feel like I'm too late to get my life on track too but my mom became an internet celebrity after years of hardship at the age of 53.

There IS more.

But if you need the release because the pain is too much we understand that too. We're all here for the same reason.

Keep talking to us. Sometimes I call suicide hotlines 2 times a day for months now. It's still hard.

Wish you the best.

 

[Emily123]

i am really sorry .i also raped a number of times when i was a teenager

 

[Exhausted1705]

I don't know much about love. It's a thing that could never reach me. However, I do know a thing or two about acceptance. I do think someone can fall for you and that means accepting the "whole you." The contemporary form of acceptance extends only to those who are not "flawed." But that can't be slotted as love. Sorry about this dumb sermon. It's just a thought.

It's not dumb, I understand what you mean

i am really sorry .i also raped a number of times when i was a teenager

I am sorry for what happened to you

It must be a really high washing machine?? Or you are 2 feet tall?

I spent my twenties whoring around the world (I'm a man, 32). I slept with almost quadruple digits of girls and partners. It doesn't feel great now and I've had plenty of great, loving relationships too.

Don't define yourself by something like that. There's a lot of people out there and life is in constant change. I feel like I'm too late to get my life on track too but my mom became an internet celebrity after years of hardship at the age of 53.

There IS more.

But if you need the release because the pain is too much we understand that too. We're all here for the same reason.

Keep talking to us. Sometimes I call suicide hotlines 2 times a day for months now. It's still hard.

Wish you the best.

I am 1,67.
Jumping off the machine because it's next to the door and it will give me the opportunity to tie the extension cord properly before I jump off.

If you say there is more, then there is a possibility that you could still fix your life at 32.

I don't know if the talking will help, this is the end for me. I am 23 years old

 

[Linda]

When I was 11, I was wearing red pants and walked like a model. We were kids playing outside but I knew how to wink and drive the boys crazy.
When I was 17, I lost my virginity with and I didn't really care.

I have always had a curiousity towards sex.

When I was 19, I was raped for the first time.

20 raped the second time.

In between then filled myself with friends with benefits, I was a real hoe.

Things got worse when I had a bf who liked being a cuckold.

He made me feel comfortable and allowed me to explore my sexuality.
By now I was an insta baddie and advocate for the sexual liberation of women.

By February I wanted to be a porn star but I stopped before I did it.
I didn't care what people thought.

Anyway dropped out of Uni, relationship ended, tried to kill myself, insulted my family.

Thing is they don't belive my rapes. I had a manic episode and basically blew my life up and now I am miserable.

The only time I am happy is when I eat, or when I am sleeping.

I stay with my aunt and her son, I am gonna ctb with an extension cord on Friday.

I tried to think of a way to make my life better but man life is hard.

Sometimes I dream about falling in love and being happy despite being a slut. My brain makes me think that I could be loved, married, that some crazy man would love me, take care of me and never leave.

But the reality is lonely and empty.
I have sisters, I am a first born and I wish I had my life together but it's too late.

My aunt is going on an overnight date with her boyfriend, I am gonna wait for my cousin to sleep. Use the extension cord, wrap it around the door bell, throw it over. Step on the washing machine and jump of. My feet won't be touching the floor this time.

I really want to go. I can't live like this. My mom is dead, I saw her late at night, dressed in white.

I think she's saying it's okay if I want to go.

Slow down. First of all, you are not a slut. You have probably had fewer men than I have, and the world views me as a very successful, elderly, thoroughly respectable lady. I'm 67, but I had quite a lively time when I was younger. And if I could go back 50 years in time, I would do it all over again. Only more so. There is nothing wrong with sex. There is nothing wrong with sex with as many men as you want. "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may", as a 16th century poet put it. My husband knows, and doesn't care. Second, if you want "some crazy man" to love you then a good first first step is to start loving yourself. I can't tell you what should or should not do when your cousin is asleep, but I think you may be going too fast. He will be asleep again in the near future. If you wait, you will certainly get another chance before long. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

Yeah... I agree with Linda. Being 50 myself, I can tell you everyone I know, male and female, were hoes in their 20s. lol I thought that's what being young is for? I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but please don't be so hard on yourself just for living your life.

As for the rapes, unfortunately that is part of being a young female is that they tend to get taken advantage of and I've been there myself, as did several of my friends. Please don't put any negative feelings or blame on yourself for something that isn't your fault.

You are still so young and could have a very full life ahead of you, if you choose, if you can love yourself and let someone else love you.

 

[Exhausted1705]

Slow down. First of all, you are not a slut. You have probably had fewer men than I have, and the world views me as a very successful, elderly, thoroughly respectable lady. I'm 67, but I had quite a lively time when I was younger. And if I could go back 50 years in time, I would do it all over again. Only more so. There is nothing wrong with sex. There is nothing wrong with sex with as many men as you want. "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may", as a 16th century poet put it. My husband knows, and doesn't care. Second, if you want "some crazy man" to love you then a good first first step is to start loving yourself. I can't tell you what should or should not do when your cousin is asleep, but I think you may be going too fast. He will be asleep again in the near future. If you wait, you will certainly get another chance before long. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well.

I hear you.

 

[pringle6066]

When I was 11, I was wearing red pants and walked like a model. We were kids playing outside but I knew how to wink and drive the boys crazy.
When I was 17, I lost my virginity with and I didn't really care.

I have always had a curiousity towards sex.

When I was 19, I was raped for the first time.

20 raped the second time.

In between then filled myself with friends with benefits, I was a real hoe.

Things got worse when I had a bf who liked being a cuckold.

He made me feel comfortable and allowed me to explore my sexuality.
By now I was an insta baddie and advocate for the sexual liberation of women.

By February I wanted to be a porn star but I stopped before I did it.
I didn't care what people thought.

Anyway dropped out of Uni, relationship ended, tried to kill myself, insulted my family.

Thing is they don't belive my rapes. I had a manic episode and basically blew my life up and now I am miserable.

The only time I am happy is when I eat, or when I am sleeping.

I stay with my aunt and her son, I am gonna ctb with an extension cord on Friday.

I tried to think of a way to make my life better but man life is hard.

Sometimes I dream about falling in love and being happy despite being a slut. My brain makes me think that I could be loved, married, that some crazy man would love me, take care of me and never leave.

But the reality is lonely and empty.
I have sisters, I am a first born and I wish I had my life together but it's too late.

My aunt is going on an overnight date with her boyfriend, I am gonna wait for my cousin to sleep. Use the extension cord, wrap it around the door bell, throw it over. Step on the washing machine and jump of. My feet won't be touching the floor this time.

I really want to go. I can't live like this. My mom is dead, I saw her late at night, dressed in white.

I think she's saying it's okay if I want to go.

if you have any doubts or if you think there is any chance that your life could turn around, you should definitely give yourself time to really think this through.

i'm sorry your family didn't believe you about your previous rapes. just know that there are plenty of people, here especially, who understand the kind of pain those rapes inflicted upon you, and would be willing to listen and let you vent.

 

[Exhausted1705]

if you have any doubts or if you think there is any chance that your life could turn around, you should definitely give yourself time to really think this through.

i'm sorry your family didn't believe you about your previous rapes. just know that there are plenty of people, here especially, who understand the kind of pain those rapes inflicted upon you, and would be willing to listen and let you vent.

I am miserable. Thank you

 

[Fedrea]

When I was 11, I was wearing red pants and walked like a model. We were kids playing outside but I knew how to wink and drive the boys crazy.
When I was 17, I lost my virginity with and I didn't really care.

I have always had a curiousity towards sex.

When I was 19, I was raped for the first time.

20 raped the second time.

In between then filled myself with friends with benefits, I was a real hoe.

Things got worse when I had a bf who liked being a cuckold.

He made me feel comfortable and allowed me to explore my sexuality.
By now I was an insta baddie and advocate for the sexual liberation of women.

By February I wanted to be a porn star but I stopped before I did it.
I didn't care what people thought.

Anyway dropped out of Uni, relationship ended, tried to kill myself, insulted my family.

Thing is they don't belive my rapes. I had a manic episode and basically blew my life up and now I am miserable.

The only time I am happy is when I eat, or when I am sleeping.

I stay with my aunt and her son, I am gonna ctb with an extension cord on Friday.

I tried to think of a way to make my life better but man life is hard.

Sometimes I dream about falling in love and being happy despite being a slut. My brain makes me think that I could be loved, married, that some crazy man would love me, take care of me and never leave.

But the reality is lonely and empty.
I have sisters, I am a first born and I wish I had my life together but it's too late.

My aunt is going on an overnight date with her boyfriend, I am gonna wait for my cousin to sleep. Use the extension cord, wrap it around the door bell, throw it over. Step on the washing machine and jump of. My feet won't be touching the floor this time.

I really want to go. I can't live like this. My mom is dead, I saw her late at night, dressed in white.

I think she's saying it's okay if I want to go.

Do NOT call yourself a hoe or slut. They are bullshit society words. Rape is a highly traumatic event and after the whole me too thing it's recognised EVEN more what a huge effect that has on people in many cases. It is hardly suprising if your sexual behaviour would change in response to rape and there is nothing technically wrong with sleeping around. You CAN try to heal from these rapes and the labels you have put on yourself

 

[After The End]

The fact that your family don't believe you were raped strikes me as far more consequential as a source of depression and possible self-hatred or recrimination than your sexual history. Unless the two are somehow tied together in that it might be why they don't take you seriously. Regardless three years is not a long time to recover from something like that - let alone for someone who has experienced it twice - and no one could be expected to have done so without genuine support. Hell, I've been dealing with truama like that for many times as long and I'm nowhere near over it. The fact that, at only twenty-three, your mother is gone also sounds kind of traumatic. I was a lot older than that when my mother passed away (unexpectedly) and I can tell you it shook me up horribly. Were you close?

Support does exist. I don't want that to sound like a platitude. It really does, if only in an informal context.

I know this sort of advice can seem trite, but if someone is willing to view your sexual history as some sort of supreme measure of your value as a person you're better off avoiding them, and I want to post my agreement with those who say it doesn't matter even though my experience (setting aside being assaulted) is the exact opposite to the others who have commented here (I have weird hangups about sex and have literally never been in a position where I wanted to pursue it with anyone) and I would still say your sexual history doesn't preclude you from falling in love, being loved, or enjoying a positive, long-term relationship.

I hope you think about this carefully.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Agree with the all the others who have talked about number of partners, youth, etc. This is not a big deal. They stated it really well and it seemed to get through so I'll talk about a different subject.

It sucks not being believed about rape. But it happens. What's important is that you know you were raped. You also know who's not going to be supportive. I would let it drop with them and find folks who will be supportive. I had a friend who told me an incredible story about being gang raped and never thought to question her. Then when I was drugged and raped by one of our mutual friends, she didn't believe me, no matter how many times I told her the story, and laid out step by step what happened. I couldn't have been any more credible. We're no longer friends, in fact she got abusive about it when I ended the friendship! This was on her, all of it. And as far as what people think of you with being manic or whatever, such states actually make you more vulnerable to being tricked and being abused, not to blame for being abused. Having sex with a variety of partners is also not an invitation for sexual assault, they're two different things. I'm sorry that folks don't believe you, but it's on them, even though they try to put it on you.

 

[Lostandfound7]

First, I'm so sorry to hear about the violations and the fact that u haven't been believed or received any kind of support..Rape can def rob a woman of her dignity, self-esteem, and self-worth..The lack of support just compounds the very traumatic experience and is enough to break anyone..

You are NOT a HOE. U love sex and so what! When a man sleeps around with multiple women, he's endearingly called a "playa," and its a badge of honor, showing his male prowess... How lovely..But when a woman loves sex and sleeps around, she's branded a hoe, slut, whore, etc..FUCK THAT!

I was a stripper for 6 years, then went on to become a dominatrix for 5..And I LOVED it..My husband knows n understands. And if he didn't, he could fuck off too. That is my PAST and NOT who I am now...I have gotten married, chilled out, and currently completing my degree.. I DARE anyone to thro my PAST in my face..I'm proud of how far I have come..Everyone has a past, but not everyone has a future..

Enjoy your va-jay-jay. Celebrate it! U can still find someone to love you for YOU..This doesn't have to be the way your story ends.♡♡♡

 

[ravergirl]

I'm a CSA survivor. I've been doing sex work for a long time. I've been to glory holes, adult theaters, and swingers clubs. I've lived a lifestyle very much like you describe. I've also been raped. It's shitty that people won't believe girls like us. Just because I'm a slut doesn't take away my right to say no.

I hear you. I believe you. And it's not your fault. <3

 

[Fedrea]

I'm a CSA survivor. I've been doing sex work for a long time. I've been to glory holes, adult theaters, and swingers clubs. I've lived a lifestyle very much like you describe. I've also been raped. It's shitty that people won't believe girls like us. Just because I'm a slut doesn't take away my right to say no.

I hear you. I believe you. And it's not your fault. <3

You are not a slut either. That is a bullshit society word. Fuck that patriarchal bullshit. There is no guilt attached to sleeping around. The stigma on women sleeping around belongs in the past when proper contraception didn't exist and there were more logical reasons for limiting women's sexual behaviour.

I am miserable. Thank you

You can heal from this. The chance is there. Hold onto it. There is no guilt or blame attached your behaviour. You did nothing wrong. Nothing whatsoever. Your family have gaslit you. This is so bad. It would make so many people feel needless guilt


Personally although I do have some sexual trauma that is extremely difficult, I wish I'd been much much more of a "slut" and seen a lot more penises in my youth. As one person quoted poetically, gather ye rosebuds while ye may cos you won't always be so young and attractive. Sexuality can be such a healthy positive thing. I can't believe how much pressure there is on women to see themselves in a certain way due to sexual behaviour

 

[Noisette]

When I was 11, I was wearing red pants and walked like a model. We were kids playing outside but I knew how to wink and drive the boys crazy.
When I was 17, I lost my virginity with and I didn't really care.

I have always had a curiousity towards sex.

When I was 19, I was raped for the first time.

20 raped the second time.

In between then filled myself with friends with benefits, I was a real hoe.

Things got worse when I had a bf who liked being a cuckold.

He made me feel comfortable and allowed me to explore my sexuality.
By now I was an insta baddie and advocate for the sexual liberation of women.

By February I wanted to be a porn star but I stopped before I did it.
I didn't care what people thought.

Anyway dropped out of Uni, relationship ended, tried to kill myself, insulted my family.

Thing is they don't belive my rapes. I had a manic episode and basically blew my life up and now I am miserable.

The only time I am happy is when I eat, or when I am sleeping.

I stay with my aunt and her son, I am gonna ctb with an extension cord on Friday.

I tried to think of a way to make my life better but man life is hard.

Sometimes I dream about falling in love and being happy despite being a slut. My brain makes me think that I could be loved, married, that some crazy man would love me, take care of me and never leave.

But the reality is lonely and empty.
I have sisters, I am a first born and I wish I had my life together but it's too late.

My aunt is going on an overnight date with her boyfriend, I am gonna wait for my cousin to sleep. Use the extension cord, wrap it around the door bell, throw it over. Step on the washing machine and jump of. My feet won't be touching the floor this time.

I really want to go. I can't live like this. My mom is dead, I saw her late at night, dressed in white.

I think she's saying it's okay if I want to go.

I've been an escorts for years and started very early. It's been over 10 years I'm out of the industry. With therapy I found out that my sexual abusive past and rapes experience were the reason I went in the sex industry.
I wish I went to therapy before.
Now I feel ashamed and nobody around me knows about this part of my life.
Not to forget my vision of men that is impossible to erase.
The sex industry will give you the type of trauma that only affects you when you try to have a normal sex and love life.

I would recommend to look for organizations that helps sex workers ( so they won't judge you) call them and ask the the ressources for consultation.

Trust me you are worth way more than what a man will make you feel like.


Love ♥

 

[Noisette]

You sold your body to make a living. I sold my brain to a large corporation to make a living. Not much difference really.

I'm trying not to feel insulted by what you said.
I understand that it comes from ignorance and it's okay.

Selling your body to strangers it's like selling your soul.

Not all Johns are nice to the girls they pay.
You see and experience really fucked up things.

Let's not talk about the fact that this world is surrounded by drugs, fake friends, loneliness, and really insisting men trying to pimp you.

But hey let's compare this to working for a corporation that sucks.

Aiiigghht!

 

[Linda]

I'm trying not to feel insulted by what you said.
I understand that it comes from ignorance and it's okay.

Selling your body to strangers it's like selling your soul.

Not all Johns are nice to the girls they pay.
You see and experience really fucked up things.

Let's not talk about the fact that this world is surrounded by drugs, fake friends, loneliness, and really insisting men trying to pimp you.

But hey let's compare this to working for a corporation that sucks.

Aiiigghht!

Sorry. Comment deleted.

 

[Exhausted1705]

Agree with the all the others who have talked about number of partners, youth, etc. This is not a big deal. They stated it really well and it seemed to get through so I'll talk about a different subject.

It sucks not being believed about rape. But it happens. What's important is that you know you were raped. You also know who's not going to be supportive. I would let it drop with them and find folks who will be supportive. I had a friend who told me an incredible story about being gang raped and never thought to question her. Then when I was drugged and raped by one of our mutual friends, she didn't believe me, no matter how many times I told her the story, and laid out step by step what happened. I couldn't have been any more credible. We're no longer friends, in fact she got abusive about it when I ended the friendship! This was on her, all of it. And as far as what people think of you with being manic or whatever, such states actually make you more vulnerable to being tricked and being abused, not to blame for being abused. Having sex with a variety of partners is also not an invitation for sexual assault, they're two different things. I'm sorry that folks don't believe you, but it's on them, even though they try to put it on you.

Thank you

I've been an escorts for years and started very early. It's been over 10 years I'm out of the industry. With therapy I found out that my sexual abusive past and rapes experience were the reason I went in the sex industry.
I wish I went to therapy before.
Now I feel ashamed and nobody around me knows about this part of my life.
Not to forget my vision of men that is impossible to erase.
The sex industry will give you the type of trauma that only affects you when you try to have a normal sex and love life.

I would recommend to look for organizations that helps sex workers ( so they won't judge you) call them and ask the the ressources for consultation.

Trust me you are worth way more than what a man will make you feel like.


Love ♥

Thank you

You are not a slut either. That is a bullshit society word. Fuck that patriarchal bullshit. There is no guilt attached to sleeping around. The stigma on women sleeping around belongs in the past when proper contraception didn't exist and there were more logical reasons for limiting women's sexual behaviour.

You can heal from this. The chance is there. Hold onto it. There is no guilt or blame attached your behaviour. You did nothing wrong. Nothing whatsoever. Your family have gaslit you. This is so bad. It would make so many people feel needless guilt


Personally although I do have some sexual trauma that is extremely difficult, I wish I'd been much much more of a "slut" and seen a lot more penises in my youth. As one person quoted poetically, gather ye rosebuds while ye may cos you won't always be so young and attractive. Sexuality can be such a healthy positive thing. I can't believe how much pressure there is on women to see themselves in a certain way due to sexual behaviour

I was actually starting a talk about the sexual liberation of women. I stopped because people thought it was crazy but I definitely agree with you

I'm a CSA survivor. I've been doing sex work for a long time. I've been to glory holes, adult theaters, and swingers clubs. I've lived a lifestyle very much like you describe. I've also been raped. It's shitty that people won't believe girls like us. Just because I'm a slut doesn't take away my right to say no.

I hear you. I believe you. And it's not your fault. <3

Thank you. I believe you too

 

[Exhausted1705]

Wo

First, I'm so sorry to hear about the violations and the fact that u haven't been believed or received any kind of support..Rape can def rob a woman of her dignity, self-esteem, and self-worth..The lack of support just compounds the very traumatic experience and is enough to break anyone..

You are NOT a HOE. U love sex and so what! When a man sleeps around with multiple women, he's endearingly called a "playa," and its a badge of honor, showing his male prowess... How lovely..But when a woman loves sex and sleeps around, she's branded a hoe, slut, whore, etc..FUCK THAT!

I was a stripper for 6 years, then went on to become a dominatrix for 5..And I LOVED it..My husband knows n understands. And if he didn't, he could fuck off too. That is my PAST and NOT who I am now...I have gotten married, chilled out, and currently completing my degree.. I DARE anyone to thro my PAST in my face..I'm proud of how far I have come..Everyone has a past, but not everyone has a future..

Enjoy your va-jay-jay. Celebrate it! U can still find someone to love you for YOU..This doesn't have to be the way your story ends.♡♡♡

W amazing. Thank you for sharing with me

 

[Fedrea]

I'm trying not to feel insulted by what you said.
I understand that it comes from ignorance and it's okay.

Selling your body to strangers it's like selling your soul.

Not all Johns are nice to the girls they pay.
You see and experience really fucked up things.

Let's not talk about the fact that this world is surrounded by drugs, fake friends, loneliness, and really insisting men trying to pimp you.

But hey let's compare this to working for a corporation that sucks.

Aiiigghht!

It's scary how much contempt some men have for women and how capable some are of truly objectifying us, regarding us as object bodies. And I say that as someone who's had some wonderful men in her life too.

Thank you

Thank you ❤ ❤

I was actually starting a talk about the sexual liberation of women. I stopped because people thought it was crazy but I definitely agree with you

Thank you. I believe you too

I know this is a pro choice forum but having heard your story, can you consider holding on for a bit and seeing if you can heal?

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I know this is a pro choice forum but having heard your story, can you consider holding on for a bit and seeing if you can heal?

There's nothing I can add to the wisdom already shared here, but I do want to express my support for this sentiment. I couldn't possibly understand your situation, never having been raped before. I have, however, counseled many people your age and I believe there are successful paths available to you.

 

[incognito]

During a short stay of my life for rifox sex I was not proud but I learned.

 

[Kain10th]

It's scary how much contempt some men have for women and how capable some are of truly objectifying us, regarding us as object bodies. And I say that as someone who's had some wonderful men in her life too.

I was one of those men. I've been a virgin my whole life and I started blaming women for that. But then I realized that it's my perception of women that has caused me to remain this way and view them only as sexual objects for men's desires. I believe pornography and the media have highly contributed to my view. I watched both since I was a child. They made it seem as if women like being treated like objects and so that's how I came to treat them. I wish I could start over and see women as people but now I'm 37 and still a virgin. I deserve this.

 

[Linda]

I was one of those men. I've been a virgin my whole life and I started blaming women for that. But then I realized that it's my perception of women that has caused me to remain this way and view them only as sexual objects for men's desires. I believe pornography and the media have highly contributed to my view. I watched both since I was a child. They made it seem as if women like being treated like objects and so that's how I came to treat them. I wish I could start over and see women as people but now I'm 37 and still a virgin. I deserve this.

Your situation is not as rare as you think. I knew one man only a little younger than you are now and he had never even had an orgasm. His catholic upbringing, together with an unusually tight foreskin, meant that he had never even masturbated. He is now in his 70s, and I doubt that his situation has changed. It's not too late to remedy your situation. Get out there and meet some women. If you finish up in a physically intimate situation with a woman - or if you can see that one is about to happen - be honest with her and tell her your situation and that you are not sexually experienced. (Sex does require a little practice, and you don't want her to finish up wondering if there was something wrong with her.). Honesty usually helps you bond with people too. Good luck.

 

[Ijustwantpeace]

if youre going to kill yourself get a hotel room and do it. Putting family members through that level of trauma is unfair. Unless they are vile animals or something.

 

[Fedrea]

I was one of those men. I've been a virgin my whole life and I started blaming women for that. But then I realized that it's my perception of women that has caused me to remain this way and view them only as sexual objects for men's desires. I believe pornography and the media have highly contributed to my view. I watched both since I was a child. They made it seem as if women like being treated like objects and so that's how I came to treat them. I wish I could start over and see women as people but now I'm 37 and still a virgin. I deserve this.

You might be being too hard on yourself. There may be a difference between the type of men who objectify women and who regularly harm woman via their behaviour Vs the ones who are virgins or have very little success with women and begin to resent them, and objectify them.. I think the logic there goes, women don't like me, so there must be something wrong with them. I don't doubt what you say that pornography has contributed to the objectification of women, goodness knows what it has done to the brains of men younger than you who watched hours on their phones as children

But the important thing is that you have recognised that the way you were viewing women was wrong. And you have done all this even though you haven't yet been able to form a romantic relationship and lose your virginity. I hope that does happen for you and I hope your mental health improves a lot when it does

 

[GoneGoneGone]

if youre going to kill yourself get a hotel room and do it. Putting family members through that level of trauma is unfair. Unless they are vile animals or something.

That's quite rude and her family members contributed to her trauma.
Where are the mods??

 

[socrates]

I'm so sorry to hear were raped. Life is just not fair and down right cruel at times. I'm not sure why you think you can never find love. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing between 21-25. If you choose to keep going you have plenty of time. Most people aren't even getting married till near thirty these days. I wish you the best!