everlastinghistory
Member
- May 5, 2022
- 86
This might not make much sense cause I'm crying so much that I feel like I'm gonna throw up and I'm in physical pain from it at this point.
But man I miss her so fucking much. I just want my liebling back. She's so perfect and it's not fair. Why does she get to go on with life like nothing happened and I have to suffer? Obviously I'd never want her to feel like this but man all I want is to have her back. I love her so much. Everything feels so wrong without her. She's the only person I've ever truly felt anything for. I can't like this. I just can't. It's torture. Sometimes things distract me for a short period of time but it always ends up back here. Alone in my room crying until I think I'll throw up and feeling like I can't breathe. I swear I must've hit a record for the most panic attacks in 24 hours the day she left. I feel like a part of me is missing. Like a part of my soul was murdered. It physically hurts. Fuckin actually threw up from crying so much a while ago. Everything reminds me of her. And I really do mean everything. Before we met I was 2 months from committing. She was the only reason I didn't. Now that she's left things are somehow even worse than they already were before we met. All I ever wanted was to make her happy and make her realize she really is perfect. But no matter how hard I tried all I could ever do was hurt her. I just want my baby back… She's precious. Perfect. Amazing. I love her so much. She'd be better off if I was dead. At least then I couldn't hurt her anymore. Maybe then she'd be happy cause she'd finally have complete freedom from all the bullshit I've done and the peace of knowing I wasn't coming back. I swear I'll always love her. In this life and every life after it. My soul will always search for her and I swear if I ever find her again in this life or another I'll do everything possible not to fuck up. I swear I'll really make her happy and make her really realize she's perfect. I swear I will. I'll find a way somehow.
But man I miss her so fucking much. I just want my liebling back. She's so perfect and it's not fair. Why does she get to go on with life like nothing happened and I have to suffer? Obviously I'd never want her to feel like this but man all I want is to have her back. I love her so much. Everything feels so wrong without her. She's the only person I've ever truly felt anything for. I can't like this. I just can't. It's torture. Sometimes things distract me for a short period of time but it always ends up back here. Alone in my room crying until I think I'll throw up and feeling like I can't breathe. I swear I must've hit a record for the most panic attacks in 24 hours the day she left. I feel like a part of me is missing. Like a part of my soul was murdered. It physically hurts. Fuckin actually threw up from crying so much a while ago. Everything reminds me of her. And I really do mean everything. Before we met I was 2 months from committing. She was the only reason I didn't. Now that she's left things are somehow even worse than they already were before we met. All I ever wanted was to make her happy and make her realize she really is perfect. But no matter how hard I tried all I could ever do was hurt her. I just want my baby back… She's precious. Perfect. Amazing. I love her so much. She'd be better off if I was dead. At least then I couldn't hurt her anymore. Maybe then she'd be happy cause she'd finally have complete freedom from all the bullshit I've done and the peace of knowing I wasn't coming back. I swear I'll always love her. In this life and every life after it. My soul will always search for her and I swear if I ever find her again in this life or another I'll do everything possible not to fuck up. I swear I'll really make her happy and make her really realize she's perfect. I swear I will. I'll find a way somehow.
