Rant re "family"

[nightflight]

Recently returned from a trip to visit my only family, an older sibling, his wife, and their son. I am in my 40s. To make a long story short I visited with the explicit intention (known to them well before this trip) that I intend to take my own life soon (with some company from a good friend), that my life has been hell for decades, I am a broken human being, isolated, depressed, can barely function etc.

I was met with "your suicide is only passing on the pain" "cancer patients want to live" "you just need to try more/different therapy and medications" "you are immoral" "your nephew won't get over this"....

Have barely had anything resembling a decent relationship with these people, my brother has always been an abusive uncaring bully/control freak.

Now they are threatening my friend with legal action if she is present when I go, saying things like "we don't know how far we will go".

I thought I was doing the right thing so they weren't completely blindsided, but now obviously I completely regret having made my intentions known.

Can anyone relate? Even coming from them I was shocked by the guilt-trips and recriminations.

 

[faust]

I think it is always better to keep that secret as deeply as possible.
I recently told my friend that I will CTB soon.
Now he treats me like I am already dead, often calling me when I am busy, even if I say that I am busy, he is still calling.
People become so annoying when you tell'em about your intention to end your life.
They can't understand that we will die anyway, sooner or later and that is your own life and your own choice.
The problem of our laws is that your friend may be jailed if it is proven that he assisted your suicide (even if he did not).
So it is a matter of a big concern.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm sorry you went through this. Controlling bullies will always bully and try to control. Does he usually follow through on such threats or is he mostly bluster?

 

[nightflight]

I'm sorry you went through this. Controlling bullies will always bully and try to control. Does he usually follow through on such threats or is he mostly bluster?

Thanks. I think he is bluffing, he is often alot of hot air but to be honest his insistence that I stay alive scared me a bit because there wasn't a single mention of my pain or quality of life. It was, literally, his way or the highway to hell.

I'm such an idiot for visiting them.

 

[GinaIsReady]

Seems to me that their reaction reflected very common values (not mine, btw). What were you thinking their response would be (I personally wouldn't have risked telling them)? I personally do not agree with them, but their response to you seems pretty on par with the vast majority of non-suicidal people. Too bad you had to take that. hugs

 

[nightflight]

Seems to me that their reaction reflected very common values (not mine, btw). What were you thinking their response would be (I personally wouldn't have risked telling them)? I personally do not agree with them, but their response to you seems pretty on par with the vast majority of non-suicidal people. Too bad you had to take that. hugs

Thanks, I really thought they would be more enlightened, accepting; after all I have voiced my wish to die consistently for two years now, so this isn't a temporary crisis or suicidal gesture. Boy was I wrong.

 

[oopswronglife]

You learned that at the end of the day most all people don't really care about you...only how you make THEM feel. My family is the same. I've heard verbatim all of those words. Your pain and death is an insult to them because it makes them feel afraid or guilty. It undoes every lie we are fed as children and by society. It's a sickening lesson and feeling. I wonder how many suicides could be avoided if people actually gave a shit about others and addressed root causes and loved people instead of just themselves and their egos.

 

[nightflight]

You learned that at the end of the day most all people don't really care about you...only how you make THEM feel. My family is the same. Your pain and death is an insult to them because it makes them feel afraid or guilty. It undoes every lie we are fed as children and by society. It's a sickening lesson and feeling. I wonder how many suicides could be avoided if people actually gave a shit about others and addressed root causes and loved people instead of just themselves and their egos.

Sorry your family is similar, there is something sinister about widespread suicide prevention tactics using guilt and threats. I left with a very bad taste in my mouth, such a shame.

 

[oopswronglife]

Sorry your family is similar, there is something sinister about widespread suicide prevention tactics using guilt and threats. I left with a very bad taste in my mouth, such a shame.

Sorry you have to suffer it as well, learning how alone I really was has been the worst feeling I have ever had, and a lot of bad stuff has happened. The only people who have ever truly cared are dead, and most of them suffered greatly themselves. I just have nothing left in general...they have ruined my empathy and belief in anything and anyone. They all deserve to suffer what they cause and deny others...but as we know that's not how it works.