Help Quick. I need to make a suicide decision by tonight.

[Powderedmonster]

I've been waiting and waiting for the perfect suicide energy. Maybe some of you know what I mean. When I'm too fatigued, in despair, or anxious I simply cannot muster up the energy/courage to ctb. But now, now I'm ready. I have the perfect energy right now. But I have second thoughts which is driving me mad right now, because a lot of the past 2 years have been spent in utter agony, sure I needed to die, but not having the courage or energy to. Well today I do, but I consciously don't know if that's the right choice today, because I sort of connect with my sister and also might never getting ketamine treatment soon. But I also know that suicide might very well be the right thing for me to do. So how do I decide? I change my mind a lot about suicide but I really need to make a decision quick, because the energy may never be this perfect again. If I leave it off I may never get this opportunity again, at least for a long while.
Should I do it tonight?

 

[Dead beat dad]

This is something only you can conclude brother.
I'm sorry to hear about your pain and the difficulties you're having.
If you're having such 'tooing and froing' maybe this is a sign you're not ready yet.
Either way friend I hope you can find peace.
Good luck
DBD

 

[JoeFailure]

I think only if you have a method really researched and prepared for and if you're 100% sure there's no hope.

I'm still here because I don't have a perfect method picked out and I'm at about a 99% hopeless level, probably just hoping on an irrational 1% (if even) chance at a miracle even though it's agonizing to get through each day.

But I think that's the right thing because I don't want to mess this up if I do it, and I want to be the full 100% all in. I wouldn't want you to mess it up either or go down if you even see a glimmer.

 

[Soul]

I also think that being unsure means it's not time yet. The right energy will come together again if it's the right time. I'm sorry things are hard, but glad you have a couple of things going well. I hope you find your way.