Question about SN method and Harakiri

[Midgardsorm]

Hello everyone.

I'm new to this forum, forgive me for not introducing myself properly.

I do have a question. I'm an OCD sufferer, and every day, it's a struggle. Not only that I suffered from depression from as lost as I can remember. I'm about to turn 33, this year and it seems that life has reached a point where nothing else matters anymore, because even if I found a way to cure myself, I already lost so much time of life. The worst part is that the "Way to cure myself" is by sacrificing a thing that is very important to me, basically, what's still keeping me going.

I have ups and downs every day. I always think about the SN method. Clean, "Safe"(Meaning that it will work, at least most of the time.).

However, I have a question. I'm a huge fan of the way of the Samurai. To kill myself, is to die with honor, or at least what's left of it. Because of that I'm thinking about Harakiri, the disembowelment method commits by the samurai's who lost their honor, as a way to redeeming themselves.

The problem of this method is that it's not exactly fatal without a fine swordsman to cut your head off after the ritual.

But, the SN might do the job.

My question is: After the disembowelment, would the SN still work? because all the damage the Harakiri would do to me, I'm concerned that the effect might not be enough, or efficiently at all.

I appreciate any information that can be provided.

Thanks, everyone.

 

[x-Ace-x]

Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to achieve. Can you describe in more details?

 

[InTheAirTonight]

Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to achieve. Can you describe in more details?

I think he wants to do Seppuku to restore honor or redeem himself

 

[Midgardsorm]

Without the aid of a swordsman, the Harakiri would take hours to kill the victim, if not days.

But if I drink the SN before doing the ritual, I might accomplish what I want to do in a few minutes. Howerver I would have damaged my body in a way that I'm concerned that the SN might not take effect.

 

[Soul]

I can't imagine SN and harakiri collaborating very well. It's not clear when in the process one would start cutting. You want the stuff to reach the bowels you'd be slashing at, so it doesn't seem very practical.

I also don't think admiring samurais should entail imitating one of their important rituals without being entitled to it first, by going through training and lifestyle changes for a meaningful period.

Anyway I'm sorry you're pondering such things, but hope you make good decisions as to your best next steps.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Aside from the empathy and compassion I feel for your being in the position to make these considerations, this is a great philosophical challenge! Just thinking this through. I don't have a deep knowledge of the subject, I'm considering it symbolically...

The way of the samurai was to live by the sword as warriors, and, if I'm correct, it was expected they die by the sword in battle if their opponent was more skilled or had an advantage, or, if they were victorious, then by old age. Their identities were attached to their vocations as Samurai. Their honor was attached to the object of the sword, and death was attached to concept of battle. It was honorable to kill in battle, and to be killed in battle.

If they had been dishonorable, then they were to kill themselves as a warrior opposed to themselves, that is, they had acted as an enemy. Then honor would be maintained, since it was honorable to die by the sword of one's opponent in battle.

I get what @Soul is saying about taking on the ritual without first experiencing the training and lifestyle.

If honor is truly important to you, and you feel you have acted dishonorably and need to avenge yourself for the sake of honor, but you are not a Samurai, and all that entails, then I wonder...

1. To what occupations is your identity attached? (By occupations I mean, what do you focus on that guides your actions and ethics? Is it a career, a hobby, or a passion?)

2. To what objects within your occupations is your honor attached, so that such objects are the tools to both guide and express your ethics and actions?

3. To what concepts or fields are your life and death attached?

 

[Midgardsorm]

Thanks. I understand what @Soul said. I only feel dishonored and the act of the cbt in that manner represents my desire to clean my honor and pride.

@a_strange_day I read about that. He tried to convince the emperor to renounce and overturn Japan's 1947 constitution.

@GoodPersonEffed, to be fair, your questions made me think about my life in general. I know what driven me to be in this situation, but I can't answer in a way that would be understandable.

Idealism might be a problem to me. the fact that I'm not living the life that I so much wanted to and still fighting against a mental issue that the only way to "cure" it has a significant chance of leaving me unable to feel pleasure in things that I like.

Thanks everyone for the support.

 

[autumnal]

Wow, this is a new one. Not to rain on your parade, but do you actually know much practical information about Harakiri, especially as used in a modern setting? I would also agree with the point from others about insincere cultural appropriation, although admittedly this is a theoretical consideration rather than a practical one.