Venting Quarantine and Suicide

[Deleted member 17949]

Earlier this year I completely believed that quarantine would make suicide much easier, but in reality it's making everything a lot more difficult. My mum now works from home so where I would usually be able to take advantage of any time I was at home through the day I am now stuck with her questioning where I am going. Since she found my rope she's on high alert and will freak out if I do anything sudden (she basically had a breakdown yesterday when I didn't answer her calls for a few minutes while she went to walk the dog). I've been sent home for this week because of a covid case at our college and it's really just making things more difficult since I can't even leave to try this weekend now.

I know this is relatively short term - I will be able to try to ctb again in under 2 weeks - but it's frustrating and I feel like there's a constant stream of things getting in the way of me attempting lately. I am trying to avoid being impulsive and risking getting myself in trouble but I am getting more desperate to go and it's hard to stay emotionally stable like this.

 

[Time to fly]

Nothing I say will change how you feel inside but I am going through the same kind of struggle with lockdown...tried to CTB day before lockdown but police were all over the location I was going to...I spend the time in lockdown listening and speaking with others on here just to be as supportive as I can...remember the bus is there and it will wait for you...keep your plan in mind and try and stay as relaxed and peaceful as you can...we are all here day and night to listen...please feel free to PM me if you need to rant and vent I am here to listen...

 

[woxihuanni]

Fucks it up for me too, rather. But it has to be since it is not up to me.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Nothing I say will change how you feel inside but I am going through the same kind of struggle with lockdown...tried to CTB day before lockdown but police were all over the location I was going to...I spend the time in lockdown listening and speaking with others on here just to be as supportive as I can...remember the bus is there and it will wait for you...keep your plan in mind and try and stay as relaxed and peaceful as you can...we are all here day and night to listen...please feel free to PM me if you need to rant and vent I am here to listen...

Definitely also struggled with people suddenly being around places they were never usually around. I am trying to stick to this mindset; this will pass fairly soon and I will be able to try again.

 

[Lilacmoon]

Just hold on a little longer, you'll have your chance to go. It'll be hard but you don't have a choice.
Good luck :(

 

[LostSoul101]

Same for me. Police everywhere and another poster questioned if I'm telling the truth because the covid restrictions in my country are stricter than in their country, as if I'm making it up and I don't know my own country rules! I also can't CTB at home anymore and I can't get to a location because of lockdown restrictions and there are police patrolling more than usual. It's a downer having to wait and I'm bored!

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Same for me. Police everywhere and another poster questioned if I'm telling the truth because the covid restrictions in my country are stricter than in their country, as if I'm making it up and I don't know my own country rules! I also can't CTB at home anymore and I can't get to a location because of lockdown restrictions and there are police patrolling more than usual. It's a downer having to wait and I'm bored!

100% believe you, covid especially if you are in a heavily populated area this is definitely an issue