Venting Purposely Contracting A Deadly Disease

[RedPanda]

Please bare with me, my mind is really messed up. The other day i was thinking of purposely putting myself in a life threatening situation to contract a deadly disease. Malaria to be exact. Yes, i know this method would be very painful and very unpleasant but you only die once so...it shouldn't matter. This way my suicide would actually seem like a tragic death that just happened while traveling and unfortunately went untreated that ended up killing me.

If any admins feel like i'm taking the piss regarding suicide, feel free to remove this thread if you think it's insensitive because i know suicide is a serious topic but i'm dead serious with what i'm mentioning here. It's something that has crossed my mind.

Has anyone ever had thoughts like this?

 

[Maledictus]

I've thought about it too, but only thought. I'm the kind of person who covers their mouth when other people cough, so watching my body slowly deteriorate at the hands of an illness would be far too horrifying for me to handle. If I ever CTB I'd much rather go the quick-and-painless as possible route.

 

[k75]

I think it's something that a lot of people fantasize about because it seems like a super easy way out, but the reality is deadly diseases and terminal illnesses are scary and they suck and they're horrible. Maleria sounds very nasty and painful, and it isn't even guaranteed. You could survive and have screwed up vital organs to show for it. Also, there's a long incubation period to see if you even catch the disease. All that waiting...

I've battled breast cancer and it was terrifying, and no matter how strong my suicidal urges get, I would never ever wish to do that again. In fact, it was so awful and traumatic the threat and fear of a recurrence has actually made me more suicidal.

And a lot of the time these diseases that can kill you are either excruciating or take a really really long time to finish you off, and the whole time you're slowly deteriorating and you know that there's no way out of the situation. So what do you do if your survival instinct kicks in? Just imagine that, all of you trying to live and there's not a chance in hell and then you just get sicker and sicker and in more and more pain. It's like your own little hell until you're lucky enough to die.

So maybe I'm weird and that's not how it is with everyone, but I personally think it's a horrible idea and a horrible way to go.

 

[Darkhaven]

You are not the only one to think of such things.
I have thought about that some months ago.
Don't see why i would go into so much trouble purposefully getting sick and then waiting for the wretched disease to kill me out, which would take, most likely, a lot time and suffering, when i can do it directly and faster.
Just a thought. You do what you feel is best for you.

 

[Stan]

I had those thoughts when weighing up the stigma thing about suicide. Was at one point going to go to an African country with an ebola outbreak to volunteer and purposefully contract it. Also thought about going to somewhere with a civil war and fight on the side of good and go out like Butch and Sundance

 

[LogicalThinker-527]

it's the optimal ctb method for me. I live in a place where if you ctb, it'll destroy your family's reputation.
my family have been very nice to me so when it comes to it, i'd rather suffer physically during it and make it look like an accident than die peacefully but
ruin my family's reputation.