PTSD side effect

[so tired or manic]

just curious how common this is.

talking to someone had triggered the PTSD. an argument. my thoughts and inner voice were childlike. I wanted nothing more than to go to a fairground. or play in a stream. the voice I think with was of a little boys.

scared the shit out of me when it passed.

 

[muffin222]

Have you heard of Structural Dissociation? It might be worth looking into. I can relate to your experience. I have PTSD from serious childhood abuse, and as a result my mind/personality didn't integrate cohesively. Instead, it split into "parts". Some of my "parts" are childlike, and they can be triggered to the "front" of my consciousness when I'm under stress or when certain triggers remind me of past traumas. These child parts often want to do things like cuddle with teddy bears or watch cartoons. It was very unsettling for me when this happened before I learned about the theory of Structural Dissociation. So sorry you're dealing with this

 

[XYZ]

When something or someone triggers my ptsd I fly into a rage immediatedly. It's 0 to 100 in 1 second. I can't cope with the flasbacks. During the thing that traumatized me I was helpless and very angry at myself for my helplessness. Sorry for you man. I get it. Thx for sharing.

 

[so tired or manic]

Have you heard of Structural Dissociation? It might be worth looking into. I can relate to your experience. I have PTSD from serious childhood abuse, and as a result my mind/personality didn't integrate cohesively. Instead, it split into "parts". Some of my "parts" are childlike, and they can be triggered to the "front" of my consciousness when I'm under stress or when certain triggers remind me of past traumas. These child parts often want to do things like cuddle with teddy bears or watch cartoons. It was very unsettling for me when this happened before I learned about the theory of Structural Dissociation. So sorry you're dealing with this

that actually explains a lot of my daily life. I figured it was mood swings, but this makes a lot more sense.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I hear you!

Of the six parts, Attachment is my biggest. It always has been I'm a (pathetic) textbook case of the Inner Child I've tried to deal with trauma for decades. When it comes to the part of selfcare and loving yourself, the whole idea comes to a screeching halt.

No one ever took care of me - who the hell am I to be the only one to start now?

I'd rather die. It turns out I have deep anger but never ever toward anyone except myself.

 

[muffin222]

that actually explains a lot of my daily life. I figured it was mood swings, but this makes a lot more sense.

I'm glad it gives you some clarity. I know I felt a sense of relief when I read about it :)

 

[Deleted member 18655]

This might sound less odd here, my Dissociative/DID ctb that I envisioned like a bad satire:

• The Fight Self forces the SN despite the taste
• The Flight Self can't wait for the escape!
• The Freeze Self waits for it all to be over without panicking
• The Submit Self is resigned to the fact that life didn't turn out
• The Attached Self clutches the teddy bear in fear and loneliness

 

[so tired or manic]

I feel like I must have a survival self who wants to make everything difficult.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I feel like I must have a survival self who wants to make everything difficult.

That would be the Fight Self, wouldn't it? Sabotaging everything...?

 

[so tired or manic]

yeah. that makes sense.

 

[so tired or manic]

today's a flight or maybe freeze mode since the nightmares. thoughts aren't connecting. just want to disappear.

my cat idolizes me so much. the way she looks at me and follows me everywhere. it's pure love. her face just lights up when the eyes connect. I have never felt so loved and I'm so glad she's in my life. I just wish she'd learn that being a lap cat is essential. she brings me back.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I have ptsd for a few incidents in life. But I have cptsd more then anything. Which has slightly different effects so I'm not sure if it's what you're looking for.

My ptsd is very obvious if an animal is near a moving vehicle (even if it's calmly sitting by the road) after that it gets kinda blurry for which is which.

 

[so tired or manic]

I'm remembering times I've blocked out a whole day and thinking how often someone tells me I was with them, but I have no memories of it.

with low blood sugar it's not uncommon to black out, so I usually blame diabetes. as far as I know it's 100% diabetes.

it never really struck me as concerning that people will tell me often enough that I did something that as far as I know never happened. I just figure my memory sucks.

I have 0 memories before 14.

what am I missing? what have I forgotten?

I don't think there's more than just me in here. it's just the little boy voice and actions or a shift to complete rage, things like that, but they don't feel like someone else.

I guess I need a therapist. fuck.