Fuck man every time I leave the house I remember how fucked I am. Fucking auditory hallucinations, delusions, anxiety, suspiciousness, hostility, paranoia. I am surprised I haven't got into any conflict yet. Oh wait I did. I was very drunk though. It gave me the confidence to act on my paranoid and suspicious thoughts.
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Damn thats intense...how often do you interact with people? And are you ever really sure that interaction was real?
I outside everyday to get food. I was around family but I traveled a few days ago to do some stuff. Yeah I see the people normally and everything, I know the interactions were real. But when I feel really psychotic people appear to have alternate motives, even my family. It's fucked up. I feel better now, but damn it's so intense. Makes me want to kill myself so bad, especially when I know this will continue to happen in the future.
DeathBecomesMe
Student
- Sep 9, 2018
- 142
Yo ningaman, good luck with your psychosis! I'd love to be able to give you some helpful advice. The best thing I can think of is to stay away from all substance, that may include prescribed meds too. Not sure what you're on, but I have a friend who is a little younger than me and he's been hospitalized a few times with manic episodes and general psychosis. I don't see him anymore, but his bro tells me that he's improved, he stopped all but one of his prescriptions and stopped smoking weed and drinking, and even cigarettes. Further he doesn't spend time with the friends that led him astray.
Other than that, just try to be mindful, I'm sure it's an uphill battle and not that easy, but just like you think people are conspiring against you etc. , even 'normal' people are constantly thinking along those lines. I have 'normal' friends that are always getting into arguments with strangers especially in retail stores. A lot of people are in their own world and to an extent it is normal. Try to reason with yourself that they might be just as worried that you're conspiring against them, a balance if you will.
Apologies if this wasn't at all helpful.
DeathBecomesMe
Student
- Sep 9, 2018
- 142
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