Venting promises

[dra1ncoreslwt]

this is a childish post, but I want to vent about it. as impulsive and frustrating it is, it's one of the reasons that contribute to the list of built up things that push me to consider, plan, and eventually execute ctb.


I can't handle promises, it feels like peoples words are worth nothing, so I am insecure and distrusting, even from my own partner. my parents had the habit of promising me things, specially my dad, as I grew up, even if they were materialistic or small or stupid things these meant so much for me at the time, but every single time they failed to fulfill them, and every single time I believed them again. they still do it, I put my trust in their hands, convinced by their reassurance. I don't even ask for things anymore, even if I rightfully should, I just ask that they don't take from me and the things I request, but, nevertheless, every time they do it. this kind of happens with my partner too, when I ask for something and get excited about it happening or them getting me it, they promise, but usually it just doesn't happen. I know they don't mean to hurt me, but im always so vulnerable and I hate it, I hate me.

it has become physically agonizing, where I physically hurt when they disappoint me again, it hurts so much.

maybe I'll find peace with that someday.

 

[Aries]

I can relate....it really is so annoying and beyond frustrating.... Like I remember about my Dad. NY the time I was is boarding school when I was younger, he used to tell me to go to school first then my stuff or the things I need him to buy for me will come soon, but once I was in school, he would not do that... And it angered me a loooot

 

[aitouka]

I am so, so sorry to hear that. Many toss promises out like crumpled up paper. But don't let their deceit stop you from trusting or protecting yourself, please. There still are good people out there that you haven't come across yet, and try to purge those who lied to you from your life. I wish you the best, and hopefully you can find someone who treasures you and stays truthful.

 

[backtoearth]

I'm sorry the people who are supposed to support you keep breaking your trust in this way. I don't find it childish, I understand how even tiny things can build up and the trust and feeling of being appreciated just disappears. The pain you are feeling is justified and valid, even if it is not malicious or deliberate on their end.

I hope you find peace or some relief soon <3

 

[Aries]

I am so, so sorry to hear that. Many toss promises out like crumpled up paper. But don't let their deceit stop you from trusting or protecting yourself, please. There still are good people out there that you haven't come across yet, and try to purge those who lied to you from your life. I wish you the best, and hopefully you can find someone who treasures you and stays truthful.

Thank you very much
❤

 

[dra1ncoreslwt]

I'm sorry the people who are supposed to support you keep breaking your trust in this way. I don't find it childish, I understand how even tiny things can build up and the trust and feeling of being appreciated just disappears. The pain you are feeling is justified and valid, even if it is not malicious or deliberate on their end.

I hope you find peace or some relief soon <3

you really said what I wanted to hear, thanks for understanding me, it's comforting ♡ :(

 

[snowcloud9]

I bet you hate it when people tell you "it'll get better" as if they were psychics… I understand your frustration. It is only natural to assume people are honest, and finding that it's not always default in certain people is very hurtful.

 

[dra1ncoreslwt]

I am so, so sorry to hear that. Many toss promises out like crumpled up paper. But don't let their deceit stop you from trusting or protecting yourself, please. There still are good people out there that you haven't come across yet, and try to purge those who lied to you from your life. I wish you the best, and hopefully you can find someone who treasures you and stays truthful.

I can't really help it, my trust is broken and I can't fix it, trust is mutual, I know my partner is one of those good people, and I can't quite cut ties with my parents yet, I really feel like im stuck in a spot, if I had more control my self preservation would've pushed me, that's why it's so hurtful… but I do appreciate the advice, you are right, and thank you for the wishes :( ♡

I bet you hate it when people tell you "it'll get better" as if they were psychics… I understand your frustration. It is only natural to assume people are honest, and finding that it's not always default in certain people is very hurtful.

it's not really the case for me, I find it really hard to trust people, that's why it hurts soooo so much when the people I did decide to trust disappoint me and dismiss me, but yes, I wish it was true when people say "it'll get better" the lack of certainty hurts