Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
I've been feeling really bad, sad and suicidal lately, and today I was supposed to have my weekly social worker meeting, but at the last second she suddenly changed the time from 3pm to 1pm, and of course it didn't work for me, so she cancelled the meeting. (It was a meeting where she comes to visit me at my home.) I then had a phone call with her and told her I'm depressed and suicidal (stupid, but I'm just so tired and exhausted and can't give a shit about anything anymore), because deep in my heart I hoped she would cancel the cancellation, agree to have a meeting with me after all, and rush to help me. (Stupid of me to hope so, I know, but I'm not mentally well today).
Instead of coming to see me, she started to repeat on phone "Promise me you won't commit suicide! Promise! Promise!". I asked her "What does promising help?", and I explained to her that if I promised I'll be rich someday, it wouldn't mean that I'd automatically become rich overnight. She told me that if I promise to her that I won't do a suicide, it'll mean that I won't do a suicide. I asked her "How does that even work?" and told her I've already promised to not to commit suicide to multiple people and that it hasn't helped at all. And she said something really low IQ and illogical. Something like "When you promise someone you won't commit a suicide, you stop wanting to commit a suicide." I tried to explain to her that whether or not I do a suicide isn't fully in my hands (for example, LGBT kids have committed suicides just because their parents hated them and threw them out of house, and adults have committed suicides because of bankrupts and homelessness), but of course she couldn't understand and just ordered me to stop being suicidal as if being suicidal was a choice. Then she told me to call 911 and ended the phone call. Funny, how she didn't come here to check whether or not I have a rope around my neck or whether I just drank poison. Funny how she didn't call 911. If I ctb this weekend, it'll be partly her fault for not caring more. Also, how the hell does one call 911 after roping, jumping of a cliff, drinking N or shooting their face off?
This wasn't the first time a social worker has started to blather "Promise me you won't commit a suicide! You have to promise me!". I hate it! C'mon, a hug and "I'm sorry your life is horrible. You don't deserve to suffer so. Tell me if there's anything I can do to help you." would be more effective in preventing suicides than anything they say now.
Instead of coming to see me, she started to repeat on phone "Promise me you won't commit suicide! Promise! Promise!". I asked her "What does promising help?", and I explained to her that if I promised I'll be rich someday, it wouldn't mean that I'd automatically become rich overnight. She told me that if I promise to her that I won't do a suicide, it'll mean that I won't do a suicide. I asked her "How does that even work?" and told her I've already promised to not to commit suicide to multiple people and that it hasn't helped at all. And she said something really low IQ and illogical. Something like "When you promise someone you won't commit a suicide, you stop wanting to commit a suicide." I tried to explain to her that whether or not I do a suicide isn't fully in my hands (for example, LGBT kids have committed suicides just because their parents hated them and threw them out of house, and adults have committed suicides because of bankrupts and homelessness), but of course she couldn't understand and just ordered me to stop being suicidal as if being suicidal was a choice. Then she told me to call 911 and ended the phone call. Funny, how she didn't come here to check whether or not I have a rope around my neck or whether I just drank poison. Funny how she didn't call 911. If I ctb this weekend, it'll be partly her fault for not caring more. Also, how the hell does one call 911 after roping, jumping of a cliff, drinking N or shooting their face off?
This wasn't the first time a social worker has started to blather "Promise me you won't commit a suicide! You have to promise me!". I hate it! C'mon, a hug and "I'm sorry your life is horrible. You don't deserve to suffer so. Tell me if there's anything I can do to help you." would be more effective in preventing suicides than anything they say now.