I have this stupid ass condition known as "borderline personality disorder" and I honestly don't feel like the name.. portrays the whole.. y'know, everything. The whole disorder is EXTREME this and FULL that, like.. you're always on the border of freaking the hell out or laughing hysterically. Having this is being completely out of control of your emotions and reactions.
I don't get mad, for example, I go from completely whatever-I'm-feeling one second to EXTREMELY fuckin pissed the next second, just cause I dropped my spoon or something.
Same with other emotions. For some months or weeks I'll be depressed and suicidal and praying to die, lying in bed and getting fat, etc. hating life, giving up on my dreams and just crying ..and that's about it.
One day, I'll wake up and it's gone. I'm fine. Actually, I'm not just fine, I'm doin fuckin AMAZING, never been better.. ever. Haha but I say this every time, of course.
After the sadness goes wherever the heck it runs off to, I'm exercising again, eating clean, taking care of myself and others, being kind, etc. Feeling like the most beautiful person on earth cause I picked up someone else's trash or something.
Like, I get this feeling like I'm better than everyone else and it pisses me the fuck off. Like bitch (me to me), you were just cutting your legs with a piece of broken bottle you found, don't act special, freakazoid.
It makes me a bit anxious when I get so lifted, because I wonder when the dark times will come and how long I have until I'm deeply hurting again.
TL;DR: mood swings gomme like thissss ugh.
