S
SmallPika
Member
- Jul 15, 2022
- 11
Well. I finally decided that Thursday was it. Wrote my note the night before, figured out the exact method (bedsheet noose attached to my closet hanger-rod, slung over the closet door). I was prepared. The day comes, I wake up bright and early (relative to my usual day, it was actually noon). I send off a scheduled email with my note. I set everything up, which is a lot more physically taxing than I expected. I finally get the tension right. I get up there, and work up the courage to kick the chair. My feet touch the ground. FUCK. I mean, I tried to suffocate myself anyway but my body wasn't having it. After all that physical and emotional labour I give up for the day. Delete my email I sent.
Friday, I wake up too late. My mom was already home from work, no way in hell I could do it with her around without being caught. Now it's the weekend and she's home. If I don't do it on Monday this shit is never gonna get done. ARGH. I just want to rest in peace since living in peace doesn't seem like an option.
Friday, I wake up too late. My mom was already home from work, no way in hell I could do it with her around without being caught. Now it's the weekend and she's home. If I don't do it on Monday this shit is never gonna get done. ARGH. I just want to rest in peace since living in peace doesn't seem like an option.