Venting Procrastination is all that comes to mind while the days keep passing by.

[Buddha.chris]

dissatisfied with my decision to wait to ctb I'm slowly becoming impatient i have a strong inclination to just ctb already almost like I'm waiting for that moment to hit super rock bottom even if I do nobody will miss me regardless not even family. Medications don't work for me trying new medication after another is draining me especially with no support what's a life to live when there's no one to love or to love you I truly believe my situation progressively get worse as time goes on I feel like a coward a loser to be honest for not growing a pair earlier in life to ctb idk I guess I'm just venting excuses me if I sound all over the place I'm stupid lol

 

[sleepingsloth]

You're not stupid. Waiting and procrastinating is very common, it gives you time to think and reflect on what you're doing.
May I ask why you decided to wait?

 

[Buddha.chris]

You're not stupid. Waiting and procrastinating is very common, it gives you time to think and reflect on what you're doing.
May I ask why you decided to wait?

Thank you I appreciate it I guess venting helps with the emotions aspect not used to expressing myself looking to do that more Often here and I guess i decided to wait out of fear that maybe I will not succeed even though it likely that I will hopefully also fear like SI as well Maybe I'm just waiting to hit that dark rock bottom I already feel like I'm getting close to the edge

 

[FuneralCry]

Having the ability to exist here certainly is so awful, I don't really think there is such a thing as rock bottom in this cruel world as there is simply no limit as to how much we can suffer, and it's horrific how existing can get unbearable beyond how we can even imagine. I certainly hate how difficult suicide is but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[sleepingsloth]

Thank you I appreciate it I guess venting helps with the emotions aspect not used to expressing myself looking to do that more Often here and I guess i decided to wait out of fear that maybe I will not succeed even though it likely that I will hopefully also fear like SI as well Maybe I'm just waiting to hit that dark rock bottom I already feel like I'm getting close to the edge

Venting can help greatly, I'm glad you were able to express yourself. SI is a bitch and so is the fear of failing, it forces you to wait or stop what you're doing. I hope whatever you do, you find peace. You're not alone.

 

[soontobedone]

I understand that feeling of waiting for the right moment...the frustration of SI and yet not being able to give up the plan.

 

[Shivali]

Maybe everything is happening ... and than it is happening in "the right moment " .