TheEndForMe
Member
- Sep 18, 2024
- 7
The first man i ever loved and cared for deeply, told me straight after having sex (my first time ever) that he has a girlfriend, and doesn't want to get into a relationship with me..
You think i stopped there? I kept chasing after him, convincing myself it was okay and that he'll love me back someday, got myself 80k in debt because he wanted to start a car business but he couldn't take the loan himself as he was still studying (the business- to no surprise there - failed)
For the last 2 years i gave him everything i can think of in hopes he would love me back, money, sex, time, love, emotional and financial support (i gave him a monthly salary from my paycheck, so he doesnt have to get a side job and can focus of his studies), and when i finally got fed up and asked for his help to pay off the debt with me since this was a shared business between us, he said and i quote "i don't know where this is coming from! Why are you suddenly obsessed with me paying you, are you off your meds again?" And called me selfish because i don't see that he is financially struggling right now, even though he just graduated and got hired immediately (he's a doctor, now in surgical residency, and doesn't have ongoing med school debts becuae he was a scholarship student)
So he basically called me crazy and selfish for asking for help, and you know what the sad part is? Sometimes i still catch myself thinking about our life together and how we would be if he actually loved me, but then i soon realize that he used me in every way possible, horrendously, and that people in general, suck
That's pretty much why i want to off myself, i mean, i wanted to since i was a teenager, but now i am 110% sure
Oh yeah, and i'll be paying off that debt well into 2029! If anyone is curious to know :) pretty stupid huh?
You think i stopped there? I kept chasing after him, convincing myself it was okay and that he'll love me back someday, got myself 80k in debt because he wanted to start a car business but he couldn't take the loan himself as he was still studying (the business- to no surprise there - failed)
For the last 2 years i gave him everything i can think of in hopes he would love me back, money, sex, time, love, emotional and financial support (i gave him a monthly salary from my paycheck, so he doesnt have to get a side job and can focus of his studies), and when i finally got fed up and asked for his help to pay off the debt with me since this was a shared business between us, he said and i quote "i don't know where this is coming from! Why are you suddenly obsessed with me paying you, are you off your meds again?" And called me selfish because i don't see that he is financially struggling right now, even though he just graduated and got hired immediately (he's a doctor, now in surgical residency, and doesn't have ongoing med school debts becuae he was a scholarship student)
So he basically called me crazy and selfish for asking for help, and you know what the sad part is? Sometimes i still catch myself thinking about our life together and how we would be if he actually loved me, but then i soon realize that he used me in every way possible, horrendously, and that people in general, suck
That's pretty much why i want to off myself, i mean, i wanted to since i was a teenager, but now i am 110% sure
Oh yeah, and i'll be paying off that debt well into 2029! If anyone is curious to know :) pretty stupid huh?