Venting Pregnant and suicidal

[Hayalet]

I feel selfish being so depressed pregnant. I tried to hang myself, I won't say when. But that didn't work out cause I was caught. How come my kids aren't enough? If I take medication it takes my personality away. If I get counseling I have to go through loop holes with insurance and then have to go through different people to find the right counselor. If I do weed my kid could get taken at the end of my pregnancy. How do you cope with this illness? It literally cripples me. My plan would be somewhere near the ocean and overdose on heroin. That way its peaceful. And the last thing I see is the peaceful ocean, and the last thing I'd hear are the waves crashing. I'd hope no one with a weak mind or young would find me.

 

[Meretlein]

Do you want this pregnancy?

One way I cope with depression is exercise. Just going for a light jog to this bakery was very therapeutic for me.

 

[nooo2]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, depression is really fucking scary and fucked up and I don't wish it on anyone, not even my enemies. You have a child on the way though, and that's a big deal. My advice would be to seek out help and take the medication so you can fight for your child. And maybe once you give birth to her/him, maybe that will cure your depression.

 

[Hayalet]

Do you want this pregnancy?

One way I cope with depression is exercise. Just going for a light jog to this bakery was very therapeutic for me.

Yea, I want the baby to get a chance to make a choice. I dont believe in abortion. I met this guy through escorting and I thought I was finally happy cause he could deal with this disorder. Turns out he's married and he's saying he had a viosectomy. I have three kids on my own. I plan on getting them to 18 before committing. And this baby would be good with him by then. I cant jog cause I'm high risk but I've wanted to go for walks. I just want to get this baby here......I may try that thanks......but I'm not sure how much more of my illness I can take. I'm 29 and It's eating me alive. I cant keep a job. I'm angry or sad most the time and it's so much to deal with day to day.

medication

I'm really scared to take medication. I tried before for my other kids. But it altered my personality. And if I so much as forgot a dose I went manic. Marijuana usually gets me through but I quit wheni found out. I'm scared if I take meds there would be birth defects. I'd never forgive myself.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, depression is really fucking scary and fucked up and I don't wish it on anyone, not even my enemies. You have a child on the way though, and that's a big deal. My advice would be to seek out help and take the medication so you can fight for your child. And maybe once you give birth to her/him, maybe that will cure your depression.

Thank you.... this is my fourth. I wish my kids were enough. I just really want to get the baby here. And then my plan is to get my first three to 18....and then go
Thanks for responding