I recently signed a lease with my girlfriend and we've moved to an apartment much closer to my university. It's been a bit tough but we've made it through. I can't lie, I'm somewhat happy to have a place to call my own, and the chores are less than I had when I was living with my mom because it doesn't get as dirty as fast.
BUT, and there's always a but, I can't bring myself to even try to CTB anymore. I don't think I could forgive myself for, 1, leaving my girlfriend alone on the lease, rent, and bills, she literally couldn't do it. They probably would evict her, which would be equally terrible because she has nowhere to go, and 2. scarring my girlfriend if she comes in and sees my body. She would be the only person to find me. No one else visits, and she spends every moment she's not working or busy usually with me.
With that, I think I'm going to regretfully have to stay alive even longer than I had hoped for. I lose health insurance soon, and with it, my access to therapy, so that will be interesting to see play out as I don't have the funds for therapy out of pocket. I think I'm going to spiral very soon too. My classes are very hard, and I don't know ho.w well I could perform. I missed a part due to stressing in class about the move (this was before), and missed him describing how to do something, and he gave me a really condescending email when I asked about it. This next phase of life will be eye-opening, and probably miserable. Wish me luck.
BUT, and there's always a but, I can't bring myself to even try to CTB anymore. I don't think I could forgive myself for, 1, leaving my girlfriend alone on the lease, rent, and bills, she literally couldn't do it. They probably would evict her, which would be equally terrible because she has nowhere to go, and 2. scarring my girlfriend if she comes in and sees my body. She would be the only person to find me. No one else visits, and she spends every moment she's not working or busy usually with me.
With that, I think I'm going to regretfully have to stay alive even longer than I had hoped for. I lose health insurance soon, and with it, my access to therapy, so that will be interesting to see play out as I don't have the funds for therapy out of pocket. I think I'm going to spiral very soon too. My classes are very hard, and I don't know ho.w well I could perform. I missed a part due to stressing in class about the move (this was before), and missed him describing how to do something, and he gave me a really condescending email when I asked about it. This next phase of life will be eye-opening, and probably miserable. Wish me luck.
