Post-SH clarity

[Ash]

I'm not saying this to encourage others to self harm - in fact, I wish I'd never started but that would mean turning the clock back some three decades and unless I can take my knowledge back with me to make different choices, I never ever want to be a teenager again... Sorry, bit of a tangent there, which kind of undermines the point I want to make, but after cutting, I often enter a state of clarity and heightened awareness. I'm more eloquent, more able to make decisions, prioritise and perform tasks. I concede that sometimes I panic and it all turns into an emotional mess but I can't help but feel good about what I've done - or maybe more able to cope with the world - when I feel like this

Is that the endorphins? I don't feel high, certainly not compared to recent experiences with some genuine prescription medication, and it's nothing like past physical achievements e.g. climbing mountains. But I do like it.

</ musings>

 

[dumb]

hi! although i'm still a teenager, i know what you mean :[ for a short while i feel motivated to do stuff post-sh. like studying for an upcoming exam or cleaning, showering etc. it's an addiction like any other so i guess it's understandable that we feel "relief" after sh. it's odd. the brain works in fascinating ways i guess.. :/

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

Sounds like your cutting is activating your parasympathetic nervous system - the "I'm safe and I can rest"-system - which can happen when there's a potent stimulus that are demanding us to be present, such as pain. Maybe you've also come to associate the cutting with having control/self-soothing and thus feeling safe after having done it.

 

[Ash]

Sounds like your cutting is activating your parasympathetic nervous system - the "I'm safe and I can rest"-system - which can happen when there's a potent stimulus that are demanding us to be present, such as pain. Maybe you've also come to associate the cutting with having control/self-soothing and thus feeling safe after having done it.

That's really interesting: thank you.

 

[Ash]

And it's gone

 

[damyon]

I remember reading about something similar in an old soviet book about dealing with fear during intense battles (it was a practical guide, not a documentary book).
The book suggested that if one found themselves overwhelmed by emotions and panic, they should inflict minor harm upon themselves and concentrate on the resulting pain.

I have no idea how it works biochemically, but I believe it has something to do with helping you deal with dissociation.

 

[Ash]

I remember reading about something similar in an old soviet book about dealing with fear during intense battles (it was a practical guide, not a documentary book).
The book suggested that if one found themselves overwhelmed by emotions and panic, they should inflict minor harm upon themselves and concentrate on the resulting pain.

I have no idea how it works biochemically, but I believe it has something to do with helping you deal with dissociation.

One of the few useful techniques I learnt on the inpatient ward was to hold my wrists under the cold tap if I start to disassociate.