Positivism in the trash

[Zoya]

Today that day...

I feel that I don't belong to this world, everything is modest, I wonder if there is a place where I feel good, where I am not judged and I don't have to see the disgusting reality.
I'm sick of seeing how they talk about others, of seeing that nobody can make mistakes, of seeing vanity, of seeing that they only care about themselves, about the physical, about the ephemeral.

I am tired of seeing that some are happy and others are not, of seeing the gluttony of some and seeing that others are dying of hunger.
Of seeing that some have a warm place to rest and others die of cold.
I'm sick of the fact that to "fit in" I can't be me, because it's just bad.
I'm sick of the damn society and the fact that they think money buys everything.
I'm sick of fucking humanity, of knowing how disgusting and bad human beings can be.

There are days when I can't stand it anymore and positivism goes to waste.

I wish I had the pants to stop living and leave all this shit behind, but I can't, not yet.
I feel so bad today.

What do you think is behind death?

 

[GoBack]

Fuck knows dear

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I hear you. Feel similar myself much of the time recently, despite my efforts to be more positive.
What's behind death? Life, traveller, but not for you, me or us, for whomever comes next...
But hey, no one really knows the answer to that one.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I can totally understand where you are coming from Zoya.

You mention that positivism goes to waste. I don't want to jump the gun but I'm guessing that you might be talking about social media to an extent? If so I'd take what you said a step further, and say that those folks never had it in the first place; especially if you feel that they judge you unfairly.

"Positivity" isn't bad itself but it does get overused a lot online. Being positive is about trying to be kind and just, well, nice? But the crowd who preach about it tend to get irritated, angry and sometimes aggressive when someone else displays any form of upset or misery. The so-called "Positive vibes" movement isn't about promoting positivity at all but about suppressing negativity. That's not positive at all... Or healthy. It's fake. I can see why you get frustrated by it.

Emotions are on a spectrum, and like any spectrum there are 2 extremes. Being happy all of the time (or pretending to be) is just as bad, as being in a low mood all of the time. Your emotions need to be balanced for you to be content; part of that means letting people express their upset, or actually letting folks be themselves as you've talked about. Expecting people to bottle up (perfectly normal and human) negative emotions does the opposite of that - it's detrimental and dangerous.

We don't need a positivity movement. We need a "talk, open up and express your emotions like a human being" movement.

Now for your point about being able to find a place where you are not going to be judged: Sanctioned Suicide is one of those places. I hope this helps.