lifecouldbedream
Student
- Oct 8, 2021
- 144
Schedule: 4 days on, 3 days off (dose on MTWT)
Dose: 200mg ground B+ psilocybe cubensis
I seem to have a high natural tolerance to mushrooms so this is my perfect dose, I can feel a mood elevation but it's still mostly sub-perceptual. Your mileage will vary.
I highly suspect that I have autism spectrum disorder, but have not been diagnosed. Highly suicidal and depressed.
Other substances taken:
For the first 2 weeks, I still felt very suicidal. Additionally, I must note that I have attempted suicide 8 months ago and ever since then I keep getting "daydreams" of my family finding me dead and their reactions, or I would frequently worry that my best friend had committed suicide and what my reaction would be if I found her dead. I assume this was a way of my guilt expressing itself.
Negative thought patterns have decreased significantly, I no longer go into illogical thought loops and if they do show up I can quickly stop them. These suicide "daydreams" are also almost completely nonexistent now, and I feel like life is worth living.
I have also started to do small amounts of exercise whereas before I was sitting down all day at my PC. Whereas before I could not tolerate doing exercise I now take pleasure in going for runs or doing pushups.
I am more grounded in conversations. Before, I would frequently obsess over what the other person was feeling or how they would think of me. This was the worst when talking to the girl I liked as I would obsess over what the right thing to say was. Now I am more down to earth and I am much more "indifferent" to the outcome of things, I am myself and do not obsess over what could go wrong.
I have noticed this makes life much more tolerable as well, instead of getting upset over something I just stop and find a solution or wait until its over.
Dose: 200mg ground B+ psilocybe cubensis
I seem to have a high natural tolerance to mushrooms so this is my perfect dose, I can feel a mood elevation but it's still mostly sub-perceptual. Your mileage will vary.
I highly suspect that I have autism spectrum disorder, but have not been diagnosed. Highly suicidal and depressed.
Other substances taken:
- 1,000mg 1:1 Lion's mane extract, was taken daily but recently reduced to only taking it on the same days as the cubensis mushrooms, as I was worried of any possible side effects from taking LM everyday.
- 2 pills of RealMushroom's "D2Z" capsules, which in total contain 2,000 IU of vitamin D2, 30mg of zinc bisglycinate, 215 mg of Reishi extract and 215 mg of Chaga extract. Also used to take everyday but now take 4 days on, 3 days off with the other mushrooms just for sychronicity.
- 400mg agmatine sulfate taken daily. Keeps my caffeine and cannabis tolerance very low even with daily use of both, and also clears up the feeling of being "overwhelmed" by the world.
- Cold brew coffee, consumed daily with 1-3 day breaks every week at random.
- Cannabis, smoked in small amounts once daily with 1-3 day breaks every week at random.
For the first 2 weeks, I still felt very suicidal. Additionally, I must note that I have attempted suicide 8 months ago and ever since then I keep getting "daydreams" of my family finding me dead and their reactions, or I would frequently worry that my best friend had committed suicide and what my reaction would be if I found her dead. I assume this was a way of my guilt expressing itself.
Negative thought patterns have decreased significantly, I no longer go into illogical thought loops and if they do show up I can quickly stop them. These suicide "daydreams" are also almost completely nonexistent now, and I feel like life is worth living.
I have also started to do small amounts of exercise whereas before I was sitting down all day at my PC. Whereas before I could not tolerate doing exercise I now take pleasure in going for runs or doing pushups.
I am more grounded in conversations. Before, I would frequently obsess over what the other person was feeling or how they would think of me. This was the worst when talking to the girl I liked as I would obsess over what the right thing to say was. Now I am more down to earth and I am much more "indifferent" to the outcome of things, I am myself and do not obsess over what could go wrong.
I have noticed this makes life much more tolerable as well, instead of getting upset over something I just stop and find a solution or wait until its over.
