Discussion {Poll} Why do you want to kill yourself?

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

I'm a complete autistic low iq loser (unironically) and can't work because of severe physical and mental disabilities. Due to this no women like me. I'm just so sick of being alone and companionless I might as well commit a Ronnie Mcnutt once my parents die.

Anyways, why do you want to kill yourself?

 

[Morte]

Being alone and without money are problems that contribute to each other, because I have no one to share my frustrations with and I don't have money to distract myself. Loneliness sucks, but I could ignore it if I had money.

 

[neonzebra]

A bit of everything, but loneliness at the top.

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

don't have money to distract myself. Loneliness sucks, but I could ignore it if I had money.

As in you want money for copes to distract yourself? If so I can vouch it does help me a bit. I'm lucky in the regard that my parents let me buy tons of toys and stuff with their credit card.

Are you a NEET or a wagie?

A bit of everything, but loneliness at the top.

Brutal. Do your parents know you're suicidal?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I voted "other" because I want to escape existence asap as life simply isn't meant for me. Everybody in this world wants to work hard and fight and be resilient but I never wanted to do anything. I have not once ever voluntarily wanted to do anything in life. I never wanted to go through with school, I never wanted to do university and I don't want to work but unfortunately I'm forced to do all of these things. I genuinely have no desire to do anything in life and I've been like this since day 1.

Additionally, I'm scared of suffering and I see me suffering as a bad thing. I believe that an earlier death is better than a later death for me as then my suffering would be reduced. I just can't be like everybody else who thinks that some amount of suffering is beautiful and is worth it.

I suspect that me thinking in this way is due to me being autistic but I don't know

 

[Morte]

As in you want money for copes to distract yourself? If so I can vouch it does help me a bit. I'm lucky in the regard that my parents let me buy tons of toys and stuff with their credit card.

I'm a neet and my parents gives me the basics, but I can't buy expensive things, my computer is bad, my clothes are bad, my phone is bad. There are so many stuff i wanted, i like toys too.

I voted "other" because I want to escape existence asap as life simply isn't meant for me. Everybody in this world wants to work hard and fight and be resilient but I never wanted to do anything. I have not once ever voluntarily wanted to do anything in life. I never wanted to go through with school, I never wanted to do university and I don't want to work but unfortunately I'm forced to do all of these things. I genuinely have no desire to do anything in life and I've been like this since day 1.

Additionally, I'm scared of suffering and I see me suffering as a bad thing. I believe that an earlier death is better than a later death for me as then my suffering would be reduced. I just can't be like everybody else who thinks that some amount of suffering is beautiful and is worth it.

I suspect that me thinking in this way is due to me being autistic but I don't know

I can't imagine working 8 hours a day, for years, without going insane. How do people accept this? It's completely alien to me. I've worked like this for a year and it was hellish days.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Financial troubles after a big failure in life are making me suicidal. Everything else would be just great.

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

I'm a neet and my parents gives me the basics, but I can't buy expensive things, my computer is bad, my clothes are bad, my phone is bad. There are so many stuff i wanted, i like toys too.

That's really too bad. I take what I have for granite. Are you in a third world country? Do your parents have any excess money so you can buy something to keep you busy at least?

Everybody in this world wants to work hard and fight and be resilient but I never wanted to do anything.

I don't blame you.

I suspect that me thinking in this way is due to me being autistic but I don't know

I don't want to work but unfortunately I'm forced to do all of these things.

Do you have parents to stay with? If not, are you able to get spergbucks from the government?

Financial troubles after a big failure in life are making me suicidal. Everything else would be just great.

What's wrong with you financially?

Financial troubles after a big failure in life are making me suicidal. Everything else would be just great.

What's wrong with you financially?

 

[Morte]

That's really too bad. I take what I have for granite. Are you in a third world country? Do your parents have any excess money so you can buy something to keep you busy at least?

My dad is the only one in the family who has a lot of money, but he won't buy me expensive things. A while ago he was calling me names because I didn't have a good job. He's toxic towards me most of the time, so I hate having to ask him for money, it's like being trapped in an abusive relationship.
I live in a third world country, to make things worse. Even to get a shitty job i have to face fierce competition, otherwise i'll have to settle for being a slave, literally.

 

[neonzebra]

Brutal. Do your parents know you're suicidal?

My mother is dead - she didn't know when she was alive because she would so often go off the rails if we talked about my life being difficult in any way - impossible conversation.
My father doesn't know because I barely know the guy and his role in my life has only been the occasional visit, one phonecall at Christmas, and being sent money. I did try to message him and connect with him and open up about depression recently but from his response I don't think he has any clue about mental health. He is also profoundly unwell with a degenerative illness so I don't want to overload him with my problems.

 

[bernara]

tired

 

[outrider567]

Death of longtime girlfriend 2.5 years ago, still in shock

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

A lot, but mostly loneliness.

 

[targz]

I voted "other" because I want to escape existence asap as life simply isn't meant for me. Everybody in this world wants to work hard and fight and be resilient but I never wanted to do anything. I have not once ever voluntarily wanted to do anything in life. I never wanted to go through with school, I never wanted to do university and I don't want to work but unfortunately I'm forced to do all of these things. I genuinely have no desire to do anything in life and I've been like this since day 1.

Additionally, I'm scared of suffering and I see me suffering as a bad thing. I believe that an earlier death is better than a later death for me as then my suffering would be reduced. I just can't be like everybody else who thinks that some amount of suffering is beautiful and is worth it.

I suspect that me thinking in this way is due to me being autistic but I don't know

100% No interest in living, scared of the plethora of random physical ailments that await, uninterested continuing to work all the time and spending the downtime on pointless hobbies.

Also like this for as long as I remember.
However I'm not autistic!

 

[Grim days]

Did everything "right" growing up but just got ignored, used, and abused. Always told my medical issues are in my head, up until I was actively dying in hospital. Missed out on so much due to isolation and pain.
Tired of fighting. Everything just gets worse over time, no matter what I do.

 

[cotton]

Pain makes it hard... If injuries got worse and pain got worse, who wouldn't have enough of it, like, it would be impossible to deal with pain that was in the 8/9/10 out of 10 range for like many years day after day.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Loneliness but also because I just really hate myself. Like even if I wasn't myself, I would consider him, who is me, to be one of the objectively worst people who has ever lived. There's so much evil, hatred, greed, laziness, and other unsavory traits lurking within me that can't be resolved without ending me. The part I hate the most about me is that he (me) is solely to blame for ruining my life through sabotage and incompetence. I am also my harshest critic, and none of it is ever constructive. I am my worst enemy. My most brutal bully. Why wouldn't I want to kill this tormentor of mine? Why should I have to be forced to forgive my biggest abuser? Why should he get to get away with a happy life just because he happens to be me? As I've said before I feel like I have been constantly split between two selves, both of which are equally evil and equally stupid. Also I never know which one I am. All I know is that I hate him and myself and he hates me and himself too.

The only time I ever even came close to merging these two quantum selves was when I almost had a chance for my first relationship but since that failed we are now further apart than ever. I can't wait to kill him (me) just so he can stop bothering me (him).

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't blame you.

It's involuntary but I don't blame myself either. I'm anti suffering to an extreme degree and I see all suffering as bad. It's so weird for me that I live in a pro suffering world despite me being anti suffering.

Do you have parents to stay with? If not, are you able to get spergbucks from the government?

Unfortunately, I do live with parents. If I was independent, I would have ordered SN and killed myself already. Also, I do get spergbucks from the government but my mum uses it all on herself and still expects me to be normal enough to wage slave

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What's wrong with you financially?

I have to rot at home in my best years instead of being able to live my life without having to worry about money. My big goal was to have enough not later than 50y/o. Becoming a wage-slave isn't an option that's not a life either. Literally, that's a failed life for me and every single thing that goes wrong again can push me over the edge to CTB.

 

[TANETS]

Loneliness probably has been a contributor but I'm kind of over being lonely, and find it kind of comforting. For me it's my intrusive thoughts, and paranoia about the state of the world (wars, humanitarian crisis, hatred.)

 

[broth0100]

Cant live w myself anymore im the worst fcking roommate ever. And this body is giving me hell

 

[AngelTears]

I keep losing people. It's so fucking harsh to get to know and love someone and then have them disappear. Ik I'm not perfect and I make mistakes.. but nobody deserves that..

I also just am tired of life. I can't live it sober and it's just too much.

I hate that I try to help people while I can't even help myself.
I keep losing people. It's so fucking harsh to get to know and love someone and then have them disappear. Ik I'm not perfect and I make mistakes.. but nobody deserves that..

I also just am tired of life. I can't live it sober and it's just too much.

I hate that I try to help people while I can't even help myself.