Venting Police or ctb?

[GoneGoneGone]

First, I realize that this is not a domestic violence forum so I apologize if this post is not specifically on topic. But I also have SN in front of me and wanna take a stat dose.

As some of you know, I'm an expat and my partner, expat as well, is frustrated that I'm depressed. What I didn't say is that prior to me he had two SOs who ended up suicidal (one was hospitalized). So he either attracts girls with depression or he drives them to crazy reactions.

Two days ago we had an argument because I forgot a load of laundry in the washing machine. I ranted that he focuses on small issues with a magnifying glass and it's making me feel incompetent and suicidal. I said I'm suicidal and how come I'm yet another person driven to suicidality.

From that comment he didn't get worried that I'm suicidal, he is simply irritated that I said he drives his partners to depression. So today he pesters and pesters whether I truly believe that he drove them to depression, so that I say yes and leave the house. It is noteworthy to mention that I'm partially agoraphobic and going out to new places is very cognitively taxing.

So I said if he doesn't stop tormenting me,
I'm calling the police to fix this argument.
I literally have no where to go and him prodding me with questions like a petulant child is making me want to end my life...

Please help? Thank you

 

[PeachBlossoms2310]

Hey there, I was reading some of your posts. You mentioned that you could live off your properties in a simple life if you wanted to. Why not do that? Just leave your partner and father. Enjoy a simple life as you could.

You mentioned that you are an expat and pretty attractive-looking. Why not leave everything that is tormenting you behind and start afresh?

Just my two cents, something you could consider. At least you are financially well/stable, something not everyone (especially here) have.

 

[yetme]

if he is the problem, then just leave
if you are the problem then nothing you do will help

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thank you. It's because the properties are in my home country, and there is the Corona curfew. I'm stuck here till the end of May. Should I call the police?

 

[PeachBlossoms2310]

Thank you. It's because the properties are in my home country, and there is the Corona curfew. I'm stuck here till the end of May. Should I call the police?

Are you dependent on him? If no, call the police, tough it out till end of May and return to your home country once the curfew is over.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

if he is the problem, then just leave
if you are the problem then nothing you do will help

But if there were two girls before me who became suicidal?
I had 2 exes: one I helped academically since high school to get into college, did his projects, helped him graduate etc. The second guy, I got him a job at my workplace, did his taxes etc, helped him build his own business, and is now quite rich. I always helped my partners grow. For once I wanted to be helped and carried rather than to act like a mom instead of like a partner.

Are you dependent on him? If no, call the police, tough it out till end of May and return to your home country once the curfew is over.

I'm not dependent on him financially, thank God, but I would prefer to be, you know, top 5% with him than upper 40% alone.

 

[yetme]

But if there were two girls before me who became suicidal?
I had 2 exes: one I helped academically since high school to get into college, did his projects, helped him graduate etc. The second guy, I got him a job at my workplace, did his taxes etc, helped him build his own business, and is now quite rich. I always helped my partners grow. For once I wanted to be helped and carried rather than to act like a mom instead of like a partner.

then just leave this person. there's no point to spend your life with a leeche

 

[cant cry]

Toxic people are gonna poison you and it's never worth it, no matter what good things they also supply you with. Can you call an abuse hotline, or women's shelter? You don't have to live there but could get counseling and other resources.

Also you might consider this amazing book by Lundy Bancroft "Why Does He Do That?" It's written for women who are unaware they're in abusive relationships with men and it was required reading for counselors at a women's shelter I stayed at.

It's a phenomenal book for detecting covert abuse in ANYONE, men or women, and it changed my understanding of people forever.
Best of luck

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Guys I'm sorry, thank you for all the resources, but I think I will do a stat dose. I cannot believe

 

[PeachBlossoms2310]

Guys I'm sorry, thank you for all the resources, but I think I will do a stat dose. I cannot believe

Do you need someone to talk to on your way out?

 

[Donk]

are you taking your SN now? sounds like you are doing this on impulse. maybe you should follow the proper protocol before you take the SN.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I called the police

 

[Iloveyouall]

What did they say ?

 

[GoneGoneGone]

So the police told me that because I have depression and panic attacks, I can get a psychiatric nurse to talk to me.
I explained the abuse was coming from his side, but of course since I'm the one with MH problems, they believed everything he said.
They said I could also go to a hotel if I paid for it myself. Why, he has been tormenting me
I think I'm ready to take SN. I'm loaded on Valium, Xanax, and Olanzapine.
The police clearly not helping. Where's my life?
I met so many wonderful people here, im
Sorry I won't be able to say goodbye

 

[Iloveyouall]

Maybe he's tormenting you not because of you. It doesn't seem like it's your fault, he might be demented as you're not the first person he fucked up. If it get to the point you're considering to take SN or calling the police then you should just leave your place and take a hotel room or find another place as police suggested. If this is not possible, then just tell your partner that you don't want him to talk to you anymore or even be in the same room, that everything is over, that you're staying only until the end of curfew and then shut all contact.
Don't do anything on impulse please. It won't go "well" and you'll just end up damaging yourself even more and you'll be brought to hospital and then maybe psych ward. Please reconsider.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

But when we got together I said I cannot go through more heartbreak and he told me he will stay with me no matter mental health. I could have stayed at home. And now he said it is over. He just wanted pussy
I'm taking it. Will reply if I can

 

[Iloveyouall]

Yeah, he is an asshole, a liar and a coward. He is not the first and won't be the last piece of shit on this planet.
Please don't take it, it's not going to work. Maybe it's dumb to say but he isn't worth you ctb because of him.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thank you everyone for your support. I took too much Valium, Xanax, Olanzapine and Zolpidem so I guess I will sleep...

Im sorry for causing such a ruckus. Love and peace

 

[Iloveyouall]

It's ok, it's better you cause a ruckus than you ctb on impulse.

 

[PeachBlossoms2310]

We'll see you in the morning. <3

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thank you everyone who stayed through my meltdown and took the time to give me advice. I guess for the moment I will try to control myself, wait for the curfew to end, and give my life a shot at home.

The reason why I don't wanna go back to my hometown is that I'm unmarried and this is extremely frowned upon, my family already heard rumors that "who knows how many men she screwed abroad," or "they all got milk but didn't buy this cow," so these were very hurtful. So for me going back home and dealing with this gossip is heartbreaking. A couple of weeks ago I promised myself to take the SN before having to deal with these mean rumors.

 

[PeachBlossoms2310]

Feel free to hit me up for a chat should you need it, those are very unkind words for a woman to hear.

 

[Iloveyouall]

The reason why I don't wanna go back to my hometown is that I'm unmarried and this is extremely frowned upon, my family already heard rumors that "who knows how many men she screwed abroad," or "they all got milk but didn't buy this cow," so these were very hurtful. So for me going back home and dealing with this gossip is heartbreaking. A couple of weeks ago I promised myself to take the SN before having to deal with these mean rumors.

Already told you, these people fucking suck if they have nothing better to do. It's pretty easy to say but they should be nothing to you, those people don't deserve any respect. You're not an object in a store front waiting for someone to buy you. This is just disgusting.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I apologize for the bump, but same story as yesterday...

Partner just said he'll kick me out after the curfew. I have been used by a man for a third time, for 2 years. I have had cancer and surgery which was pretty much akin to maiming for a woman, and I promised myself not to trust a man ever again. And I asked him if he was sure because I was to move countries, and I said I cannot go through another break-up, and now he is very matter of fact that he doesn't care where I go or what will happen to me, that I just have to leave. I asked is this international dating, you just move someone over, and he said he doesn't care.

I want to do a stat dose but I am scared. Will someone sit with me through? I may or may not be able to do it, I do not want to involve anyone who does not feel comfortable. I apologize in advance.
I showered took some Xanax and Valium.
I told my mother I would do it. She is online.
I told my so called partner I would do it, he went to sleep.

I realize it's ridiculous to ask someone to sit through with me, so I will try to do it alone.

If I don't log in tmr mods please ban me.

Good luck to everyone