Police came to my house...

[lovemelovemenot]

I made the mistake of letting a friend know of my eventual plans. I thought if I could tell them sooner they wouldn't be so surprised later, but I didn't think they would go that far! A cop came to do a welfare check, and thankfully I wasn't home at the time and was able to reassure him I was okay over the phone so he could leave.
And if I'm being honest with how I feel, I should've never told that friend anything. I tried talking to him afterwards and ya know what he said? "I'm not in the position to be leaned on by someone else right now." Fair enough, I guess. But I was always there for him regardless of what I was going through... And now my brother knows I've been feeling this way again. He told me suicide was a selfish decision. And how that would affect him...
But what about me? I'm in pain every fucking day. I have been for the longest time. I just want it to be over already. This "friend" didn't save my life or do me any favors. Just post-poned the inevtiable.

 

[Darkhaven]

Yup, it sucks that we can't be more open with others without being treated like mental freaks.
I wonder if death and suicide will ever be accepted as a normal thing and a possibly rational decision.
We sure have a long way to go.

 

[andy69]

That I happened to me. The polic came in my house with guns drawn. I was put into a handcuffs and driven to the emergency room.

 

[woxihuanni]

Fuck. Them. Both.

Truth of the matter is, nobody who will truly suffer when you die criticises you because you want to die. There is a zillion ways to support somebody so that they might actually make it through another day, and none of them involves telling them to fuck off or that they are selfish.

 

[Kronos]

Yup, it sucks that we can't be more open with others without being treated like mental freaks.
I wonder if death and suicide will ever be accepted as a normal thing and a possibly rational decision.
We sure have a long way to go.

It will, once we fuck up our planet so badly that people would try to lower the population in any way possible.

I made the mistake of letting a friend know of my eventual plans. I thought if I could tell them sooner they wouldn't be so surprised later, but I didn't think they would go that far! A cop came to do a welfare check, and thankfully I wasn't home at the time and was able to reassure him I was okay over the phone so he could leave.
And if I'm being honest with how I feel, I should've never told that friend anything. I tried talking to him afterwards and ya know what he said? "I'm not in the position to be leaned on by someone else right now." Fair enough, I guess. But I was always there for him regardless of what I was going through... And now my brother knows I've been feeling this way again. He told me suicide was a selfish decision. And how that would affect him...
But what about me? I'm in pain every fucking day. I have been for the longest time. I just want it to be over already. This "friend" didn't save my life or do me any favors. Just post-poned the inevtiable.

I understand you completely, I am in pain almost every day myself. We are here for you. If you need a buddy to chat with for whatever, just PM me.

 

[Morphosis]

That I happened to me. The polic came in my house with guns drawn. I was put into a handcuffs and driven to the emergency room.

Holy shite. Had you murdered someone? Guns drawn ffs. Did they keep you handcuffed for long?
How traumatic, how on earth can they think that helps?

 

[andy69]

Holy shite. Had you murdered someone? Guns drawn ffs. Did they keep you handcuffed for long?
How traumatic, how on earth can they think that helps?

I live in Louisiana. They worry about suicide by cop. If I were black, they probably would have shot me.

 

[Jean Améry]

In this society with the so called 'legal duty' on the part of the government to prevent suicide stories such as yours are not surprising. I think any adult should be free to do whatever he/she wants aslong as there's no danger for others but alas that is not the case.

Telling those one knows personally of one's plans is inviting all sorts of meddling and will likely have unpleasant consequences. I've told one friend how I felt without going into much detail but I made sure to emphasize I didn't make a final decision yet and I was seriously considering the effect it would have on a few family-members I care about. That satisfied him but I sure as hell am not going to announce my impending death to him or anyone-else.

Doing so will lead to either intervention by the state and psychiatry (unholy alliance) or unnecessary guilt on those you told. If they knew you were going to do this they could have 'prevented' it and by society's ideology it's what they should have done.

I'm not sure one can reasonably expect those who care about you to be fine with the news of one's impending death and be philosophical enough to examine your rationality and regard it as a legitimate personal decision.

As to the supposed 'selfishness' of the act: humans are selfish creatures. Clearly most suicides are motivated by selfish motives (if only the desire to save oneself further misery) but the desire to prevent another's suicide is at least as selfish so in my view they cancel each-other out.

 

[gingerplum]

Not only did your friend not do you any favors, he caused you more distress. Notifying the police is pretty much the easiest way for him to say, "Hey, I tried to intervene," for the benefit of others, and to assuage his own guilt over basically being a terrible, shitty friend. Not only did he not support you, he betrayed your confidence and trust.

You're lucky you weren't admitted to a lockdown psych unit.

I know it would be nice to have the people that you trust rally around you, or at least just empathize, but it never works that way. Unless it's a cry for attention, acknowledging your suicidal ideation will almost invariably make a bad situation worse.

I'm sorry your friend let you down; that's really disheartening. At the same time it's what I've come to expect... outsiders can't possibly understand. Save your venting and frustration for this forum, where you can at least find compassion and understanding among like-minded people.

 

[snorli]

I live in Louisiana. They worry about suicide by cop. If I were black, they probably would have shot me.

Darn, the irony of it all .

 

[sadgirl2002]

Your friend is a fucking bastard, it's selfish of them to want you to stay alive and suffer for their sake. This is just a lesson to all of us to never tell anybody of our suicide plans.

 

[Empty Smile]

This is why NOBODY outside of this site, knows my intention.

Fucking good samaritans.

 

[Final Escape]

I made the mistake of letting a friend know of my eventual plans. I thought if I could tell them sooner they wouldn't be so surprised later, but I didn't think they would go that far! A cop came to do a welfare check, and thankfully I wasn't home at the time and was able to reassure him I was okay over the phone so he could leave.
And if I'm being honest with how I feel, I should've never told that friend anything. I tried talking to him afterwards and ya know what he said? "I'm not in the position to be leaned on by someone else right now." Fair enough, I guess. But I was always there for him regardless of what I was going through... And now my brother knows I've been feeling this way again. He told me suicide was a selfish decision. And how that would affect him...
But what about me? I'm in pain every fucking day. I have been for the longest time. I just want it to be over already. This "friend" didn't save my life or do me any favors. Just post-poned the inevtiable.

I had this happen too, luckily I was able to talk them out of taking me to the psych place.

 

[Rachel74]

Happened to sleepydog on here too and he's is the uk. They even took his N! Bastards.

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

This friend sounds like a prize prick, not in a prepared to help you at all but you doing what is best for you will affect him negatively.

 

[TAW122]

That really sucks to hear. I concur with what everyone says on this thread, there is nobody IRL that really understands and even those that claim they do, it's still really unsafe to trust that he/she would not notify the authorities (partly due to societal pressure and sometimes, legal requirements) of your plan. Furthermore, I would suggest to distance yourself from your so-called 'friend' as he betrayed your trust and dignity.

Sadly, what @gingerplum said is true, that outsiders (people IRL and not on this forum) just don't understand nor would they want to accept that suicide can be a rational decision. They will continue to see it as some disease, illness, irrationality, regardless of the circumstances or reasoning. There is just simply no winning situation in this current society. Whether that would change or not in the future, I don't know.

 

[woxihuanni]

That really sucks to hear. I concur with what everyone says on this thread, there is nobody IRL that really understands and even those that claim they do, it's still really unsafe to trust that he/she would not notify the authorities (partly due to societal pressure and sometimes, legal requirements) of your plan. Furthermore, I would suggest to distance yourself from your so-called 'friend' as he betrayed your trust and dignity.

Sadly, what @gingerplum said is true, that outsiders (people IRL and not on this forum) just don't understand nor would they want to accept that suicide can be a rational decision. They will continue to see it as some disease, illness, irrationality, regardless of the circumstances or reasoning. There is just simply no winning situation in this current society. Whether that would change or not in the future, I don't know.

I'm really wondering now if there is anybody else than me whose close friends all know what's going on. It looks like a very weird exception.

 

[LonelyLight]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I know you wanted your friend to understand. What a huge break in trust. I mean, yeah I know your friend did what he thought was right in terms of the welfare check. But to then say hes not in a position to be leaned on right now. To turn his back when you likely need him most. It's just not fair.
I'm not surprised your brother said "what about his feelings". They never think hmmm I wonder what he/she is feeling that they actually want to take their lives.
I hate how dismissed suicide is it's like don't be selfish and let's never speak of it again.
I hope your okay, you have us here anyways, its something

 

[justanotherday]

I made the mistake of letting a friend know of my eventual plans. I thought if I could tell them sooner they wouldn't be so surprised later, but I didn't think they would go that far! A cop came to do a welfare check, and thankfully I wasn't home at the time and was able to reassure him I was okay over the phone so he could leave.
And if I'm being honest with how I feel, I should've never told that friend anything. I tried talking to him afterwards and ya know what he said? "I'm not in the position to be leaned on by someone else right now." Fair enough, I guess. But I was always there for him regardless of what I was going through... And now my brother knows I've been feeling this way again. He told me suicide was a selfish decision. And how that would affect him...
But what about me? I'm in pain every fucking day. I have been for the longest time. I just want it to be over already. This "friend" didn't save my life or do me any favors. Just post-poned the inevtiable.

Yep, I had similar thing happen to me. Luckily I was not at home when my " friend ' had the police come . I learned from this to never tell anyone again.

 

[Alec]

That I happened to me. The polic came in my house with guns drawn. I was put into a handcuffs and driven to the emergency room.

This is insane! And inhumane!

 

[Libracusp_1022]

The police in the US have no idea how to handle people with mental health issues, or anything else, except to use extreme force and violence. I'm really sorry that happened to you. I agree- if you were black you'd be dead now. And as @snorli said, the irony!!!

 

[hypo666]

In the UK, in my experience the police show more sympathy and understanding than mental health workers. I don't get made to sit in a room with 'professionals' and basiically interrogated about my intentions .One time because my community mental health team had 'concerns' about me,they phoned the police and asked them to take me to a 'place of safety' {the cmht building}. So the police find me by some shops near my home {turned out the MH team had given them a photo.} and they asked me to come with them to this 'place of safety', I wasn't handcuffed they were apologetic if anything and so I got in the car with them, embarrassed really that the police were now involved with this bullshit and not wanting to put them to trouble. In the car journey turned out one of the cops was interested in politics and we sat there putting the world to rights. When we got to the 'place of safety', while the receptionist talked to two officers, the MH workers who had made the damn call in the first place completely ignored them when they came looking for me.,didn't thank them for helping.

I made a point of thanking them and shaking there hands before they left,One of the cops said 'see ya later {and said my first name', and the other one said 'good luck' and jokingly told me to stay out of trouble. Then I went in for the interrogation, where I was told how much of a risk I was, and I notice something else with MH workers, if you dare to show anger they blow it a mlliion times out of proportion and even lie about what you in fact said. One time they told a psychiatrist I had stopped taking all my meds, when the reality was I hadn't I stopped taking ONE' medication due to a nasty side effect.

I have had several encounters since with other cops and never had a bad experience with them. By the sounds of it, those in the US the cops aren't as understanding about Mental illness.

 

[woxihuanni]

The sort of person who ghosts you or hands you over to police on learning you will die, is the sort of person who has never seen you as a human being in the first place. If they can control you, and pepper you with things to 'fix' you, they are happy. Since there is no fixing you once you are ready to quit, they go berserk.

Besides many who stood by me, two who 'friend-dumped' me were those who actively contributed to my coming to this terrible place of having to die. They kept telling me what to do, teaching me the message of rejection, holding my life to modern society's fake ideal. In the end it's my responsibility yadda yadda but throwing such influence around is also responsibility.