Help (Please read fully) Serious question regarding my CTB implications ( Suicidal classmate)

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Folks, this is serious. Need your advice.

As I had mentioned, I plan to CTB by Dec / Jan, no matter what. However, there is a concern that I have.
I strongly believe that my other classmate has suicidal thoughts (I have reached the conclusion based on their Instagram stories that has peen posted, along with changing username). In addition to their behavior etc.

I understand that CTB is an individual decision. However, I'm worried that after my CTB, the other classmate would find the courage to CTB. This could, in turn, cause other classmates who may have suicidal thoughts to CTB. Another scenario is that after my CTB, they may back off from CTB.

I do not know which of the scenarios would happen. I'm mainly worried about the subsequent investigations, and the cascading consequences, and other stuff that would follow.

Ofc, I will not be aiding the other classmate's suicide intentions, nor would I let them know about this website. Also, I would not share the suicide methods with them. I will not to any of that under any circumstances.

Additionally, I'm taking these steps to ensure no one knows about this website and my CTB plans (not limited to the following):
1. Using privacy browsers to use this website (Duckduckgo).
2. Device login controls (To be extra safe).
3. Using proton mail (for obvious reasons).

What I'm mainly worried is about the consequences, that would result in other's lives being destroyed / damaged / scarred. I would not want that to happen at all.
Also, I'm concerned that after the cascading events takes place (i.e. if my suicidal classmate CTB, followed by others), they would launch an investigation into the matter, resulting in more consequences.

Again, this is a serious matter, with genuine consequences, and the after effects that I am worried about.

Folks, I seek your advice / inputs / tips regarding this situation. I really need your help. Please.

 

[bp74777]

I mean... will the subsequent consequences really matter if you're gone? I think you're just overthinking things.

 

[アホペンギン]

I mean... will the subsequent consequences really matter if you're gone? I think you're just overthinking things.

I also agree with you but whatever is still going on in the world of people who are alive should still be part of our concerns, we might really mess up the people around us if we do anything wrong or we don't time our ctb correctly..

 

[bp74777]

I also agree with you but whatever is still going on in the world of people who are alive should still be part of our concerns, we might really mess up the people around us if we do anything wrong or we don't time our ctb correctly..

I guess its different for me. I'm not in school and don't have any close friends, so I don't think many people would be affected by me choosing to leave.

 

[bangimout]

I understand your concern but I would like to reassure you by saying that not everyone who feels down or suicidal commits suicide. If the thought of it causes to much anxiety, I would recommend either waiting until you're no longer in the same class or not doing it.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

I mean... will the subsequent consequences really matter if you're gone? I think you're just overthinking things.

I'm just really concerned about the unintended consequences. Also considering the fact that my other classmate is really suicidal. This could open a can of worms.
Also, I suspect that other than 1 classmate, 2 more might be suicidal (based on my observations).
My other classmates are alive, and my decision to CTB could impact them in a worse manner. I'm looking to minimize the effect of my CTB decision. and I have to do it correctly.

 

[FuneralCry]

You cannot control what other people do and they have the right to cease existing anyway, they aren't obligated to continue existing here.
And suicide really isn't straightforward so I believe that those who managed to succeed in suicide were very determined to leave. But in general I just don't understand the view that suicide is supposedly "bad", I mean we are all going to die anyway and suicide is just the way for people to leave on their own terms, preventing all future suffering. It's compassionate supporting the right to die.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

I understand your concern but I would like to reassure you by saying that not everyone who feels down or suicidal commits suicide. If the thought of it causes to much anxiety, I would recommend either waiting until you're no longer in the same class or not doing it.

Thanks for your inputs.
I get that not everyone who feels suicidal will CTB. But I'm worried about the consequences.

Also, I'm worried about minimizing the impact of it. I do not want to mess other classmates lives because of my decision, and the subsequent consequences.

You cannot control what other people do and they have the right to cease existing anyway, they aren't obligated to continue existing here.
And suicide really isn't straightforward so I believe that those who managed to succeed in suicide were very determined to leave. But in general I just don't understand the view that suicide is supposedly "bad", I mean we are all going to die anyway and suicide is just the way for people to leave on their own terms, preventing all future suffering. It's compassionate supporting the right to die.

I completely understand your point. I fully agree that to CTB is an individual's decision.

What I'm mainly concerned is how to minimize the effects of my CTB decision. Incase after my CTB, if my other classmate decides to do the same. It would result in consequences beyond control. And because of it, my future CTB attempts would not work.

I have to time the CTB and execute it properly. If not, it would scar others and my future CTB attempts would be even more difficult.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. It's kind that you care so much about your classmates and I think it's reasonable to worry about what effect your CTB would have on them.

That said- I'm not quite sure what you hope to get in terms of advice. I expect a lot of people feel concerned about the impact their CTB might have. That's why a lot of us are still here. So- it depends- are you concerned to the point where you won't do it- for fear of what it might do to others?

Or- do you still intend to go through with it but you want reassurance that your friend will be ok? Thing is- we don't know. Like you say- it could go either way. Will it be your 'fault' though if your suicide inspires theirs? I'd say no- especially not if they are suicidal already.

It REALLY has to be up to you though. I do want to hang on for my Dad to go before I consider CTB. Not that I think he would suicide but I'm sure it would devastate him. I know I can't do that to him but- he's my father. You have to decide on whether you can hold on for your friend. Can you wait until you leave college and try and drift apart from them? I still feel bad about my friends- if I come to do it one day but I haven't seen many of them in 5 years. Some longer than 10 years. I'm hoping that would reduce the impact.

If not- then I suppose it's damage control as much as possible. But- really, I'm not sure how much we realistically can reduce the impact of a suicide. Long notes perhaps. Perhaps asking other people to look out for them.

Still- put it this way- if your classmate takes their own life before you- how do you suppose that would affect you? Are your wishes still not separate from their actions? Perhaps it legitimizes it more but ultimately- we are all responsible for our own decisions and actions.

I think it's important to consider the impact on others when we are in the headspace to be able to do that but ultimately- asides from parents- who I feel do have responsibility for the lives they chose to bring into the world- we are all independent. We can't live our lives entirely to meet the needs of others.

 

[Dot]

Honstly if u r pickng up on sgns tht thy r suicdl thn = cld b wrth chckng in wth thm

Evn if jst sayng 'hve notcd sme changs abt u & ur onlne accnts & hpe u r ok '

Havng sme1 notce thr suicdlty mght mke thm reflct on wht thy rlly wnt - whthr tht = tht thy r commttd 2 thr own plns or whthr thy r genrlly feelng terrble & in nd of sme hlp

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. It's kind that you care so much about your classmates and I think it's reasonable to worry about what effect your CTB would have on them.

That said- I'm not quite sure what you hope to get in terms of advice. I expect a lot of people feel concerned about the impact their CTB might have. That's why a lot of us are still here. So- it depends- are you concerned to the point where you won't do it- for fear of what it might do to others?

Or- do you still intend to go through with it but you want reassurance that your friend will be ok? Thing is- we don't know. Like you say- it could go either way. Will it be your 'fault' though if your suicide inspires theirs? I'd say no- especially not if they are suicidal already.

It REALLY has to be up to you though. I do want to hang on for my Dad to go before I consider CTB. Not that I think he would suicide but I'm sure it would devastate him. I know I can't do that to him but- he's my father. You have to decide on whether you can hold on for your friend. Can you wait until you leave college and try and drift apart from them? I still feel bad about my friends- if I come to do it one day but I haven't seen many of them in 5 years. Some longer than 10 years. I'm hoping that would reduce the impact.

If not- then I suppose it's damage control as much as possible. But- really, I'm not sure how much we realistically can reduce the impact of a suicide. Long notes perhaps. Perhaps asking other people to look out for them.

Still- put it this way- if your classmate takes their own life before you- how do you suppose that would affect you? Are your wishes still not separate from their actions? Perhaps it legitimizes it more but ultimately- we are all responsible for our own decisions and actions.

I think it's important to consider the impact on others when we are in the headspace to be able to do that but ultimately- asides from parents- who I feel do have responsibility for the lives they chose to bring into the world- we are all independent. We can't live our lives entirely to meet the needs of others.

It's a difficult situation indeed. Also, I worry about my classmate's future impact due to my CTB decision.
To make matters worse, I and my classmates are in the final year of univ classes. After that, most would be going for jobs. I don't wanna make it difficult for them due to my decision.

I would have held on. Sadly my condition is getting out of control as the days progress. I would have CTB way earlier. Because of my friend's / family's / relative's upcoming birthdays, I have chose Dec / Jan at max, I will not be living beyond Jan 2024, no matter what. I do not want to make their birthdays a sad day affair, so only I chose Dec / Jan. However, if my condition gets worse to the point that I have little or no control / getting too worse, I will have to CTB earlier than my planned dates.

Also, now I understand why people want to CTB. Now I have come to the belief that CTB is an individual's choice. Individuals have the right to determine their own destiny. If people want to CTB, they should be able to do so without being stopped. I really wish euthanasia was legal, sadly it is not. I do not understand why force an individual to suffer when they do not want to anymore. It's just imprisonment at this point. It's just cruel to expect individuals who are suffering to live just because of other's delusions, different pov. Anyways, I doubt they would understand our pov.

I feel like I'm just meant to suffer. I have been defamed, bullied, ignored, and a lot more. 7+ years I had hopes and I tried to sort out my mental health issues, it turned out to be futile. I have lost all hopes. I just have to endure 3-4 months more of this torture of being alive. After that it's gonna end .

Also, I have been bullied in a mentally and psychologically damaging manner for most of my school years till 12th grade. Also, I thought people would understand and support. But I've been proved wrong. I have lost hopes. I have tried to sort out my mental health issues, nothing worked. CTB is my only option now. I have nothing else.

I had hopes and aspirations, all of it is worthless now....

I am psychologically and mentally damaged beyond any hopes to recover.
I have seen the despicable side of people. I am getting paranoid.
Also, because of my uncontrollable facial expressions, 2-3 people have taken videos of me, thankfully, it looks like the video has not been posted and it has not gone viral, at least not yet (That day I was not wearing a mask, which was a big mistake, never not wearing a mask again).
If I try to tell my condition to people, they will bully me, mock me, distance themselves away from me.
At this point I won't be changing my mind at all, no matter what, I will CTB.

My current classmates are helpful and friendly (unlike those in school). Sadly I don't have hopes anymore. It's futile now.
RN I'm researching CTB options and methods. I am hiding my CTB plans from them. I haven't told my classmates about my current mental health for obvious conditions (And I will not be telling them for sure, no matter what).

I have really lost hope at this point.

RN, I'm looking to end my pain and suffering. I just want to end it. I just cannot handle it. I am losing my mind, my sanity and my self.

Life is truly a bitch. I had hopes and aspirations. They have been destroyed. Also, I care about my parents. But how long should I continue suffering? It's just getting worse and worse.

I really cannot handle it for long, I just cannot, I cannot, Cannot...
Cannot..
Just no...
no....

Honstly if u r pickng up on sgns tht thy r suicdl thn = cld b wrth chckng in wth thm

Evn if jst sayng 'hve notcd sme changs abt u & ur onlne accnts & hpe u r ok '

Havng sme1 notce thr suicdlty mght mke thm reflct on wht thy rlly wnt - whthr tht = tht thy r commttd 2 thr own plns or whthr thy r genrlly feelng terrble & in nd of sme hlp

I would have checked on them. But I have made up my mind regarding CTB and I have set the Dates to do it.
Unfortunately I'm not ok. And it's just too late at this point. Nothing will make me recover. I have lost all sorts of hopes :( .

 

[Dot]

It's a difficult situation indeed. Also, I worry about my classmate's future impact due to my CTB decision.
To make matters worse, I and my classmates are in the final year of univ classes. After that, most would be going for jobs. I don't wanna make it difficult for them due to my decision.

I would have held on. Sadly my condition is getting out of control as the days progress. I would have CTB way earlier. Because of my friend's / family's / relative's upcoming birthdays, I have chose Dec / Jan at max, I will not be living beyond Jan 2024, no matter what. I do not want to make their birthdays a sad day affair, so only I chose Dec / Jan. However, if my condition gets worse to the point that I have little or no control / getting too worse, I will have to CTB earlier than my planned dates.

Also, now I understand why people want to CTB. Now I have come to the belief that CTB is an individual's choice. Individuals have the right to determine their own destiny. If people want to CTB, they should be able to do so without being stopped. I really wish euthanasia was legal, sadly it is not. I do not understand why force an individual to suffer when they do not want to anymore. It's just imprisonment at this point. It's just cruel to expect individuals who are suffering to live just because of other's delusions, different pov. Anyways, I doubt they would understand our pov.

I feel like I'm just meant to suffer. I have been defamed, bullied, ignored, and a lot more. 7+ years I had hopes and I tried to sort out my mental health issues, it turned out to be futile. I have lost all hopes. I just have to endure 3-4 months more of this torture of being alive. After that it's gonna end .

Also, I have been bullied in a mentally and psychologically damaging manner for most of my school years till 12th grade. Also, I thought people would understand and support. But I've been proved wrong. I have lost hopes. I have tried to sort out my mental health issues, nothing worked. CTB is my only option now. I have nothing else.

I had hopes and aspirations, all of it is worthless now....

I am psychologically and mentally damaged beyond any hopes to recover.
I have seen the despicable side of people. I am getting paranoid.
Also, because of my uncontrollable facial expressions, 2-3 people have taken videos of me, thankfully, it looks like the video has not been posted and it has not gone viral, at least not yet (That day I was not wearing a mask, which was a big mistake, never not wearing a mask again).
If I try to tell my condition to people, they will bully me, mock me, distance themselves away from me.
At this point I won't be changing my mind at all, no matter what, I will CTB.

My current classmates are helpful and friendly (unlike those in school). Sadly I don't have hopes anymore. It's futile now.
RN I'm researching CTB options and methods. I am hiding my CTB plans from them. I haven't told my classmates about my current mental health for obvious conditions (And I will not be telling them for sure, no matter what).

I have really lost hope at this point.

RN, I'm looking to end my pain and suffering. I just want to end it. I just cannot handle it. I am losing my mind, my sanity and my self.

Life is truly a bitch. I had hopes and aspirations. They have been destroyed. Also, I care about my parents. But how long should I continue suffering? It's just getting worse and worse.

I really cannot handle it for long, I just cannot, I cannot, Cannot...
Cannot..
Just no...
no....

I would have checked on them. But I have made up my mind regarding CTB and I have set the Dates to do it.
Unfortunately I'm not ok. And it's just too late at this point. Nothing will make me recover. I have lost all sorts of hopes :( .

Undrstnd -- am jst sayng tht if ur ctb d8 = Dec/Jn thn mght b wrth eithr checkng in wth th/ welfre of tht persn or askng frnd 2 chck in wth thm if = 2 mch fr u

Tht wy if/whn u ctb thn th/ persn tht u r concrnd abt hs alrdy bn givn sme attntn 2 chck thy r ok etc

If thy - lke u - hve mde thr decsn thn ur ctb wll prbbly nt influnce thm 2 mch

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Undrstnd -- am jst sayng tht if ur ctb d8 = Dec/Jn thn mght b wrth eithr checkng in wth th/ welfre of tht persn or askng frnd 2 chck in wth thm if = 2 mch fr u

Tht wy if/whn u ctb thn th/ persn tht u r concrnd abt hs alrdy bn givn sme attntn 2 chck thy r ok etc

If thy - lke u - hve mde thr decsn thn ur ctb wll prbbly nt influnce thm 2 mch

I get ya. But as I had mentioned reasons, I cannot check on my other classmate.

Anyways, I appreciate ur inputs!