Help Please help!!!

[AlexKy]

I tried again partial hanging and I just can't do it. I can't put my weight in for long enough to pass out and die, I'm just to afraid, as soon as I get woozy I pull back.
I called my brother and I told him everything.
At first the words would not come out, then I just crumbled in tears and without breath. I asked him to help me die, he declined obviously.
I planned my suicide for so long, mastered the technique of partial in trial runs, all the effort at self destruction, only for SI to win in minutes.
I guess it's true that quitting becomes a habit, and should be avoided. Oh my world, how I would like to have a conversation with a person that successfully ctb, just to see how they prepared mentally.
The method doesn't matter, it's the courage to do it that's the problem, for me at least.
I see a lot of people that went to great lengths to get N, then they second guess it, they get afraid of the taste, and when the times comes get scared and flush it down the toilet.
Survivors of suicide that were close to dying, (that doctors had to revive) how did you do it, how did you prepare mentally?
PLEASE HELP? PLEASE HELP!

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

There is a video of a man doing partial on this forum, it's called "partial with so ease".

Anyway I believe you can only CTB if you are determined enough. A loot of people have done it, right? If you are not getting there, perhaps you aren't ready and should take some time.

 

[AlexKy]

When you will be ready, you will not ask such questions. Apparently, you do not really want to die.

I do want to die, it's all I can think about, it's al, that's left. The alternative is misery, I'm 100% I don't want that.

 

[PartlyHuman]

When you will be ready, you will not ask such questions. Apparently, you do not really want to die.

Tbh that's a really not nice thing to say to a person obviously struggling. Overcoming SI is not just wanting to die "strong enough" and let's avoid hurting already hurting people even more. There's enough cruelty in the world as it is.

Regarding TC question, there's a thread on the forum that might help you. Here's the link:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

 

[AlexKy]

There is a video of a man doing partial on this forum, it's called "partial with so ease".

Anyway I believe you can only CTB if you are determined enough. A loot of people have done it, right? If you are not getting there, perhaps you aren't ready and should take some time.

I've seen this one a while ago first on theync, and again here. I have the correct setup, proper anchor point, proper rope, I'm afraid of death.

 

[Someone123]

I tried again partial hanging and I just can't do it. I can't put my weight in for long enough to pass out and die, I'm just to afraid, as soon as I get woozy I pull back.
I called my brother and I told him everything.
At first the words would not come out, then I just crumbled in tears and without breath. I asked him to help me die, he declined obviously.
I planned my suicide for so long, mastered the technique of partial in trial runs, all the effort at self destruction, only for SI to win in minutes.
I guess it's true that quitting becomes a habit, and should be avoided. Oh my world, how I would like to have a conversation with a person that successfully ctb, just to see how they prepared mentally.
The method doesn't matter, it's the courage to do it that's the problem, for me at least.
I see a lot of people that went to great lengths to get N, then they second guess it, they get afraid of the taste, and when the times comes get scared and flush it down the toilet.
Survivors of suicide that were close to dying, (that doctors had to revive) how did you do it, how did you prepare mentally?
PLEASE HELP? PLEASE HELP!

Partial does fail most of the time, based on a lot of posts. One interesting case of someone who posted here who said he was a former prison guard and he saw several prisoners ctb by partial, and he saw their exact body position, the position of the rope and knot, and he kept trying to duplicate this- he said he tried twenty-five times and couldn't get this to work- maybe when you're in such a bad environment as prison the will to leave is stronger, don't know. There are much more reliable methods.

 

[AlexKy]

Tbh that's a really not nice thing to say to a person obviously struggling. Overcoming SI is not just wanting to die "strong enough" and let's avoid hurting already hurting people even more. There's enough cruelty in the world as it is.

Regarding TC question, there's a thread on the forum that might help you. Here's the link:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

She does have a good insight especially in the later points, 5,6,7

Partial does fail most of the time, based on a lot of posts. One interesting case of someone who posted here who said he was a former prison guard and he saw several prisoners ctb by partial, and he saw their exact body position, the position of the rope and knot, and he kept trying to duplicate this- he said he tried twenty-five times and couldn't get this to work- maybe when you're in such a bad environment as prison the will to leave is stronger, don't know. There are much more reliable methods.

Yes indeed there are. I tried poisoning myself with Poison Hemlock (conium macullatum). Although the mixture was pleasant tasting, because I crushed the plant in wine, I couldn't bear to drink it, I just tasted a few drops, no effects though. I left the mixture for a while in my room, and when I came back the vapour of the mixture spread in the room, it's really toxic, my nose started bleeding almost instantly, no pain just stinging in the eyes, panicked and threw it in the garden.For the lack of better words, I have a mental block on death. I don't think it's the method for me but the courage. This approach that I'm on now of "if first you don't succeed, try and try again" is not working.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sorry that you are suffering so much, I know that it can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave. I wish we lived in a world where our right to die is respected and then we could just exit peacefully when the time is right for us. Suicide really is so difficult, the fear of failure is what holds me back from doing it, the method of hanging scares me a lot. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I know how you're feeling. I've attempted partial several times. Like 20 times or something. Never got it. Changed my method to SN since then.

 

[Red Scare]

If you are doing it right, apparently you should pass out in 10-15 seconds. I am apprehensive to try this method because I feel I will not get it right, I do not know what I am doing. I'd want to make sure I compress the carotid and pass out in seconds, but I'm worried that I will not be able to do this and I'll just be sitting there and start to panic once SI kicks in, and abort.

I would only try full suspension if I was able to ensure my neck would break, but that is a lot of work and set up, and if you fail you will still sit there and strangle to death.

Partial would be a better way for me to go, but I can't get it right, so that I pass out in a few seconds. I think that is the only way to really succeed at this method.

 

[woknows]

For the neck to break, you just need to drop far enough. There are some instructions on the proper tie position of the knot, but with a long drop, you will break your neck for sure. And you need a rope that will not break. I suppose it is not easy to find a place where you can secure the rope and achieve a sufficient drop length. Honestly, think about it, cause hanging has a very high success rate.

 

[czx85]

The ability to suicide is a skill, that you have to train yourself. As you practice attempting suicide and self harm, your brain will slowly adjust and accept ending your lofe by suicide.
Few months ago, there was a member whom having difficulty fire shotgun on hus head. He practiced for a few days, to put the barrel into his mouth, then fire the empty gun with ammo. finally he was able to put real gun with ammo into his mouth

 

[Niirvana]

I think if you really feel like dying, the SI takes a backseat. Only your heart will know when the time is right. My method is the sn, and I am getting closer to it

 

[AlexKy]

If you are doing it right, apparently you should pass out in 10-15 seconds. I am apprehensive to try this method because I feel I will not get it right, I do not know what I am doing. I'd want to make sure I compress the carotid and pass out in seconds, but I'm worried that I will not be able to do this and I'll just be sitting there and start to panic once SI kicks in, and abort.

I would only try full suspension if I was able to ensure my neck would break, but that is a lot of work and set up, and if you fail you will still sit there and strangle to death.

Partial would be a better way for me to go, but I can't get it right, so that I pass out in a few seconds. I think that is the only way to really succeed at this method.

In practice runs I do pass out between 15 - 45 seconds. The method I use:
1. rap the rope around my neck once, I make sure the tags cross over at the back of the neck, (if you cross them over at the front they might pinch the skin)
2. get the rope below the Adams apple, move it up and down, and apply a little bit of pressure until you feel your pulse in the rope.
3. grab each tag end in one hand and extend your hands outwards in a sharp movement. Count the seconds in your head, at 15 you should at least have blurry vision, at 20 vision goes away but I still can hear sound. after that it's usually lights out.

The ability to suicide is a skill, that you have to train yourself. As you practice attempting suicide and self harm, your brain will slowly adjust and accept ending your lofe by suicide.
Few months ago, there was a member whom having difficulty fire shotgun on hus head. He practiced for a few days, to put the barrel into his mouth, then fire the empty gun with ammo. finally he was able to put real gun with ammo into his mouth

You know I went for this approach, but I don't know if to try harder or give up, I have like 10 attempts so far which ended up in failure by bailing back at the last moment. When I say bailing, I mean petrified with fear.

I think if you really feel like dying, the SI takes a backseat. Only your heart will know when the time is right. My method is the sn, and I am getting closer to it

You know I I do believe this, but also I'm looking at few characters from history, Socrates for example who got his sentence, but he applied it himself, went away quite brave. Then you have a few people that did it in war as an act of bravery, or to save a fellow soldier. What I find in common is they died as a result of a well defined event ai: carry out a sentence, save somebody.
Pretty much I'm dying because I'm lonely, my life turned to ashes (I turned it on purpose that away because I thought that it will constrain me to ctb). Note for others, don't destroy your life because you think it will nudge you towards ctb because it doesn't.
My reasons for dying are not well defined, I mean they are ambiguous, and it doesn't matter how much it hurts, still I can't ctb.

What do you think?

 

[Red Scare]

The ability to suicide is a skill, that you have to train yourself. As you practice attempting suicide and self harm, your brain will slowly adjust and accept ending your lofe by suicide.
Few months ago, there was a member whom having difficulty fire shotgun on hus head. He practiced for a few days, to put the barrel into his mouth, then fire the empty gun with ammo. finally he was able to put real gun with ammo into his mouth

Many people succeed impulsively with I prior attempts or planning.

In practice runs I do pass out between 15 - 45 seconds. The method I use:
1. rap the rope around my neck once, I make sure the tags cross over at the back of the neck, (if you cross them over at the front they might pinch the skin)
2. get the rope below the Adams apple, move it up and down, and apply a little bit of pressure until you feel your pulse in the rope.
3. grab each tag end in one hand and extend your hands outwards in a sharp movement. Count the seconds in your head, at 15 you should at least have blurry vision, at 20 vision goes away but I still can hear sound. after that it's usually lights out.

So you never actually went unconscious? If you backed out, I assume you weren't passed out. Thst is what I am worried about, not passing out and SI kicking in, panicking, and then stopping myself.

I would only ever try full suspension if I had the math all worked out and a high enough place to drop from that it would ensure my neck breaking. Although I'm bad with math and practical things like that, so I'd probably screw that up to.

N would be the best for me... I just want to sleep forever.

 

[AlexKy]

Many people succeed impulsively with I prior attempts or planning.

So you never actually went unconscious? If you backed out, I assume you weren't passed out. Thst is what I am worried about, not passing out and SI kicking in, panicking, and then stopping myself.

I would only ever try full suspension if I had the math all worked out and a high enough place to drop from that it would ensure my neck breaking. Although I'm bad with math and practical things like that, so I'd probably screw that up to.

N would be the best for me... I just want to sleep forever.

on trial runs I always pass out, and when my hands loosen, after about 10 - 15 seconds I get back.
I filmed myself once just to see what happens.

 

[Red Scare]

on trial runs I always pass out, and when my hands loosen, after about 10 - 15 seconds I get back.
I filmed myself once just to see what happens.

Oh I see, thanks for that. I was confused trying to imagine how you are doing that, but practicing with your hands makes sense. I have seen the videos of people passing themselves out like that.

I would like to give it a go and try with a rope but like I said, I am not sure what I am doing, I don't know how to pass myself out quick like that. I'd probably stop just as soon as panic and SI kick in.

 

[czx85]

Many people succeed impulsively with I prior attempts or planning.

But the problem is that many people don't. Many people has more calm and less implusive personalities, which made suicide way kore difficult to execute than the implusive personalities.

 

[Red Scare]

But the problem is that many people don't. Many people has more calm and less implusive personalities, which made suicide way kore difficult to execute than the implusive personalities.

The only people I know irl who have killed themselves did so impulsively.