I'm so desperate I can't cope. I have loads of illnesses one is a neurological problem. My sensory nerves have been under attack a long time and now it is severe through my neck face and head and ears. I am suffering severe pressure build up and pain like no other and it is inpacting my brain/ thinking/ cognitive function sevetely. I also have blood pouring out my backside as my body gets constantly attacked by my illnesses ( sorry for tmi). My spine head brain and every part of me feel like I'm being eaten alive and burn like acid. I have no answers and have to figure it out myself. I have an awful disease called sjogrens which attacks your nervous system. There's no help no treatment and everything gets put down to anxiety. It truly is not that. I have anxiety from what's happening to me.
I'm now losing my son. He will have to live with his father. He is having panic attacks, asking me when I'm going to die and I am so f***ing angry and desperate I could scream. All I want is to be his mum and be with him without this happening to me. I am losing sensation throughout my whole body and head and it is like torture. I can't even eat normal food Anymore so am stuck on i.v nutrition forever. That's nothing and I could cope with that. I've been through so much pain physically and emotionally it is killing me. I am hanging on for dear life for my son. How can I mess him up even more by dying by suicide. I've realised my illnesses will simply torture me to death rather than kill me naturally. I can hardly function wnd just cry and cry or sleep. I had severe sepsis I wish had killed me but it hasn't. I wish so much it had finished me off. There is no hope and I am stuck in abject torture. I've found myself getting confused, feeling so sedated, like I've had a stroke. Yet I have no answers. One neurologist said I had body dysmorphia despite having 5 serious illnesses diagnosed including neuropathy! I wanted to strangle her with my I.V feeding tube and really could of done that.
I want this shit existence over with. I wish I had terminal cancer, it would be easier. I want to die just to be released from my suffering. I wish there was a way it could look like an accident. I'm dragging myself round when I can walk like a zombie wearing a neck collar and screaming inside from my pain, confusion and agony. Why on earth have I got to be tortured like this? I will just leave a legacy of oh she was depressed because I've seen multiple stories where the severity of illness was ignored and everything put down to ' feeling low. ' ( I know depression is as equally horrific btw)
I wish I could make it look like an accident to spare my poor son. Is there any way. I'm never going to get to Dignitas. I will never afford it. I would have to go too soon. I'm trying to hang on until the bitter end for my boy
Can someone please advise me ref setting up a bitcoin account. My cognition is so bad I can hardly do anything at all. It's not laziness. If you could p.m me I'd appreciate it alot
I'm now losing my son. He will have to live with his father. He is having panic attacks, asking me when I'm going to die and I am so f***ing angry and desperate I could scream. All I want is to be his mum and be with him without this happening to me. I am losing sensation throughout my whole body and head and it is like torture. I can't even eat normal food Anymore so am stuck on i.v nutrition forever. That's nothing and I could cope with that. I've been through so much pain physically and emotionally it is killing me. I am hanging on for dear life for my son. How can I mess him up even more by dying by suicide. I've realised my illnesses will simply torture me to death rather than kill me naturally. I can hardly function wnd just cry and cry or sleep. I had severe sepsis I wish had killed me but it hasn't. I wish so much it had finished me off. There is no hope and I am stuck in abject torture. I've found myself getting confused, feeling so sedated, like I've had a stroke. Yet I have no answers. One neurologist said I had body dysmorphia despite having 5 serious illnesses diagnosed including neuropathy! I wanted to strangle her with my I.V feeding tube and really could of done that.
I want this shit existence over with. I wish I had terminal cancer, it would be easier. I want to die just to be released from my suffering. I wish there was a way it could look like an accident. I'm dragging myself round when I can walk like a zombie wearing a neck collar and screaming inside from my pain, confusion and agony. Why on earth have I got to be tortured like this? I will just leave a legacy of oh she was depressed because I've seen multiple stories where the severity of illness was ignored and everything put down to ' feeling low. ' ( I know depression is as equally horrific btw)
I wish I could make it look like an accident to spare my poor son. Is there any way. I'm never going to get to Dignitas. I will never afford it. I would have to go too soon. I'm trying to hang on until the bitter end for my boy
Can someone please advise me ref setting up a bitcoin account. My cognition is so bad I can hardly do anything at all. It's not laziness. If you could p.m me I'd appreciate it alot
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