Please help me

[fallingleaves]

Can somebody please talk to me?
I feel pain in every cell of my body.
This year has been nothing but pain and loss.
I feel pain.

 

[longlifetolive]

What do you need help with, my dms are open if you need to talk.

 

[fallingtopieces]

Hi @fallingleaves did u leave the chat?

 

[fallingleaves]

Hi @fallingleaves did u leave the chat?

Should I come back

 

[amomentspeace]

Hallo, I'm sorry ur feeling this way. what's bothering you?

 

[fallingleaves]

Hallo, I'm sorry ur feeling this way. what's bothering you?

My abusive partner left me again a few days ago. He managed to isolate me from everyone in my life, so now I'm completely alone. He owes me over ten thousand dollars that he manipulated me into lending him. I have nothing. I have no one. I can't function. All I feel is pain. I just want it to stop.

 

[amomentspeace]

That's terrible. I'm glad you're reaching out somewhere for some support. I can only imagine what you're going through but my thoughts are with you

 

[fallingleaves]

That's terrible. I'm glad you're reaching out somewhere for some support. I can only imagine what you're going through but my thoughts are with you

I can't get any support. Everyone leaves me. I can't live with has happened anymore. Please help :(

 

[amomentspeace]

The community here is very kind. Of course the support you can get is limited since this is an only an internet forum, but you can be assured people understand and don't judge. We're all here for each other :D

 

[fallingleaves]

The community here is very kind. Of course the support you can get is limited since this is an only an internet forum, but you can be assured people understand and don't judge. We're all here for each other :D

The pain is unbearable. I can't maintain.

 

[amomentspeace]

Sorry, the best I can do is send words to you to try to help. Sorry about that friend. I do sincerely hope for the best for you

 

[fallingleaves]

Somebody please help :(

 

[JesiBel]

Please don't hurt yourself because of him. I don't know how it works in other countries, but if you are in trouble it is best to go to the police or even a hospital for immediate support and relief..

 

[fallingleaves]

Please don't hurt yourself because of him. I don't know how it works in other countries, but if you are in trouble it is best to go to the police or even a hospital for immediate support and relief..

Please do not mention the police or hospital to me ever again. I have trauma from those.

 

[grapevoid]

My abusive partner left me again a few days ago. He managed to isolate me from everyone in my life, so now I'm completely alone. He owes me over ten thousand dollars that he manipulated me into lending him. I have nothing. I have no one. I can't function. All I feel is pain. I just want it to stop.

If you ever feel like you'd like to, you are welcome to send me a message. I may be able to relate with you and your current situation, and I'm happy to lend an ear or just be a supportive person to talk to!

I can't get any support. Everyone leaves me. I can't live with has happened anymore. Please help :(

Without knowing much about your situation I'm pretty comfortable saying, this kind of emotional and mental abuse is extremely isolating. It's very overwhelming and especially hard when a relationship ends and you are left with no support system and likely unsure about who you even are anymore. It is a journey to find yourself again without the abusive partner. It does heal in time. It's not easy by any means but reaching out for support is a great step and can greatly help with the loneliness and complete loss of … well everything that abuse leaves behind.

 

[fallingleaves]

If you ever feel like you'd like to, you are welcome to send me a message. I may be able to relate with you and your current situation, and I'm happy to lend an ear or just be a supportive person to talk to!

Without knowing much about your situation I'm pretty comfortable saying, this kind of emotional and mental abuse is extremely isolating. It's very overwhelming and especially hard when a relationship ends and you are left with no support system and likely unsure about who you even are anymore. It is a journey to find yourself again without the abusive partner. It does heal in time. It's not easy by any means but reaching out for support is a great step and can greatly help with the loneliness and complete loss of … well everything that abuse leaves behind.

I just want him to come back and be nice to me...

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I just want him to come back and be nice to me...

Have you tried calling him? Calmly?

 

[fallingleaves]

Have you tried calling him? Calmly?

He doesn't pick up. He doesn't respond to texts. He's extremely angry. Wants me to be grateful for him coming to "help" when all he did was torture me emotionally. I feel so hopeless. This is likely narcissistic abuse. But he's all I have.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I get that. But he also has your ten thousand dollars, right? So maybe you should play nice for awhile and just feed his ego the way he needs it fed until you can get your money back? You'll get some company, but also you'll have to be careful not to fall under his spell again. I don't know if that's the best way or not, tbh, but ten thousand is a lot of money to let disappear.

The only way you're getting him back is by playing his game. Even if temporarily. So make him feel like you're truly actually thought about it and you are actually very grateful for his "help". He will never understand or care that it's emotional abuse, if he's a narc. So you have to view him like a wild animal that you have to navigate around.

But you'll also need to have your exit strategy planned in advance. If he is a narc, they're very sneaky and addictive, and you sound very emotional. And they love emotional reactions. So you're going to have to do your best to not react and stay calm, okay? Even if he presses all of your buttons.

So play nice, feed his ego, get him back, then do your best job possible to expand out and get some other friends or acquaintances in preparation for the real split, which will be on your terms.

those are the thoughts I have about it. Grain of salt recommended. Especially if:
1: You can afford to lose the money, okay, no biggie.
2: He does more damage to you than this plan would heal. It's hard to break away from narcs so it might be a blessing he left, if you can afford it financially, and if you can get some help asap, in whatever form that seems possible.

 

[fallingleaves]

I get that. But he also has your ten thousand dollars, right? So maybe you should play nice for awhile and just feed his ego the way he needs it fed until you can get your money back? You'll get some company, but also you'll have to be careful not to fall under his spell again. I don't know if that's the best way or not, tbh, but ten thousand is a lot of money to let disappear.

The only way you're getting him back is by playing his game. Even if temporarily. But you'll also need to have your exit strategy planned in advance. If he is a narc, they're very sneaky and addictive, and you sound very emotional. And they love emotional reactions. So you're going to have to do your best to not react and stay calm, okay? Even if he presses all of your buttons.

So play nice, feed his ego, get him back, then do your best job possible to expand out and get some other friends or acquaintances in preparation for the real split, which will be on your terms.

those are the thoughts I have about it. Grain of salt recommended. Especially if:
1: You can afford to lose the money, okay, no biggie.
2: He does more damage to you than this plan would heal. It's hard to break away from narcs so it might be a blessing he left, if you can afford it financially, and if you can get some help asap, in whatever form that seems possible.

I can't do that. I can't validate his hurtful bullshit. It'll take years. I need him to come to his senses but I feel helpless. And he doesn't want me around at ALL right now. I think I've lost everything. All chance at having a good life.

He says he hates my emotional reactions lol. But I know what you mean.

I want to kill myself for being emotional. I'm too vulnerable in this world. Fuck that.

I get that. But he also has your ten thousand dollars, right? So maybe you should play nice for awhile and just feed his ego the way he needs it fed until you can get your money back? You'll get some company, but also you'll have to be careful not to fall under his spell again. I don't know if that's the best way or not, tbh, but ten thousand is a lot of money to let disappear.

The only way you're getting him back is by playing his game. Even if temporarily. But you'll also need to have your exit strategy planned in advance. If he is a narc, they're very sneaky and addictive, and you sound very emotional. And they love emotional reactions. So you're going to have to do your best to not react and stay calm, okay? Even if he presses all of your buttons.

So play nice, feed his ego, get him back, then do your best job possible to expand out and get some other friends or acquaintances in preparation for the real split, which will be on your terms.

those are the thoughts I have about it. Grain of salt recommended. Especially if:
1: You can afford to lose the money, okay, no biggie.
2: He does more damage to you than this plan would heal. It's hard to break away from narcs so it might be a blessing he left, if you can afford it financially, and if you can get some help asap, in whatever form that seems possible.

I get that. But he also has your ten thousand dollars, right? So maybe you should play nice for awhile and just feed his ego the way he needs it fed until you can get your money back? You'll get some company, but also you'll have to be careful not to fall under his spell again. I don't know if that's the best way or not, tbh, but ten thousand is a lot of money to let disappear.

The only way you're getting him back is by playing his game. Even if temporarily. So make him feel like you're truly actually thought about it and you are actually very grateful for his "help". He will never understand or care that it's emotional abuse, if he's a narc. So you have to view him like a wild animal that you have to navigate around.

But you'll also need to have your exit strategy planned in advance. If he is a narc, they're very sneaky and addictive, and you sound very emotional. And they love emotional reactions. So you're going to have to do your best to not react and stay calm, okay? Even if he presses all of your buttons.

So play nice, feed his ego, get him back, then do your best job possible to expand out and get some other friends or acquaintances in preparation for the real split, which will be on your terms.

those are the thoughts I have about it. Grain of salt recommended. Especially if:
1: You can afford to lose the money, okay, no biggie.
2: He does more damage to you than this plan would heal. It's hard to break away from narcs so it might be a blessing he left, if you can afford it financially, and if you can get some help asap, in whatever form that seems possible.

I can't find help that I feel safe with and understood by

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I can't do that. I can't validate his hurtful bullshit. It'll take years. I need him to come to his senses but I feel helpless. And he doesn't want me around at ALL right now. I think I've lost everything. All chance at having a good life.

He says he hates my emotional reactions lol. But I know what you mean.

I want to kill myself for being emotional. I'm too vulnerable in this world. Fuck that.

Okay well in that case, the only thing we can do is give him time to cool down and see how he reacts later. If he's not a narc and he doesn't need you for anything, he will come back if you're calm and if he misses you.

Don't text or call or anything just ghost him and leave him time to sit without you. If he loves you, and if he's not a narc, then he will come to his senses and think better of it and the absence will make him miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? You just have to be able to bear it.

Yeah, well, tbh you've got some pretty extreme emotional reactions even in this group, haha. I'm not saying that in a judgey way, that's just, that's just the truth. You're welcome here. And I'll do my best to help with what I can. But you might benefit from some self-regulation, and your relationship could too. If you can do that, you can get what you want, which is him potentially coming back. That'd be good, right? :)

Do you drink at all?

Well shit, I get that. It's not an easy world to live in. I 100% understand.

So that's the only other hailmary I can think of.

 

[fallingleaves]

Okay well in that case, the only thing we can do is give him time to cool down and see how he reacts later. If he's not a narc and he doesn't need you for anything, he will come back if you're calm and if he misses you.

Don't text or call or anything just ghost him and leave him time to sit without you. If he loves you, and if he's not a narc, then he will come to his senses and think better of it and the absence will make him miss you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? You just have to be able to bear it.

Yeah, well, tbh you've got some pretty extreme emotional reactions even in this group, haha. I'm not saying that in a judgey way, that's just, that's just the truth. You're welcome here. And I'll do my best to help with what I can. But you might benefit from some self-regulation, and your relationship could too. If you can do that, you can get what you want, which is him potentially coming back. That'd be good, right? :)

Do you drink at all?

Well shit, I get that. It's not an easy world to live in. I 100% understand.

So that's the only other hailmary I can think of.

Thank you for your input. I'll try to consider it in a more calm mental state if I ever reach such a place. I think some of your suggestions are pretty reasonable.

And oh yeah : I do drink :/

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Thank you for your input. I'll try to consider it in a more calm mental state if I ever reach such a place. I think some of your suggestions are pretty reasonable.

And oh yeah : I do drink :/

You're welcome. I understand it is difficult to maintain calm, but it is the best thing possible if you want the best outcome. I'm really proud that you're going to work on it. :)

Do you have anything you can occupy your time with to keep your mind off of things?

 

[fallingleaves]

You're welcome. I understand it is difficult to maintain calm, but it is the best thing possible if you want the best outcome.

Do you have anything you can occupy your time with to keep your mind off of things?

It's usually podcasts or YouTube for me but I often dissociate so much that I barely even register what I'm trying to pay attention to

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

It's usually podcasts or YouTube for me but I often dissociate so much that I barely even register what I'm trying to pay attention to

That'll work! Sounds like a plan. What keeps your interest the most? What types of podcasts or YouTube?

 

[fallingleaves]

That'll work! Sounds like a plan. What keeps your interest the most? What types of podcasts or YouTube?

Audiobooks sometimes too. It really depends what grabs my interest at the time. I care about politics but now might not be the right time for that. History, culture, I don't know. I used to watch Friends but now that reminds me of my ex. I just want comfort media. :( it doesn't really help but I guess it's mildly distracting

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Audiobooks sometimes too. It really depends what grabs my interest at the time. I care about politics but now might not be the right time for that. History, culture, I don't know. I used to watch Friends but now that reminds me of my ex. I just want comfort media. :( it doesn't really help but I guess it's mildly distracting

Yeah no, politics probably won't be the best, but you know how you react to it more than anyone else.

Well you know what, given how pained you've seemed, we'll take mildly distracting. That sounds like a big win. :) And yeah, definitely nothing that reminds you of your ex. That wouldn't be good. All new stuff would be best. What about The Office? Kind of friends like but more business-y.

 

[fallingleaves]

Yeah no, politics probably won't be the best, but you know how you react to it more than anyone else.

Well you know what, given how pained you've seemed, we'll take mildly distracting. That sounds like a big win. :) And yeah, definitely nothing that reminds you of your ex. That wouldn't be good. All new stuff would be best. What about The Office? Kind of friends like but more business-y.

I just want him to come back. I have seen The Office before. I like Superstore better. But I rewatched Superstore recently. I don't know. I just want him to come back

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Nope, we're not thinking that right now, @fallingleaves. Right now we're thinking what we're going to watch on YouTube, audiobooks, or podcasts, so that we DON'T think about him. :) I'm about to pass out, so I might not get back to you too quickly, so I need you to figure out something that will work to distract you okay?

 

[fallingleaves]

Nope, we're not thinking that right now, @fallingleaves. Right now we're thinking what we're going to watch on YouTube, audiobooks, or podcasts, so that we DON'T think about him. :) I'm about to pass out, so I might not get back to you too quickly, so I need you to figure out something that will work to distract you okay?

:( Maybe an audiobook or podcast. I'm trying to listen to an audiobook. It's hard.