sasshimi
david lynched me
- Aug 20, 2019
- 38
So I've been under a lot of stress since the past week or so, with my original ctb plan getting disrupted and having the police get involved in my affairs - which meant having all paraphernalia in my possession confiscated from me prior to getting institutionalized for 3 days. (I lied through my teeth to psychiatry about my suicidal tendencies) I'm back home now but yeah, I'm not even going to lie, I'm pretty desperate at this point. All of my resources were stolen from me. I don't have much time left. God I wish I hadn't written a dumb note in the first place. I was at peace that day - I had my mind made up right then and there. I have plenty of other options for ligature but it's just not the same. I suppose I have to start over from scratch.
For the past few days, I've been fucking around compressing my carotid arteries and each time I've applied optimum pressure with my fingers, I get a euphoric, dazed sensation. Slowly, I lull to unconsciousness as I get half-lidded, my trachea feels uncomfortable but not overbearing and I can breathe just fine through my mouth and nose. Everything in my vicinity sort of tunes out as I begin to feel weak, followed by the strain of my grip numbing out. That's it, I think. The feeling of passing out? Of course, I have not achieved passing out just yet as this was merely a test. But this proved to be an interesting test regardless.
Partial suspension is a difficult method though perhaps I might construct a noose of some sort that will apply the most weight onto the arteries, avoiding the windpipe. I've looked into the night-night method but unfortunately I simply just can't attain the materials for it. The risk of having my windpipe crushed/ inducing an air choke instead of a blood choke scares me. Asphyxia is a long agonizing death from what I've learned through research.
I have had no luck practicing partial - each test drastically varied from each time. However, I might fuck around some more. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Practice makes perfect? ┐(︶▽︶)┌
For the past few days, I've been fucking around compressing my carotid arteries and each time I've applied optimum pressure with my fingers, I get a euphoric, dazed sensation. Slowly, I lull to unconsciousness as I get half-lidded, my trachea feels uncomfortable but not overbearing and I can breathe just fine through my mouth and nose. Everything in my vicinity sort of tunes out as I begin to feel weak, followed by the strain of my grip numbing out. That's it, I think. The feeling of passing out? Of course, I have not achieved passing out just yet as this was merely a test. But this proved to be an interesting test regardless.
Partial suspension is a difficult method though perhaps I might construct a noose of some sort that will apply the most weight onto the arteries, avoiding the windpipe. I've looked into the night-night method but unfortunately I simply just can't attain the materials for it. The risk of having my windpipe crushed/ inducing an air choke instead of a blood choke scares me. Asphyxia is a long agonizing death from what I've learned through research.
I have had no luck practicing partial - each test drastically varied from each time. However, I might fuck around some more. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Practice makes perfect? ┐(︶▽︶)┌