Help Plans for after my death

[b0s]

My method that I am leaning towards is SN. No problems with obtaining the medicines needed thus far, but the thing I am stuck with right now is what happens after my death. I am pretty all over the place with whether I want to write a suicide note or whether I want to do it in my house and then one of my family members finding my dead body. Basically, I guess I'm asking for some help. I'm 99% certain I want to ctb (I am going to wait a couple more months before I go ahead and do it), but I have no idea whether I want to write a note, and where I want to do it. Any suggestions?

 

[notjustyetagain]

hullo, my method is SN too.

personally i'm going to a walking-distance semiwild park that nobody uses as a thoroughfare, to spare my younger brother (with whom i live) from finding my cyanosed body. there are other places i'd prefer but they'd be too risky (busy) and i can't drive anyway. some SS members went to the sea, a sunrise, a forest, or some other pleasant "nature scene" for various reasons (e.g. avoiding family discovering body, isolated/not busy/low chance of being found, peaceful, positive memories, etc.).

i'm also leaving a simple note for my family: how much i love them, how grateful i am for all of their love/support/help, that there's nothing they could have done to change my mind, that they shouldn't feel guilty for anything, that i hope they can forgive me, and some secrets that are part of my suicide's rationale. i will apologise for their grief, but not for my decision. i've accepted that they will suffer and, although i doubt a note will help much, they deserve the effort. (fwiw my "note" is a camcorder video on a USB stick, i left some [dubious attempts at] humour in there that would fall even flatter in writing.)

anyway, some of what i asked myself to decide:

note: do i feel okay about leaving a message? can/should i be honest in it? is what i want to say worthwhile? if it's worthwhile, consider why when writing it. can i make sure that everything i say won't cause my family more grief/pain/confusion, and leave out everything that might?​

location: what would be best for the people i live with? which places have the lowest chance of being found/"rescued"? which places are accessible? will the place i choose make any difference to my intent/survival instinct/etc.?​

only you can decide what's best for you and your family, weigh up your options, pros/cons, etc. my personal goal is to minimise the pain my death causes, to me and everyone i'm close to (mostly my little brother, rest of family, and my owners*). but this can vary too, e.g. a member who recently said goodbye (SN) was very close with her mother but deliberately did it at home because she knew that her mother would want to be the one to find her body... so everyone's situation is different.

hope you can reach some conclusions you're satisfied with. <3

* cats​

 

[BPD Barbie]

Echoing above, only you know what's best. From my personal standpoint I will be leaving notes for a few reasons. Firstly I want my family and friends to understand why I did it and to know that nobody was necessarily guilty. I don't want them blaming themselves. Also, I want them to have closure and not to be left with unanswered questions, I guess my suicide note will be like a Reddit AMA lol.
As for location, again, personally I want it to be a special place that I love, feel happy in and comfortable. For me that wont be at home, I don't want my family and friends to be in my house and that be looming over them.
Again it's all personal preference and maybe nearer the time you will have a clearer view over what you want to do.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm going to answer directly and honestly here. I'm not going to tiptoe or sugarcoat. My tone is calm.

First, if they discovered you, that image of you will be what comes to mind whenever they think of you, for a very long time, perhaps always. Second, say you die in bed; every time they walk into a room where someone is in bed, they may have a flashback or fear that person is dead.

Far better that someone you don't know find you. There are a couple of recent threads about cbt in a hotel. You could cbt in the bathtub or shower, and put a note outside the closed bathroom door that you have cbt'd via an overdose and to please call emergency services rather than enter. You could even take bedding into the bathroom to make it more comfortable, the real concern for the hotel would be replacing the mattress.

If you cannot afford a hotel and must do it at home, I recommend the same, locking the door, leaving a note advising to not enter, let emergency services get the door open. But really, if you can, I recommend another location. Your family may not be able to continue living in the home. Whatever room, or even the yard, it will always be to them the place you died.

 

[Fragile]

writing a note and stating your reasons while also mentioning that this is in no way the fault of your family is great, it may grant closure and they will at least know why. but in the end it's up to you, not everyone reacts the same way to a note. they will be crushed if they have any love for you and you know them better than us random strangers on a pro choice forum.

and as for the body.

I'm going to answer directly and honestly here. I'm not going to tiptoe or sugarcoat. My tone is calm.

First, if they discovered you, that image of you will be what comes to mind whenever they think of you, for a very long time, perhaps always. Second, say you die in bed; every time they walk into a room where someone is in bed, they may have a flashback or fear that person is dead.

Far better that someone you don't know find you. There are a couple of recent threads about cbt in a hotel. You could cbt in the bathtub or shower, and put a note outside the closed bathroom door that you have cbt'd via an overdose and to please call emergency services rather than enter. You could even take bedding into the bathroom to make it more comfortable, the real concern for the hotel would be replacing the mattress.

If you cannot afford a hotel and must do it at home, I recommend the same, locking the door, leaving a note advising to not enter, let emergency services get the door open. But really, if you can, I recommend another location. Your family may not be able to continue living in the home. Whatever room, or even the yard, it will always be to them the place you died.

i couldn't have said it better.

if you are concerned abut your family then booking a hotel is the best solution, hotels are more prepared to deal with this and the emotional impact is much less, they will only find a dead person, not a dead beloved family member in their own home.