Venting Plan to catch the bus tonight. Life has fucked me.

[Lifeispointless]

About a month ago my life was perfectly fine. I had a good job, me and my girlfriend were about to celebrate our 4 year anniversary, and I was going to college full time studying for a good career. I'm not trying to brag or anything but every day I would wake up and be grateful for the life I had because I knew how cruel the world was. Well apparently the universe just decided to take a huge shit on my life. The first week of October the police show up at our door and they have an arrest warrant to search our house. I'm not going to go into detail about it but long story short I'm the one that ends up going to jail. I'm placed in a holding cell for 16 hours without any food or anything to put water in. I'm finally taken to a pod with 20 other people after the 16 hours. I'm in there for about a day and my parents bond me out of jail. The first week I got out of jail was the worst emotional rollercoaster I've ever been on. I think I cried that week more than I ever have in my life. I would hold my girlfriend and we would cry for 20 minutes at a time. It was horrible. A few days after that first week my girlfriend said she wants to take a break and I was pretty torn about it but I understood because everyone was traumatized. She went to move back in with her parents because we were living with my parents at the time. After a week I tell her that I miss her and I don't get a text back for a few days. Turns out she blocked me. I haven't heard from her since and all I want to know is if she's moved on. It's killing me, she was the love of my life. I haven't done any of my college work because of how depressed Ive become. Plus I sort of lost my job but I have an interview set up to get my old job back but I don't plan on making it. So I went from having everything to having nothing in a matter of weeks. I'm facing prison time for something I didn't fucking do. And I can't get the case dropped unless they find evidence that I didn't do it even though they don't have evidence that I did do it (that's the US justice system for you). All I've done since I got out of jail is lay in bed and watch YouTube. It's the only thing I can use to decompress. Jail was so traumatic that I barely eat or drink anymore. I've developed severe depression. I just can't do this anymore. All of this shit and I'm only 18 years old. I've never done anything in my life to get in trouble or do anything to hurt anyone. I used to love people and I always wanted to make a good impression to everyone I meet. Now I see that the world is a cold place where no one gives a shit about you. What's ironic is before all of this happened and before I found this website I was against people killing themselves. But now I see that if people really dont have a way out then they should be given an option of euthanasia. I mean some people in this world live in pain whether it be physically or mentally and some just have no escape. It's sad. Ive never felt more alone and stuck in my life. I have nowhere to go and I have no one. I've had some pretty bad hardships in my life but this is just fucking ridiculous. I don't know what I did to deserve this but it must have been really bad. I always tried to be a good person and I always tried to be good to other people but I guess that wasn't enough. Ever since I got out of jail I've been researching suicide because I knew it was my only option to escape this hell. I tried several different methods and I've been pretty nervous and I learned something new about myself that I didn't even know. I'm afraid of death, or at least I was. I don't know why but yesterday something in me snapped and now I'm determined to kill myself no matter what. I don't care how painful it is I just want it to end. I would rather be dead than go to fucking prison and have my reputation ruined. At first I wanted a peaceful painless death but now I just don't care. I think I'm slowly going insane. I'm sorry to everyone on here that is suffering. No one deserves to suffer. Our fucked up world is cruel. I'm sorry that this was so long but I just had to get this shit off my chest somewhere. And I might as well leave my story behind somewhere. And for anyone that saw my post this morning I'm sorry about that. I was messing with the thing where you post a thread in the future and I thought I was going to be dead by then. But tonight I'm sure I'll be gone. I'm going to do partial and hopefully fall asleep forever. This community is wonderful. It gave me hope that this world isn't completely fucked. Everyone here is so warm and welcoming. I'll see you all on the other side.
To top all that off my mom got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago so that's nice.

 

[Meretlein]

I am really sorry that life has been cruel to you. Have you spoken to a lawyer to see what their chance of convicting you will be? If they truly have so evidence (like you said), then it seems a conviction will be unlikely. I truly hope things get better for you.


I relate to some of what you say. I have never been arrested but I have been a victim of forced psychiatry, being forcibly confined makes you see the world and people in whole new light.

 

[Lifeispointless]

I am really sorry that life has been cruel to you. Have you spoken to a lawyer to see what their chance of convicting you will be? If they truly have so evidence (like you said), then it seems a conviction will be unlikely. I truly hope things get better for you.


I relate to some of what you say. I have never been arrested but I have been a victim of forced psychiatry, being forcibly confined makes you see the world and people in whole new light.

My lawyer said her felt pretty good about the case but if they don't find evidence that I didn't do it then I'll probably go to prison. But I'm at a point where I don't even care anymore. I was only in jail for a day and it traumatized me so bad that I can't eat properly anymore and I'm constantly paranoid.

 

[Vex]

I am so sorry you feel this way and I respect your right to choose how you want to live your life including ending it.

I would, however, ask you to reflect on the decision you are making right now. Is your desire to ctb the product of an overwhelming despair that makes life unlivable or is it because you are facing devastating obstacles that you haven't had to face before?

Things are hard, yes, but you seem as if you are generally content with life outside of this situation. It may not be as untenable as you are thinking.

Really think about what you want to do right now... if your life is good outside of what has happened to you in the past few weeks please reconsider.

Life is valuable and yours may still have merit ❤❤

 

[Belljar]

People don't understand how jail and legal problems can make people suicidal. But it's life ruining. I'm dealing with this now and I wouldn't be suicidal without this threat.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I feel your indignation. I had to deal with the police and I can tell you that it has fucked my life up and continues to do so. It's utterly miserable.

 

[justsurrender]

There is still a great chance for the case to be dropped if what you say is true. The thing about the US criminal justice system is that there has to be beyond a reasonable doubt to convict, and it sounds like the prosecutor won't get that if they have no evidence that you committed the crime. Even then, cases get dropped or charges get reduced, or plea deals are offered. Especially since you would be considered a "first time offender" the law wouldn't have the capacity to bear down on you. Take your time and have frequent chats with your lawyers, as they can shed light on what may seem to be a situation that is easier to remedy than you may know. If your lawyer feels confident, then feel confident in them. Even if a conviction were to come down, appeals processes can work to right legal wrongs. Being a good college student with a job will be helpful in your case, do not give up just yet.

I am sorry that you are going through this. You still have immeasurable value, regardless of what has happened in the last few weeks.

How about your family and friends? Have you looked to talk to someone about your concerns? I hope you can feel some sort of hope in the dark place you are in.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is just so horrible. It sounds so awful what you have been through, of course you do not deserve this. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[Rational man]

The domino effect that leaves you out of control of events!!. But listen, it can reverse as fast it fell apart, often in ways you thought were impossible, but maybe you need time. Impulsive acts are often not thought through. we're all on the rollercoaster ride are we not!?

 

[YourNeighbor]

If you were released after one day in jail, it seems that your charges cannot be that serious. Rarely is bail (or ROR, for that matter) processed so quickly except in relatively minor cases. Heck, even a third degree felony, if a first time offense, rarely gets prison time. Not impossible, but rare.

Without more detail (understand why you don't want to share, though merely identifying charges wouldn't be incriminating) it sounds like you are panicking. That's understandable, the criminal justice system can be terrifying, even brutal, but it is definitely survivable. Especially without a conviction. You may be panicking in advance and for little reason.

Is your attorney a public defender/ do you qualify for one? PDs will often provide much better quality representation than your low-level crim defense attorneys, who often have a big incentive to take a retainer then settle, without putting much work in. The PDs I know are all far more dedicated to justice, and a factually innocent client especially will get far more effort than from the run-of-the-mill private criminal defense lawyer (though many are good too).

Try not to indulge the spiral of panic. Sounds like you are generally healthy, and on the path to adulthood and independence. People are able to have full and meaningful lives, even with criminal records. If you harmed someone, consider the possibility of using this event to make amends and grow. Good luck to you.

 

[Manaaja]

That's beyond horrible. Shouldn't it be "Not guilty unless proven otherwise?". Anyone would rather catch the bus than go to a cage.

I've said this before, and I'll say this again. Prisoners should be allowed to choose between the death penalty and imprisonment. Death is often better for everyone.

I'm really sorry. I guess you could try to escape to Mexico, but that would probably be really risky. So I guess it's safer to ctb.

I hope you can get another chance in another life.

 

[Beeper]

I can relate with how quickly life can turn from good to bad. Legal challenges weigh heavily on the mind and dampen our vision for the future.

I know these situations seem insurmountable; a snowball of events that present themselves at the worst time. But you are young and resilient.

Whatever circumstances you are facing can be addressed. Please consider all aspects before taking action.

Maybe give the legal challenges time to work themselves out before proceeding with your plans.

 

[bennay]

My lawyer said her felt pretty good about the case but if they don't find evidence that I didn't do it then I'll probably go to prison. But I'm at a point where I don't even care anymore. I was only in jail for a day and it traumatized me so bad that I can't eat properly anymore and I'm constantly paranoid.

I understand that this is really scary and traumatizing. they can't convict you without evidence, the repercussions in doing so could be severe for the city, not only could the case be overturned but if they were to convict you with no evidence that you committed a crime, you could sue the fuck out of the city for wrongful imprisonment. If your lawyer is saying that without proof you didn't do the crime you'll go to jail, I urge you to seek a new one immediately please because that is not how the US law works. It is not for the police/prosecutor to prove innocence, they have to prove that you are guilty without reasonable doubt.

 

[Someone123]

About a month ago my life was perfectly fine. I had a good job, me and my girlfriend were about to celebrate our 4 year anniversary, and I was going to college full time studying for a good career. I'm not trying to brag or anything but every day I would wake up and be grateful for the life I had because I knew how cruel the world was. Well apparently the universe just decided to take a huge shit on my life. The first week of October the police show up at our door and they have an arrest warrant to search our house. I'm not going to go into detail about it but long story short I'm the one that ends up going to jail. I'm placed in a holding cell for 16 hours without any food or anything to put water in. I'm finally taken to a pod with 20 other people after the 16 hours. I'm in there for about a day and my parents bond me out of jail. The first week I got out of jail was the worst emotional rollercoaster I've ever been on. I think I cried that week more than I ever have in my life. I would hold my girlfriend and we would cry for 20 minutes at a time. It was horrible. A few days after that first week my girlfriend said she wants to take a break and I was pretty torn about it but I understood because everyone was traumatized. She went to move back in with her parents because we were living with my parents at the time. After a week I tell her that I miss her and I don't get a text back for a few days. Turns out she blocked me. I haven't heard from her since and all I want to know is if she's moved on. It's killing me, she was the love of my life. I haven't done any of my college work because of how depressed Ive become. Plus I sort of lost my job but I have an interview set up to get my old job back but I don't plan on making it. So I went from having everything to having nothing in a matter of weeks. I'm facing prison time for something I didn't fucking do. And I can't get the case dropped unless they find evidence that I didn't do it even though they don't have evidence that I did do it (that's the US justice system for you). All I've done since I got out of jail is lay in bed and watch YouTube. It's the only thing I can use to decompress. Jail was so traumatic that I barely eat or drink anymore. I've developed severe depression. I just can't do this anymore. All of this shit and I'm only 18 years old. I've never done anything in my life to get in trouble or do anything to hurt anyone. I used to love people and I always wanted to make a good impression to everyone I meet. Now I see that the world is a cold place where no one gives a shit about you. What's ironic is before all of this happened and before I found this website I was against people killing themselves. But now I see that if people really dont have a way out then they should be given an option of euthanasia. I mean some people in this world live in pain whether it be physically or mentally and some just have no escape. It's sad. Ive never felt more alone and stuck in my life. I have nowhere to go and I have no one. I've had some pretty bad hardships in my life but this is just fucking ridiculous. I don't know what I did to deserve this but it must have been really bad. I always tried to be a good person and I always tried to be good to other people but I guess that wasn't enough. Ever since I got out of jail I've been researching suicide because I knew it was my only option to escape this hell. I tried several different methods and I've been pretty nervous and I learned something new about myself that I didn't even know. I'm afraid of death, or at least I was. I don't know why but yesterday something in me snapped and now I'm determined to kill myself no matter what. I don't care how painful it is I just want it to end. I would rather be dead than go to fucking prison and have my reputation ruined. At first I wanted a peaceful painless death but now I just don't care. I think I'm slowly going insane. I'm sorry to everyone on here that is suffering. No one deserves to suffer. Our fucked up world is cruel. I'm sorry that this was so long but I just had to get this shit off my chest somewhere. And I might as well leave my story behind somewhere. And for anyone that saw my post this morning I'm sorry about that. I was messing with the thing where you post a thread in the future and I thought I was going to be dead by then. But tonight I'm sure I'll be gone. I'm going to do partial and hopefully fall asleep forever. This community is wonderful. It gave me hope that this world isn't completely fucked. Everyone here is so warm and welcoming. I'll see you all on the other side.

To top all that off my mom got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago so that's nice.

Just fyi I have seen many recent posts on people attempting partial and in every case I have read it didn't work. A couple of celebrities did get partial to work in the past few years, but this seems rare. You may want to search on this site using the term partial to see what other people say- the search box is in the upper right corner.

 

[Meretlein]

If you were released after one day in jail, it seems that your charges cannot be that serious. Rarely is bail (or ROR, for that matter) processed so quickly except in relatively minor cases. Heck, even a third degree felony, if a first time offense, rarely gets prison time. Not impossible, but rare.

Without more detail (understand why you don't want to share, though merely identifying charges wouldn't be incriminating) it sounds like you are panicking. That's understandable, the criminal justice system can be terrifying, even brutal, but it is definitely survivable. Especially without a conviction. You may be panicking in advance and for little reason.

Is your attorney a public defender/ do you qualify for one? PDs will often provide much better quality representation than your low-level crim defense attorneys, who often have a big incentive to take a retainer then settle, without putting much work in. The PDs I know are all far more dedicated to justice, and a factually innocent client especially will get far more effort than from the run-of-the-mill private criminal defense lawyer (though many are good too).

Try not to indulge the spiral of panic. Sounds like you are generally healthy, and on the path to adulthood and independence. People are able to have full and meaningful lives, even with criminal records. If you harmed someone, consider the possibility of using this event to make amends and grow. Good luck to you.

I second this. Based on what @Lifeispointless said (and we can only go off of that, there could be other details), he is in a lot less trouble than he thinks. I am not a lawyer but I have never heard "absence of evidence for innocence" being enough to convict someone in a criminal court.

The burden of proof is on the prosecution.

Burden of Proof: The Meaning of Innocent until Proven Guilty | Gimbel, Reilly, Guerin & Brown, LLP

In criminal cases, the prosecutor has the burden of proof to prove that the defendant is guilty. To learn more, contact a Milwaukee defense attorney.

www.grgblaw.com

Can a Person Be Convicted Without Evidence? - CROOKS LAW

If you have been charged with a crime in Wausau, it is important that you speak with a Crooks, Low & Connell, S.C. attorney as soon as possible.

crooks-law.com

 

[Someone123]

I second this. Based on what @Lifeispointless said (and we can only go off of that, there could be other details), he is in a lot less trouble than he thinks. I am not a lawyer but I have never heard "absence of evidence for innocence" being enough to convict someone in a criminal court.

The burden of proof is on the prosecution.

Burden of Proof: The Meaning of Innocent until Proven Guilty | Gimbel, Reilly, Guerin & Brown, LLP

In criminal cases, the prosecutor has the burden of proof to prove that the defendant is guilty. To learn more, contact a Milwaukee defense attorney.

www.grgblaw.com

Can a Person Be Convicted Without Evidence? - CROOKS LAW

If you have been charged with a crime in Wausau, it is important that you speak with a Crooks, Low & Connell, S.C. attorney as soon as possible.

crooks-law.com

It really depends- if it is a crime for possession of something and it was in his place that may be all they need to prove possession- I think what he may mean is that he would have prove somehow that someone else put it there.

 

[sfabians]

Did they tell you how long you would stay in prison? This is the case of someone innocent who spent 40 years in jail.

What they accuse you of doing, is it really that bad?

 

[YourNeighbor]

Did they tell you how long you would stay in prison? This is the case of someone innocent who spent 40 years in jail.

OP was let out one day after being arrested. He is not facing anything like 40 years. I would be surprised if it was anything like a serious felony.

It really depends- if it is a crime for possession of something and it was in his place that may be all they need to prove possession- I think what he may mean is that he would have prove somehow that someone else put it there.

With any crime, even possession, the prosecution has to prove every element of the crime beyond a reasonable doubt. The burden never shifts to the accused. Of course, it helps to have affirmative evidence of innocence if one is factually innocent. And simple first time possession (of drugs, for example) almost never leads to prison time. Also, with a serious crime, you don't get to bond out in a day, usually a hearing is held to determine the amount of bail or if it is even appropriate. That can take a couple days, sometimes more. It sounds like OP needs to get more guidance from his attorney. It really sounds like he is panicking, which can make a bad situation seem much worse than it is.

OP, if you are enrolled in college, perhaps check with your counseling center (most schools have one) if you think that might help. There may be some one there you could talk to to help process everything/gain some perspective (even if with omitting the details of any alleged crime).