Help Physical pain and hallucinations because guilt?

[PlushieLover]

Hi guys, this time I want to tell you some weird things that go through my head.

First a bit of context, because of me, a girl had a bad time, she started cutting herself again among other ugly things. That was 3 years ago.

The fact is that sometimes I feel a great physical pain in my thighs, (that's where the girl cut herself) I had hallucinations at night with shadow people, cockroaches and spiders. Sometimes I can feel the shadow people breathe on the back of my neck and they touch my butt. They make me have panic attacks and I just feel shame and fear.

Another less serious problem is that when I think about that girl, my head hurts a lot and I can hyperventilate if I don't calm down quickly.

I don't know if this is PTSD or just a lot of guilt. Fortunately, it doesn't happen to me every night.


Does someone know why does this happens to me? Does someone have a similar problem? What should I do?

 

[Rayzieka]

Gee sorry to hear you're having these kinds of hallucinations as well.
In my case, the hallucinations that cause physical pain are due to being reached out to and grabbed by human like figures- usually only at night.
I absolutely don't want to confuse you or get you caught up in a struggle with doctors like me but I also can't recommend self diagnosis. In my case these things come from my diagnosis of schizophrenia, for me it causes many kinds of hallucinations. But if you've already got doctors in your life and are willing to take medication for whatever they decide is wrong- beware it doesn't always get easier. But even if that's my view on medication I can't say I know another solution to the hallucinations :(

 

[PlushieLover]

Gee sorry to hear you're having these kinds of hallucinations as well.
In my case, the hallucinations that cause physical pain are due to being reached out to and grabbed by human like figures- usually only at night.
I absolutely don't want to confuse you or get you caught up in a struggle with doctors like me but I also can't recommend self diagnosis. In my case these things come from my diagnosis of schizophrenia, for me it causes many kinds of hallucinations. But if you've already got doctors in your life and are willing to take medication for whatever they decide is wrong- beware it doesn't always get easier. But even if that's my view on medication I can't say I know another solution to the hallucinations :(

I already went to a psychiatrist but they only medicated me for depression. Not really helpful at all and it was expensive. I think I would need a lot of money if a want a decent doctor in the US :/

 

[WornOutLife]

Mmm you should see a new psychiatrist, what if it's some kind of schizophrenia instead of depression?

Although you're right, the money is really a problem. Why is everything so expensive?

Well, have you tried watching meditation videos? I'm not into that but this 8 minutes video of Sam Harris about meditation without spirituality made me feel better and calmer.

Check it out:

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not an expert, but maybe it sounds like you have multiple mental disorders. Possibly anxiety/PTSD/schizophrenia or at least that what is the symptoms sound like. I think many mental disorders are known to cause physical pain. It must be awful and I wish you the best and hope you get relief.

 

[motel rooms]

First a bit of context, because of me, a girl had a bad time, she started cutting herself again among other ugly things.

Are you sure that it's entirely your fault? You might be exaggerating

 

[Rayzieka]

I already went to a psychiatrist but they only medicated me for depression. Not really helpful at all and it was expensive. I think I would need a lot of money if a want a decent doctor in the US :/

If you get the chance to see one again maybe you should focus on the worst symptoms. I know that they usually need to see someone for 6 months to get a proper diagnosis but they slapped me with heavy meds the first day I said anything- far before the diagnosis. So there's always that chance I suppose. Im not sure how other states work but where I am they generally pay for these kinds of things if you're considered under the poverty line.

 

[landojustwannactb]

Damn

 

[PlushieLover]

Mmm you should see a new psychiatrist, what if it's some kind of schizophrenia instead of depression?

Although you're right, the money is really a problem. Why is everything so expensive?

Well, have you tried watching meditation videos? I'm not into that but this 8 minutes video of Sam Harris about meditation without spirituality made me feel better and calmer.

Check it out:

I have not tried to meditate yet, I will try it, thank you man.

I'm not an expert, but maybe it sounds like you have multiple mental disorders. Possibly anxiety/PTSD/schizophrenia or at least that what is the symptoms sound like. I think many mental disorders are known to cause physical pain. It must be awful and I wish you the best and hope you get relief.

Thanks! I hope not to have schizophrenia. Hopefully it is hallucinations for stress.

Are you sure that it's entirely your fault? You might be exaggerating

Maybe it's not 100% my fault, but after all I was part of the reason and that is more than enough. I feel very bad about what I cause, I do not have excuses.

If you get the chance to see one again maybe you should focus on the worst symptoms. I know that they usually need to see someone for 6 months to get a proper diagnosis but they slapped me with heavy meds the first day I said anything- far before the diagnosis. So there's always that chance I suppose. Im not sure how other states work but where I am they generally pay for these kinds of things if you're considered under the poverty line.

Yeah I should see a doctor. About the money, I have some money in my piggy bank, like 800$ dollars, it's supposed to be for my college, but I don't even know what I want to study or if I want to study in the first place. Probably not enough, but at least I would know what is wrong with my little brain. That is enough for me, I will kill myself anyway lol.

Damn

Damn indeed