Discussion Philosophical Jazz - Standards and Practices Edition

[pete_x]

Hit a bit of a snag in my philosophy since being here.

While all are encouraged to participate, I urge/request that those with a softer touch
stay their hand.
In terms of the question/rambling, I feel bluntness/brutality should be the order of the day on this one.

Am i doing a disservice to my family by keeping this from them.
Not the journey but the endpoint.
I feel some need for vengeance. Some pull towards malice. For the betrayals of the past,
some of which continue into the present, I feel an answer is required.
I am not speaking of murder to be clear.
Though two members of my family certainly deserve it.

Originally I was content to disappear and be done with it giving my family
the comfort of that unknowing/seperation as it's my tendency to promote peace and respect
wherever that avenue is available, going against my "better" nature.
I put up with alot.
Why shouldn't they have to step over my corpse in their pursuit of their selfish ends ?

The flipside of that being I don't want to do harm to the kids. For some reason I'll never
understand, my nieces and nephews actually like me and want to know my mind on things.
I do my best to be a grumpy asshole but, they seem to see through it. It's annoying.

I am aware of the pettiness in this shift. But am I wrong ?
Am i wrong to want vengeance ? Am i wrong to force them to see their part in this ?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My opinion...


Imagine the fuck out of it.

Imagine it freely without judgments of right, wrong, etc. Explore. Get what you want from it.

That's not the same as doing it.

IMO, giving yourself permission to imagine it will release some internal pressure, and then if there's anything underneath that needs to come up, it will be able to because you didn't repress the thoughts, or repress or negate yourself with condemnation.

 

[pete_x]

Your response reflects wisdom. I had to think a while on it. Thank you.

 

[Ange_Fatigue]

I personnaly stay away from any form of revenge. If someone harmed you, by seeking vengeance it just produce more harm. It s additive not soustractive. Vengeance add more crap on the pile of crap, plus I don t feel better when doing shitty things, maybe feel in control on the very moment. But by the it s more losing control of myself.

 

[pete_x]

I personnaly stay away from any form of revenge. If someone harmed you, by seeking vengeance it just produce more harm. It s additive not soustractive. Vengeance add more crap on the pile of crap, plus I don t feel better when doing shitty things, maybe feel in control on the very moment. But by the it s more losing control of myself.

I think maybe I just needed to actually say it. I've never addressed it before. I'll be going with the original plan of just disappearing when the time comes.