Venting Pets are burdens when you want to die

[qw3rty259]

When you want to die your pet becomes a burden to you, cause it's an equivalent of having a child you can't leave alone without feeling guilty. It's basically one of those ties and responsibilities that might stop you from CTBing... If only i was smarter when I pick him up from the street at a young age, If only somebody could explain to me what that action entails. My young age at that time and the presence of a person who can keep caring about him are my justifications, but it still feels like a trap, cause I leave this burden on a relative. Gladly, the cat is pretty old, hope he will die peacefully soon too, at least he has that option.

 

[Privateer2368]

Pets are always burdens.

 

[maka]

This was hard for me at first, but then I told myself, my cats, just like everyone else, will definitely find someone who they love more and are happier with when I die. I will do my best to make sure they get into a loving home, and that's it. Yes, I will be sad leaving them behind, but at the same time I'm such a loser that they will most likely forget about me once they experience what it's like to be with an owner who isn't miserable 24/7 like myself.

 

[vampire2002]

i wouldn't go so far as to call my pets burdens, but they've definitely become quite difficult for me to take care of with my mental illness. although i love them so much, i wish i could be a better owner for them. the prospect of leaving them behind makes me feel like i've failed them, even if i know my family will take care of them.

 

[Hecubaa]

Please don't take this as hostile but it pains me when people see their pets as burdens. It certainly depends on whether or not you see recovery as an option for yourself but pets can really help. My pets love me unconditionally although I have been terrible towards them since my suicidal ideation started again. Realizing I am not meeting their needs is something that often makes me hate myself but also, every time I am able to push myself and do something for them, I feel better, even if it's just for a few hours. Today, I cleaned my cat's litter box after not cleaning it for a week. Needless to say, it was absolutely disgusting and unsanitary. While I was cleaning it and seeing all the poop and mold and what not, I felt very upset at myself. But then I told myself that at least I finally did it today and now it's better and I should congratulate myself for it. My pets are my main, if not only, reason to want to recover. They never did anything to hurt me, they are always happy to see me and spend time with me, they are physically there for me when I need warmth, and it was my choice to adopt them thus I am responsible for them inspite of my own feelings and I want to honor that as much as I can even when it is difficult for me, simply because they deserve it. Granted, I do have a few people who also love my pets who would be willing to take them without feeling resentment if I ended up CTBing, which makes it easier for me. If I manage to and if my decision to CTB doesn't end up being impulsive(ultimately, whether or not I end up doing it, I'd rather not do it impulsively, although I do struggle with being impulsive,) I'd also be willing to work my ass off to save some money for their care if I decide to go. My pets are the one wonderful thing this life has offered me and, even when it is excruciatingly hard, I'll do what I can for them.