Perspective from the stories of others

[Betweenlifeanddeath]

Is anyone else feeling ashamed of considering suicide... looking at others here?
I joined a few days ago, mostly to learn about techniques, help plan to ctb...

But the stories I have read, of so many of you, have shaken me. I was (am?) a successful professional. I was not unlucky with women, just in love. It was just that work was everything to me. I used it to hide some emptiness, sadness inside. I hid from the world in my work. An then I was fired without cause a few weeks before the holidays. My very recent relationship did not survive what that brought up. I know financial troubles are ahead. I am in a competitive industry and despite my good reputation, it is difficult to find something.
So then followed a few weeks later a crushing wave of intense depression.

I am a trained scientist but I came here to look for technical information to help ctb. I need to kill that pain so badly. Make sure it never comes back. End it.

And on here, I found all those stories. Awful tragedies. People living with suicidal thoughts for years. Incurable diseases. Debilitating pathologies.

And now I find myself ashamed, weak to think of ctb because of what happened to me.

Does anyone else has those thoughts about their own thoughts while reading through SS?

 

[Quarky00]

Is anyone else feeling ashamed of considering suicide... looking at others here?

I feel the same.

But people here accept others' pain regardless of some "objective severity". Most people I knew IRL react just like that, dismissing each other's pain as "small issues", and that's bad.

A break-up, dismissal from work that was your life, tough job seeking ahead and future financial difficulties, following years of emptiness, described as crushing wave of intense depression - that is a debilitating tragedy (which one could perhaps overcome). It does not make you weak, but human. And humble.

 

[Betweenlifeanddeath]

Thank you, you are right.
I never felt anything dismissive here from anyone. That is just from introspection...

 

[mediocre]

No I don't feel ashamed. SS is like the therapy I never got. Initially I joined to research suicide methods and planned to be gone soon afterward. I never expected to become an active member and meet so many wonderful open minded people. I am still actively suicidal but it is a great comfort to know that there are others out there from all over the world going through the same things as me. I don't know what I would do without SS now.

 

[Jean4]

Who is to judge one person's pain is greater than another? My partner CTB last month. I knew his issues. To me, there was nothing we couldn't work on together. His pain was so great that not even love could stop him.

Everybody has their own breaking point which is unique to ones self.

 

[Betweenlifeanddeath]

True; I don't look at this as in judging others. Quite the opposite. In a very personal way, it gave me a perspective on myself, on my issues, on my future. I still don't know what will happen now. I just gave me pause, snapped me out of the pure pain and exhaustion somewhat.

 

[Despondent]

I look at everyone else's story here also and I think damn.. what's my problem? lol But I know that everyone is considerate of each others stories and feelings. If it gives us pain, enough pain to want to end OUR own lives, then we all have the right to consider ctb if that's what we want. Some may have experienced more, and for maybe a longer time, but that doesn't mean that our own story has less importance compared to them. Don't be ashamed.

 

[Skyview]

No , not ashamed at all . There is support here which you cannot get elsewhere. We care about each other and sometimes disagree on topics which is healthy for discussions. The impact of someone who decides that enough is enough and departs this world is so profound, many a tear has been shed within this forum . Pro choice not pro life !
Come away in and grab a seat by the fire and get to know everyone.

 

[Soul]

@Betweenlifeanddeath, you're the only one who can assess whether or not your life is worth continuing. What you write sounds like this place has given you some helpful perspective, which is brilliant. I wish you positive outcomes as you go forward x

 

[elizabeth.luck]

No two people are alike. Some can endure more pain than others and some may thrive in circumstances where others would die. Follow your path wherever it may lead.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

And now I find myself ashamed, weak to think of ctb because of what happened to me.

Does anyone else has those thoughts about their own thoughts while reading through SS?

There is no shame in how you feel... your feelings are unique to you and you alone.

You will find support from people who have gone through much more and much less than you. We are all here dealing with these feelings. I don't think anyone here is going to belittle your feelings.

I always say if it's just money or just a job, who cares. We are Trained to believe those things matter more than anything else... The cookie cutter and "expected" lifestyle that we are taught from childhood is not the magic road to happiness.

If you are healthy you can always file bankruptcy, clear your depts buy a camper van, a bicycle and a kayak and hit the road, go on an adventure, find yourself. Maybe start a new career.

Losing a job, or losing income does not mean you have to lose your life, infact it could just be the path to rebirth you need.

No matter where you go from here, this place is ( for the most part ) safe and free of judgement. Regardless of where your path leads we are all here for you.

Sometimes life forces off the road because it's not the road we were supposed to be on in the first place.

 

[BabyYoda]

I believe I already passed my limit last year, and this is where I'm recovering. Honestly this is the best forum I've been in when I'm looking for support. So far no one else that I know in real life have such perspectives on suicide as shown here.

 

[pole]

i use to think like that.

however, even though we all have gone through different circumstances to bring us where we are today onto this forum; each one of us still feels the same types of emotions. you can have gone through something seen as absolutely tragic, but the emotions that one person feels in that situation is still the same emotions another person can feel in a completely different less-tragic situation. even though we may have gone through different situations that have caused us pain and sadness, we all still feel and share the same emotions. outside of just looking at situations, some of us may be more emotionally sensitive than others and feel things way deeper than other people on an emotional level, even if we haven't gone through the same tragedy as someone. though we went through different situations, it doesn't change the fact we still feel the same emotions as the next person, period.

to me, stuff similar to this just undervalues someone's pain and suffering. no one should be comparing and contrasting their situations and what they went through with someone elses cause they think they might've had it worse. just selfish imo, and completely overlooks the emotions that the other person can be feeling, even if they didnt go through similar circumstances as you.

i'm sorry for what you went through, the emotions you feel are the emotions that others feel on here. even if you didn't have similar situations, you still feel the exact emotions others feel and that can't be altered or changed, and should never be undervalued. dont ever feel shameful for how you feel and why YOU wanna ctb.

 

[HereToday]

There will always be people who have it better than you, and people who have it worse. It doesn't matter if your reasons are more or less serious than mine, what matters is that you want to end YOUR life. This isn't some kind of competition, and things affect people in different ways