6ixxy

6ixxy

I sank so she could swim
Apr 26, 2019
273
What are your opinions on getting personal affairs settled before you CTB?
I've already started kinda letting go of most of my financial commitments very loosely, not to arouse suspicion. But things such as cleaning out your room before you go, selling possessions etc, do you think it's worth it in the grand scheme of things & if so why?
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
It really depends. If you have family or not.
 
6ixxy

6ixxy

I sank so she could swim
Apr 26, 2019
273
It really depends. If you have family or not.
I have family yeah, but it's wanna know from anyone else's perspective, to kind of give me an idea of what is a necessity & what isn't.
 
Grandexit

Grandexit

Experienced
Dec 4, 2019
200
I' m stuck on that myself. I will dispose of all my personal effects. Placing my dogs will not be easy. I'm not going to do anything at my house, because I don't want anything negative problems attached to the property. I want my family to just have as few issues as possible.
 
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noctiva

noctiva

the invisible girl
Nov 6, 2019
393
I have semi-cleaned out. I have packed all the things that I want specific people to have into boxes for these specific people, I have also made memory boxes for them, containing trinkets from activities we did together that I've kept, i.e. my friend and I went to see Aquaman, so I have the movie tickets from that because I collect such things to remember the good times, I have the hotel room key holders from the hotels I've been to with my partner, so he will get them to remember when we went to specific hotels. Basically the things that keep my memories of those people and the activities I've done with them fresh. SO everybody gets 2 boxes, one with memories, one with stuff I want them to have. Also everybody gets a folder with their note in it.
I've cleaned out some of my stuff, such as boxes that are just full of random papers, junk and whatnot so my partner doesn't have to do it, because it's just junk. I have left the stuff that I do not want to give to anyone specifically out in the open, then people can decide who gets what and why. But I am still living in my apartment, so I cannot pack up everything anyway. But let's say I've made it easier for them to go through my stuff. I will not sell anything, because everyone earns money, but memories they can't get back. Meaning if someone goes 'I always loved her rocking chair', they can have it. Getting the 120 or so I could get for it, will be less useful I think.
 
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Flightlinek

Student
Aug 20, 2018
113
I will not take any special measures at all. This is because I did let some things go before the first time I tried (20+ years ago), and recovering after I didn't succeed was very, very difficult and ultimately, after trying to recover for several years, led to bankruptcy. I've tried a few more times since, but without doing anything special beforehand... when those attempts didn't work out, I just went back to life as "normal."
 
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Malletboy

Malletboy

Member
Nov 27, 2019
52
I think it depends on who is taking care of your stuff after you ctb. It's a bit selfish to not only take your life, but leave someone else with the mess you created before going. Debts w/ co-signers attached, messy room/apt/house, etc could be burdensome for the executor (whoever handles your post-death affairs and arrangements) to deal with.

I've dictated which items of mines I want going to which of my friends & family in personalized notes. I plan on cleaning up my space, acquiring enough cash to pay off the rest of my rent and a couple of other things. I don't think I'll be as extensive and thorough as @noctiva but I'll definitely try to make my executor's life as easy as possible
 
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Farmmaa

Farmmaa

Specialist
Dec 4, 2019
343
I'm just starting the process and it's daunting, to say the least.
When my mom died, she left behind so much crap that we had to sort through that I am really trying to scale down as much as possible so that my kids don't have to face the same task.
I've got a whole house to go through, plus my yard, greenhouse, floral supplies, rehoming my chickens and trying to figure out what to do with about 500 dahlia tubers and thousands of flower seeds.
I'm going through cupboards, closets and boxes right now and then will start to face the furniture, family heirlooms, etc.
Good thing I'm waiting until January to ctb... this is going to take a while.
 
Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
802
It depends on your situation. I have no one besides my friends and my mother that I'm on good terms with...
I'm broke and on disability. The only thing I have to offer my mother once I ctb is my phone, tv, computer, and pet. It's not much. But I know she'll appreciate having my pet because it will make her feel like I'm right there with her as my pet is pretty much my baby. I love him dearly.
 
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WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
I've been working on cleaning up my stuff for months. Talking about pension fund, personal bank account, pre-paid burial, selling car and a lot of other shit. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me wanting to delay the inevitable however.
 
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6ixxy

6ixxy

I sank so she could swim
Apr 26, 2019
273
It depends on your situation. I have no one besides my friends and my mother that I'm on good terms with...
I'm broke and on disability. The only thing I have to offer my mother once I ctb is my phone, tv, computer, and pet. It's not much. But I know she'll appreciate having my pet because it will make her feel like I'm right there with her as my pet is pretty much my baby. I love him dearly.
Can relate, I have few friends that mean much but my mother is my rock, wish I could come into a mass amount of money so she can solve her problems when I go as I know money is an issue. I don't really have much to leave, my car is financed, I don't really 'own' anything of value, I was just thinking of disposing personal items from my room that I otherwise wouldn't want anyone to see
I've been working on cleaning up my stuff for months. Talking about pension fund, personal bank account, pre-paid burial, selling car and a lot of other shit. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me wanting to delay the inevitable however.
Could very well be a subconscious effort to delay it
The way I see it is if you're going to be gone anyway, yes it's nice & kind to sort things out beforehand but you won't be there to witness any repercussions or anything, I suppose that's one way to look at it, if you don't want to burden the stress into someone else, but then again it doesn't really matter
 
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WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
Can relate, I have few friends that mean much but my mother is my rock, wish I could come into a mass amount of money so she can solve her problems when I go as I know money is an issue. I don't really have much to leave, my car is financed, I don't really 'own' anything of value, I was just thinking of disposing personal items from my room that I otherwise wouldn't want anyone to see

Could very well be a subconscious effort to delay it
The way I see it is if you're going to be gone anyway, yes it's nice & kind to sort things out beforehand but you won't be there to witness any repercussions or anything, I suppose that's one way to look at it, if you don't want to burden the stress into someone else, but then again it doesn't really matter

I'll probably be working on it for 40 years ;)
 
A

Ark

Arcanist
Oct 18, 2019
412
I am putting everything in order that I am able to. Even ordered my Bio Urn and have set up where it is to be buried.

This was my life, I feel it is my responsibility to take care of everything I can related to my passing.
 
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6ixxy

6ixxy

I sank so she could swim
Apr 26, 2019
273
I am putting everything in order that I am able to. Even ordered my Bio Urn and have set up where it is to be buried.

This was my life, I feel it is my responsibility to take care of everything I can related to my passing.
I like the idea of being responsible during my last few weeks/days. Kind of in a way to make up for being a self acclaimed piece of shit for the past 10 year, I think that's how I'm gonna deal with it, it's the least I owe my mother.
 
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fightingsioux

fightingsioux

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
357
I've been working on cleaning up my stuff for months. Talking about pension fund, personal bank account, pre-paid burial, selling car and a lot of other shit. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me wanting to delay the inevitable however.
Not at all. It certainly depends on the individual and the circumstances of their life, but I've been doing exactly the same as you. I'm 71, so I have a lot of stuff to take care of, but after extensive researching and thinking I made a long list of things to do. For the past few months I've been checking items off the list.

For example, I met with a CPA last week, she's going to do my taxes in early January, I'm going to pay what I owe and be done with that. I sold my house and moved into a small apartment on a month-to-month lease. Been donating stuff constantly for months, going to get things down to a small travel suitcase. Have arranged all my finances (that was complicated). Going to put my Social Security on hold, close all financial and utility accounts. Numerous other things.

30 years ago I knew someone whose mother killed herself apparently with no pre-planning, perhaps it was a spontaneous act, every human being is different, who knows what stresses she was under. My friend and her siblings and their families spent a lot of time tying-up many, many loose ends. It made a big impression on me, I'm not going to let that happen.

Feel free to PM me at any time.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
My best friend will almost definitely have the task of emptying my apartment. It's not fair to him to leave any sort of mess, and I want to make it as easy on him as possible. I'm not getting rid of most of my things, but I am packing them up. That way it's all still here if I change my mind or fail, or it's neat and ready to go if I succeed.

I've paid for a few years of online backup for my electronics for the same reason. I'll wipe my hard drives and reset my phone, but the data will still be safe if things go another direction. I'm the only one who knows about this, and if I never pay for more time it just gets deleted.

There's not much else I think is really necessary. I've promised myself I won't go until I take care of this basic stuff.
 
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WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
Not at all. It certainly depends on the individual and the circumstances of their life, but I've been doing exactly the same as you. I'm 71, so I have a lot of stuff to take care of, but after extensive researching and thinking I made a long list of things to do. For the past few months I've been checking items off the list.

For example, I met with a CPA last week, she's going to do my taxes in early January, I'm going to pay what I owe and be done with that. I sold my house and moved into a small apartment on a month-to-month lease. Been donating stuff constantly for months, going to get things down to a small travel suitcase. Have arranged all my finances (that was complicated). Going to put my Social Security on hold, close all financial and utility accounts. Numerous other things.

30 years ago I knew someone whose mother killed herself apparently with no pre-planning, perhaps it was a spontaneous act, every human being is different, who knows what stresses she was under. My friend and her siblings and their families spent a lot of time tying-up many, many loose ends. It made a big impression on me, I'm not going to let that happen.

Feel free to PM me at any time.

I'm an enterpreneur, I've been selling off parts of my business for a while now. It's getting to the point that it's getting a bit absurd - letting things go for a lot less than I should if I were to run them for the coming years. People close to me are increasingly asking questions why I'm liquidating stuff for a sub-optimal value (because I want to be rid of it now, and have complete freedom over my actions). Not sure if I can wrap it up entirely since it's already starting to become suspicious
 
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P

PeaceisallIwishfor

Member
Dec 4, 2019
78
I have sold my car and am trying to sell a few other things just to have some extra money to maybe treat myself in the remaining days, but all in all I think I will leave most of everything for my parents to decide what to do with, when I'm gone they can rent my house out to someone else which will be nice for them to have that extra money.
 
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R

Ritter

Member
Aug 30, 2019
76
There's a lot of considerations, obviously it varies person-to-person but the following are some things that may be helpful for those who are planning/getting their affairs in order.

Disposition of remains: If you wish your remains to be taken care of in a significant way (cremated, burial funeral, etc) then make sure you write that in a will or last statement. If you wish for certain individuals to have some of your things (certain clothes, tools, games, etc) then again make sure it is in a will or statement because without that then it's up to the next-of-kin who may not know your wishes or may decide to take another course of action.

Do I need a will? Make sure if you have assets in excess of $30,000 (if you are in the US) you put them in a will, if you have life insurance, IRA accounts, etc that you designate a beneficiary. It depends by state (in the US) but if you have assets greater that $30,000 but not a will then your assets go to probate where any outstanding debt takes priority, everything is subject to court costs and lawyer fees, and your family has to go through some frustrating and complicated hurdles to get anything of value and/or settle your debts.

There are generic will's you can buy at some office supply stores, there are some online services that cost a small fee ($35 or so) if you want to make sure you do it right.

Pets: If you have a pet it is considered property in the eyes of the law so you need to designate a caretaker for your pet(s) and can also allocate some funds from your estate for its care. Please note that if you CTB and there is no one there to take care of your pets they may be taken and put into a shelter.

Life insurance: If you have a policy ensure that it is two years old before CTB as most states (with the exception of one or two) require the policy to be two years or older to pay out in an instance of suicide. I would also look at your particular policy to see if there are any other exceptions.

Financial accounts (credit card, banking, loans, retirement, medical savings etc) I would write down the account numbers, it's expected asset value (or debt), and your log in information if there is any. Your family or loved ones may not have access until they get a death certificate which can take quite a bit of time in some cases.

Property: If you have a car, boat, house, real estate in your name make sure your family or whomever will have access to your deed, title, etc of that property so they can take possession of or begin the process of taking care of your assets. If you have a car or home that you are still paying on: it can take months to get everything taken care of and your lenders will still expect payment so to prevent repossession or foreclosure/late fees/additional costs that will come out of whatever assets you leave behind then I really advise you have this information available to whomever will be handling your estate.

Why does it matter? Putting your affairs together can be a pretty tedious and lengthy process, If you are leaving behind family or friends that will be taking care of your assets when you CTB I strongly encourage you to take the time to get everything together. Your friends and family (no matter how estranged or little you think of your current relationship) will very likely be having an incredibly hard time with your passing and all of this will help them through the process since grief can make it almost impossible to do anything productive.


Sorry for the long-winded post. Just some general advice that will help make sure your last wishes are followed and to help out any friends or family through the aftermath.
 
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LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
I have updated my will and gotten the financial concerns in order. But I'm afraid if I start getting rid of things ir packing things up I will tip someone off. I'll do my best to have things in order. But ultimately someone is going to be left with the task of emptying my house.
 
R

Ritter

Member
Aug 30, 2019
76
I have updated my will and gotten the financial concerns in order. But I'm afraid if I start getting rid of things ir packing things up I will tip someone off. I'll do my best to have things in order. But ultimately someone is going to be left with the task of emptying my house.

While you can't explain away everything claiming you are down-sizing, embracing minimalism (tell people you're addicted to marie kondo's tidying up) and you can get down to very little.
 
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S

SneekUponIt

Member
Nov 13, 2019
34
I had a list of things I was planning to do to CTB like a gentleman. Now I'm only going through the trouble of finding a good loving home for my best friend only(my pet cat). I just had to listen to someone in my family ring up my phone about how miserable people ruin Christmas for others...because they don't smile enough? My response to her was using her logic that would mean maybe miserable people get triggered by people wearing fake smiles all day and have to hold back their urge to slap it right off of their faces...don't worry this family member is a huge covert narcissist, I wouldn't say that to someone who is genuinely a nice/happy person with a bubbly personality.
 
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Secrets1

Specialist
Nov 18, 2019
359
This has been on my mind in a big way. The emotional burden of suicide on my family is the biggest thing keeping me alive so if I choose ctb minimizing their suffering and conveying a message they will look back on their entire lives is imperative. I love noctiva's approach described above and would look to do something similar.

I recently downloaded the "official" will for my state of residence, they want last 4 of social security #'s and current addresses of beneficiaries. I'm sure as hell not tipping my final hand when it needs to be played by asking family for that. All that matters is for the executor to be able to track them down and then sort it out, correct?
 
LegaliseIt!

LegaliseIt!

Elementalist
Nov 29, 2019
808
I'm making lists now, and setting it up so that my husband will have minimal hassles. No income, so I can't pre-plan my cremation, which is more burden on my already exhausted husband. I've put him through so much (I have Borderline Personality Disorder)
 
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